cmxoxoxo13's Favorites

XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:56pm UTC

Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-scented shampoos before? Everything was just strawberry, cinnamon, and citrus. Nice, normal things.
Now I pick up a bottle of shampoo and it's all like:
"DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYA MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLIAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOU HAIR SOME VOLUME."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 844 points

neonraver7
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 12:01am UTC

So My Friend And I Went To A Haunted House...
*All of a sudden, a zombie pops out*
My friend: F*ck me!
Zombie: But we only just met!
Me: ...
Zombie: ...
Kid behind us: ...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 94 points

softballxwin27
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 11:14am UTC

Dear nose,
If you're going to sneeze, please sneeze.
Sincerely- stood there looking like I've been hit by a shovel.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 166 points

Eli22b
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 12:28pm UTC

The 5 steps to procrastination
1.)
Nevermind, I'll tell you later.

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basicallyeric
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 8:35pm UTC

Losing your pencil
while doing your homework is god’s sign of telling you not to do it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 111 points

sunkissedgirls711
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 5:44pm UTC

If you watch an Apple
store get robbed,
DOes that Make you an iwitness?
format:wuvyouboo

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 82 points

asianmayonnaise
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 7:38pm UTC

What's the difference betweeen a Ferarri and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Carry on.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 3:55pm UTC

i did it
I’ve climbed this whole mountain
01/01/01, 02/02/02, 03/03/03,
04/04/04, 05/05/05, 06/06/06,
07/07/07, 08/08/08, 09/09/09,
10/10/10, 11/11/11, and 12/12/12
I’ve done it
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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lovecrazy
posted a quote
October 29, 2012 7:49pm UTC

Hurricane Sandy wouldn't be here, if Patrick would've
just stopped making fun of Texas.
(OneDirection/nmf)

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Swag Unicorn*
posted a quote
November 8, 2012 3:52pm UTC

I just figured it out why people call themselves sociallyawkward penguins
Penguins can't break the ice.
format by br0kenwings

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taylorstories
posted a quote
October 27, 2012 4:01pm UTC

3 Scariest Words in Math
Show your work.

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iridescentstorm
posted a quote
October 27, 2012 1:29pm UTC

Horror movies are always so stereotypicial. They're always in abandoned houses, hostpials/asylums, and hotels.
You know where I want to see a horror movie take place?
Walmart.
"Cleanup on isle 13."
"But there is no isle 13..."
mq/©iridescentstorm

👍 this is good · read the comments · 991 points

yourcool
posted a quote
October 24, 2012 5:42pm UTC

Boyfri(end).
Girlfri(end).
Piz(forever)za.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1028 points

musicaddict27
posted a quote
October 29, 2012 3:10pm UTC

What if Gangnam Style
is actually a giant rain dance, and we brought the hurricane on ourselves?

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yourcool
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 7:12pm UTC

when i laugh at jokes on the internet,
i don't even laugh. i just blow more air out of my nose than usual.

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beachbabe7
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 3:07pm UTC

Hurricane Katrina
Let me tell you something about Sandy. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrasing. I don't even...whatever. So then in eigth grade, Irene hit, and Sandy was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would rate her a 1, and then I'd rate Irene a 3, she'd be like, "Why am I rated me so low?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-category 3 and up party, I was like, "Sandy, I can't invite you, because you're category 1." I mean I couldn't have a category 1 at my party. There were gonna be storms wipping out entire cities there. I mean, right? She was a CATEGORY 1. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in October, and now I guess she's destoying the entire East Coast.
Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago

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nessalovesyou13
posted a quote
September 13, 2012 10:25pm UTC

Basically, all my sentences start with one of these:
-ok so
-basically
-omg
-no but seriously
-actually
-ok
-wow
-ok wow (or wow ok)
-wait
-but wait
-no wait
-guys
-oh wow
-so like
-dude

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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isitonlyme
posted a quote
September 13, 2012 7:39pm UTC

Plot twist: Someone says something nice behind your back

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Louis4me
posted a quote
September 13, 2012 9:02pm UTC

Relatable Moments #1
Watching a Horror Movie and thinking "No Dont kill him! He's Hot!!"
Should I Make a Series?

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