i knew it would be hard. it has always been hard. i knew it would take long. i knew it would be like this. i almost regret having any optimism. false hopes. overqualified. underqualified. somewhere in between. overall not good enough. not what we're looking for. goodluck next time. we'll keep it on record, just in case. but at the end of the day it still comes back to not what we're looking for. overqualified. underqualified. "thank you"s in between. a bunch of "not successfuls" and "but"s. am i at the stage where it's still too early to give in? because i really want to. i'm qualified for more rejections and ego blows. unqualified for any good that could come beyond that. good intentions don't mean anything. sounds good or awful on paper. in person can't pull it off. masked in disadvantage. obstacles galore. i will overcome this all one day. i know. but it's always the right now that is hard. and one day is not my life. my life is right now and right now is hard.
~its been quite a while since i've posted here. I feel ashamed to say i've been recently falling back in my old tracks and self. I've been a year and...7 months clean..I'm proud..and my confidence is much well now. I know my worth, finally. However...I have no control anymore.~
justduanaa posted a quote
April 3, 2019 11:36pm EDT
You see that I knew better, yeah I knew better Than to refuse your hand, you rescued me from myself. Oh, just slip the noose, Untie the ropes from my wrist, I was about to let go, Until I knew you existed. Break down, hysteric and young Uncomfortably numb Then you sent my pain, into oblivion I was on the verge of breaking down, Then you came around and not a second too late.
This is not to say all men are hungry. This is not even to say all men are hunting. But haven’t we all found the bones of a woman stuck like leftovers between a full man’s teeth? blythe baird ; If My Body Could Speak