East Coast Gothic foggy piers something large and unknown washing up onto the shore the end of the beach disappearing into the storm shade of the forest, leaving patterned shadows and tricking your eyes overgrown tombstones old houses painted black, shuttered windows an outbuilding in the middle of the woods, the forest has moved inside you know someone lives there figures between the trees, whispering
SANDD* posted a quote
November 14, 2018 6:29pm EST
Thank you for showing me how it feels to be put down. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be cheated on. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be guilted, to be played with, and demonized. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be a side piece. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be inferior. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be made out to be a freak, a monster. Thank you for demonizing my autism, for making me ashamed of who I am. Thank you for pulling me away from my hobbies and friends. Thank you for bringing me down whenever my hobbies and passions got in the way of your control of me. Thank you for choosing your ex over me Thank you for trying to make me jealous and insecure with other guys Thank you for gas lighting me when I was upset, Thank you for always holding yourself in higher regard than myself. Thank you for ignoring my happiness, treating me like a burden instead of a human. Thank you for not caring about how your actions affect me, thank you for simply not caring at all. Thank you for lying, about anything and everything you could. Thank you for only doing something kind so you could use it against me in the future. Thank you for trapping me when I wanted to leave. Thank you for for hiding me, for treating me like I was an embarrassment, as if there was something wrong with me; only for it to manifest as crippling anxiety that makes it hard to be out in public without medication. When I told you all of this. Thank you for responding with “Noah, I literally do not care.” . . . Thank you for showing me what I never, ever, want to be. Thank you for showing me everything I can avoid, Thank you for showing me how to be the best partner in the world, and teaching me all the lessons I needed to learn to bring happiness into peoples lives again instead of misery. Thank you for bringing me to my lowest point, so as I heal and rise back up... I can be sure that I will never, ever, ever, be anything remotely like you.
Mad Girl’s Love Song I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) The stars go waltzing out in blue and red, And arbitrary blackness gallops in: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane. (I think I made you up inside my head.) God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade: Exit Seraphim and Satan’s men: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I fancied you’d return the way you said, But I grow old and I forget your name. (I think I made you up inside my head.) I should have loved a thunderbird instead; At least when spring comes they roar back again. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. (I think I made you up inside my head.)
One&Only❤️🏒 2:09 AM 11/12/18 okay where do i start... uhh i love you so much (my full name) you are my everything my whole world. I know we've had our ups and downs kinda like were on a roller coaster but im so set to keep riding it with you because i want u to be in my future and yea ik you probably reading that is scaring you and trust me it scares me too because the thought of ever losing you would mean im losing my everything. Yea this is cheesy as hell but im a pretty cheesy guy🧀 I almost lost you once and that was probably the worst decision in my entire life because i actually thought i lost you forever and that you would never give me a second chance. I know i've made you feel horrible and feel like your not worth anything and it kills me every time i think about it because hurting you or making you feel horrible about yourself is the last thing i would ever wanna do. You make my heart skip a beat whenever im talking to you even if im mad i cant stay mad at you forever. Reading the stuff you write makes me realize how much I've put you through for example your poem i felt the pain and the way you felt in that moment and i probably didn't even realize it at the time in August but i realize it now. I should of stopped making you feel those ways a long time ago but yknow i am a horrible boyfriend so i guess thats where that comes into play. Anyways enough sad and dark side of me. I do not know how many times I have to tell you I love you for you to remember that im actually your boyfriend or to think I actually do love you. Because I DO LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TO MARS AND BACK hehe wow im good. Anyways this whole paragraph is probably unnecessary but i had to distract myself and uhh and idk if ive sent you this poem but here it goes.... Tu sais que tu es amoureux Quand tu ne peux pas t'endormir Parce que la réalité est enfin meilleure Que vos rêves Pour nous deux La maison n'est pas un lieu Mais une personne Et nous sommes enfin à la maison La distance n'est qu'un test Pour voir jusqu'où l'amour peut voyager Distance signifie si peu Quand quelqu'un a tant à dire Je t'aimerai plus que moi Et plus qu'hier Je voudrais pouvoir passer toute ma vie Vous dire combien je vous aime Its french but im sure u can figure it out through google translate. Also ig this is my creative side🤷🏻♂️ I love you and our future fam jam👩🏻🧔🏻🧑🏻👧🏻👧🏻🤪💚💚💚❤️ Me 6:14 AM 11/12/18 1. I didn't wake up last night 2. you're better now, yeah?...3. i said i'd be back, didn't i? 4. Don't pay any mind to the worthless thing or me feeling horrible about myself, its either insecurities, negative thoughts, or whatever else but your fault. 5. I'm still with you, aren't i? I kind of know when's a good time to leave even though it may hurt the other, but there's no time with you. I don't need that time. I know it'll get better at some point, i just gotta wait it out. 6. YOURE NOT A HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND. I just let my thoughts get the best of me. 7. I don't mean to..sometimes forget that you're just another person i'm talking to. If i'm being honest, i sometimes surprise myself when i'm talking to you or thinking about you and think to myself "I wish he'd ask me out already" THATS WHEN I REMEMBER and feel stupid. I still think that there could be someone else and you didn't ask me for that reason. You tell me someone likes you, and i'm gonna jump and say go for her if you like her back. if you don't, see where things go. I'll only do that because i've done so many times for 2 years for someone else. I'd even ask him "what do you think of (blank)?" and he'll get annoyed because even though i mentally knew, it seemed like i was trying to get rid of him, but i wasn't. It wasn't even a test. I couldn't believe he was with me...but we broke up a lot during those 2 years. I was still his friend, and he was my best friend. When we were friends, he'd tell me he likes someone or someone likes him, and i'd try to help him with the girl. Bad habits stayed with me i guess...i'm sorry. 8. Honestly, i don't know how many times either because ^^ 9. i love you too. I can't say to Mars because if we think of the convo again, i seem to really want to stay on earth, but i'll go anywhere you want me to go, whether it's with you or away..10. It seemed familiar, but i love you so freaking much...i'm home? 11. ITS SO ADORABLE, I LOVE ITT💚❤❤💚💚❤ 😭 i want things to go our way so bad for our future to happen
All you want is to be real again. To feel flesh against your flesh and to stop lying with “I’m good.” when you mean “I’m burning.” But the wood burns quickly through the versions of you that you used to be till you don’t recognize yourself. —WICKER PEOPLE