will it hurt again or will this time be different? i hope there's no awkward moments or time for silence. i hope i can be at peace and truly happy. i hope i can look back on the day and let it become a good memory. i want to be the type of person who enjoys company. i don't want to dread. i don't want to regret. i will make it perfect.
93 percent stardust we hace calcium in our bones, iron in our viens, carbon in our souls, and nitrogen in our brains. 93 percent stardust, with souls made of flames, we are all just stars that have people names. n.g
SheDreamer posted a quote
June 28, 2020 2:23am UTC
i. learning to love is a l o n e l y t a s k i am not loved like that "no vacancy" hangs over my chest "we have no room in this ghosttown for you" ii. tempted to trace hot lines of desire streaking my sheets red blistering beneath bluejeans iii. you were made for labor, not for love. i whisper, pulling compression socks over swollen toes. you were made for labor, not for love. i hum, silence nestling herself into my ribcage. not for love. not for love. my mouth is empty. the endless warehouse shelves vibrate from boxes running along the roller tables, tumbling head-over-bubblewrap into a truck driver's delivery route. the bowed steel groans crookedly, promising only for labor. only for labor. iv. i've dreamed of summer romance. how fitting i spend my time in a box taping boxes shut sending taped boxes into larger boxes leave in a wheeled box to come to a box where somebody lives. my body-box is damaged goods where is my sell-by stamp? v. i cannot learn to love. i am only fit for labor. i set the table for three: my body-box, loneliness, and silence. i do not make dinner. best to leave the table unsatiated. -help wanted, apply within (no vacancies) original by shedreamer
i'm scared of everything i have worked for amounting to nothing. in one cold sweep, a wind could take it all. i keep my head down. gravel beneath my knees keeping my senses on high alert. the fear of it all being for nothing, i bury it for a while. i will meet it at a dead end street. when i turn this back on myself and fall to my knees again. i will face this thought more frequently until it is tame. until the pulse beneath my fingers has settled.