Witty Profiles

softballxwin27

1. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   May 1, 2014 5:32pm UTC
   How to take a test:
   cry on the paper and the choice closest to your tear is the answer
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
2. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   May 1, 2014 5:31pm UTC
   I am beach deprived.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
3. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   May 1, 2014 5:29pm UTC
   Am I the only one who tries to find pictures in marble?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
4. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   October 12, 2013 5:21pm UTC
   11:30- I will go to bed.
   3:30- Why am i on Wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
5. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2013 11:37am UTC
   *Joins social network and is never social again*
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
6. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   June 27, 2013 8:19pm UTC
   Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points
7. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   June 27, 2013 8:13pm UTC
   A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 vodkas and shame on you for expecting a punch line.
   This giraffe needs help.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 113 points
8. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   June 26, 2013 2:22pm UTC
   When my mom doesn't shut my door all the way,
   a little part of me dies.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points
9. softballxwin27
   posted a quote
   June 25, 2013 7:33pm UTC
   You're a good example of why
   Some animals eat their young.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
10. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2013 7:23pm UTC
    Today I bought a pack of nuts. On the packet it said "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS."
    Well I'd be a bit disappointed if I opened it and a sock fell out.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points
11. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    April 13, 2013 7:16pm UTC
    I don't want to brag or anything...
    But I can untangle my earbuds in less than 20 minutes without considering suicide more than once.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 168 points
12. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    April 10, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    "Hello, modeling agency-"
    "Yeah, my facebook profile picture has gotten
    26 likes and I think I'm ready to go pro."
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points
13. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    April 8, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn't.
    Emphasize. Your. Point. It. Makes. You. Look. Like.
    You. Have. Asthma.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
14. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    April 8, 2013 5:14pm UTC
    I'm beginning to think
    that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
15. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2013 4:24pm UTC
    If Godzilla had a son,
    his name would be Jesuszilla
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points
16. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    March 30, 2013 10:52am UTC
    If you pick up an ice cube instead of kicking it under the fridge,
    you probably don't belong on witty.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points
17. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2013 12:14pm UTC
    "Good game"
    "Good game"
    "Good game"
    "You suck"
    "Good game"
    "Good game"
    "Good game"
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 37 points
18. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    March 28, 2013 6:49pm UTC
    Wow! The prize in this cereal box is the most realistic looking dead mouse I've ever seen!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
19. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    March 28, 2013 6:46pm UTC
    Personally,
    I feel that Romeo and Juliet could've handled the situation better.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
20. softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2013 3:33pm UTC
    We celebrate Jesus brutally dying on the cross by
    getting a giant bunny rabbit to hide chocolate eggs.
    I can't help but feel there is a massive gap of information somewhere.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 216 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles