Best Lol Quotes This Week

sammy*
posted a quote
April 7, 2013 2:31pm UTC

Okay guys, so...
I'm going to be making a poster.
A poster with everyone's usernames on them.
It's going to take forever but I'm going to do it.
I need to know your usernames though....so,
please just comment anything or your username so
I know to add it to the poster.
When I finish, I will post a picture of it.
I'll give you guys the link in a quote and you can see it finished.
Afterwards, I'm going to hang it in my room :)
Comment so I can start! ♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 994 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 18, 2013 5:44pm UTC

omfG
SO TODAY IN
PHYSICS THIS GIRL’S
PHONE WENT OFF
AND HER RINGTONE
WAS SHINE
BRIGHT LIKE A
DIAMOND AND MY
TEACHER STOOD UP
AND SAID TURN
THAT THING OFF IF I
HEAR IT AGAIN
I WILL PERSONALLY
TRACK DOWN
RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN
TO HER THAT
DIAMONDS DO NOT
SHINE THEY REFLECT
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 977 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 8:38pm UTC

my friend
knows a guy called
Glen Coco and everyone’s
always saying
“You go, Glen Coco”
to him but he’s
never seen Mean Girls so
he just thinks people are
really supportive
format jimmy365

👍 this is good · read the comments · 949 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC

a lot of my life
has been realizing that i would
cross oceans
for people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:56pm UTC

Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-scented shampoos before? Everything was just strawberry, cinnamon, and citrus. Nice, normal things.
Now I pick up a bottle of shampoo and it's all like:
"DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYA MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLIAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOU HAIR SOME VOLUME."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 844 points

kristabff
posted a quote
March 18, 2013 7:50pm UTC

If you're having a bad day
just remember that yesterday i went up to the board in math class and wrote that 15+2=15.2

👍 this is good · read the comments · 835 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:46pm UTC

i just want to go to
a coffee shop
on a rainy day and order something nice and warm
and have an attractive stranger around my age say
“I’ll have one of those too, please”
and for them to smile at me and introduce themselves
and for us to slowly fall in love in a coffee shop
but instead whenever I go to a coffee shop ,
I find teenagers taking pictures
of their orders with their iPhones
and middle aged women wearing
yoga pants..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 812 points

ShortGirlsDoItBetter
posted a quote
March 6, 2013 6:27pm UTC

Too ugly to date attractive people,
Too attractive to date ugly people.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 804 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 4:02pm UTC

i could never cheat in a relationship.
that would require TWO guys finding me attractive. i can barley find one.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 735 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 5, 2013 6:15pm UTC

i feel like i've done enough good stuff that
i now deserve to be stuck in an elevator with a cute boy.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 684 points

Cammie
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 8:06pm UTC

Where can I buy skinny genes?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 688 points

dolph*
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 11:28am UTC

This was posted on Facebook:
bf n gf were siting at a tabel
dey were haeving a conversatein
da gurl sed 2 da boy "bbz will u luv me 4ever?"
boy sed "NO...."
girl was sad she ran away n cryed
she triped over a CHAIR
she was ded.
boy ran over to pic up her body he wisperd in her ear "i ment to say.. ill love u 5ever."
dat meen he luv her moar dan 4ever.
This post made me ill.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 778 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 23, 2013 1:36pm UTC

do you ever get so annoyed
at everything
that you start to get mad at even little things
like a spoon clinking against a bowl
or sounds of people talking?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 647 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 4, 2013 7:32pm UTC

Today,
I got my first instagram hate.
You wanna know what I woke up to?
'kill yourself'
And you know what I did?
I laughed and ate a pretzel

👍 this is good · read the comments · 663 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 2:16pm UTC

making a joke
in front of a ton of people
and having them all crack up
is one if the most beautiful feelings
you’ll ever feel.
Don’t deny it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 622 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 8:47pm UTC

My dad: *Screaming from across the house* ARE YOU WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL?!
Me: No.
Dad: WHAT?!
Me: NO I AM NOT WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL
Dad: *Walks into my room* You don't have to yell, gosh. Why aren't you watching it?
Me: My team didn't make it and I have better things to do
Dad: So what are you watching?
Me: High School Musical
Dad: Aren't you a little old for that?
Me: No, I'm never to old to watch Zac Efron sing and dance.
Me: He's hot.
Dad: Yeah, he is.
Me: Dude, you're old.
Me: And married..
Dad: I'm just kidding. I was hotter than him. I was smokin' hot, I had babes all over me.
Me: Sure.
Dad: Seriously, he's uglaaay
Me: No!
Me: Get out, you are not my father.
Me: Zac Efron please come join me in my room, hot stuff.
Dad:
Me:
Dad: You are so weird and I'm missing the game. Buh-bye. *Walks out*
Dad: *Pokes head back in* I was still smokin' hot. Ask your mom

👍 this is good · read the comments · 627 points

Magic_Eight_Ball
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 1:55pm UTC

If you've ever...
Got your period while wearing white pants,
let us cry together.
Sneezed while you put on mascara,
let us cry together.
Spent 30 minutes on a math problem and found out you copied it down wrong,
let us cry together.
Thought up on ways to start a conversation with your crush and then have them log out right when you start typing,
let us cry together.
Gotten your period on your birthday,
let us cry together.
Not recieved your acceptance letter to Hogwarts,
let us cry together.
Had someone go through and like all of your sixth grade photos,
let us cry together.
Had to pee while tons of people are talking outside your stall,
let us cry together.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 657 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 8:51pm UTC

Normal people with their crush
Them: Okay, I've liked him for about a month now, it's time I tell him!
Me: Day 76,435 and I still am watching from this bush. Soon, I will approach him. Soon.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 602 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:20pm UTC

It's funny how if you get an A
on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 586 points

MissTomlinson
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 8:22pm UTC

If Taylor and Harry were still together and I saw them:
Taylor and Harry: *making out*
Me: *gasp*
Taylor and Harry: *look at me*
Me: You're that guy from that Pepsi commercial and you're all like "and I'm Herreh!" I love that commercial!
Harry: Err, thanks.
Me: And you! You're the one that dated Joe Jonas and Lucas Till!
Taylor: *nods and smiles*
Me: And Taylor Lautner! Oh, and John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal!!
Taylor: *stands there awkwardly*
Me: Oh! And that guy from Glee, umm, Cory Montieth! OHH and Zac Efron! And Eddie Redmayne!
Taylor: Uh...
Me: Oh, and I can't forget Connor Kennedy!! ...Dang, that's a lot of guys... *looks at Harry* Good luck, bro.
Not meant to offend either swifties or directioners. just thought it was funny. Follow me and I'll follow back, duh.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 654 points

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Best Lol Quotes This Week