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glitter162*

Status: I'm back to make you laugh.

Member Since: 18 Nov 2012 10:31pm

Last Seen: 31 Dec 2014 07:13pm

Location: Out of your league. Nah, I'm really not.

Gender: F

user id: 339145

384 Quotes
7,245 Favorites
37 Following
737 Followers
412 Comment Points
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1dfan
  1. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2014 5:07pm EST
    I like how Iggy is in
    the fast lane from LA to Tokyo even though there is a gigantic f/cking ocean in between

  2. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2014 5:06pm EST
    Me: *checks phone*
    Me: Guys please I can't answer all 0 messages at once

  3. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2014 5:04pm EST
    There should be an emoji
    keyboard for computers

  4. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2014 5:02pm EST
    When I was little,
    I thought that Jesus was a chicken strip because in one Christmas song it said he was tender and mild. You know what else is tender and mild? A chicken strip.

  5. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2014 4:59pm EST
    In my high school English
    class we read a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg and then while she was waiting for the cops to come she cooked it and then fed it to them so the murder weapon was gone. I aspire to be that woman.

  6. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2014 6:09pm EST
    People are scared to
    "double text" but I literally send 7 paragraphs in a row

  7. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2014 6:08pm EST
    Me in any situation:
    I think I'm coming off as annoying

  8. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2014 6:07pm EST
    When little kids scream
    I want to look them in the eye and scream 10 times louder to show them who's boss

  9. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2014 6:05pm EST
    One time in first grade
    I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit

  10. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2014 6:00pm EST
    There’s nothing more
    irritating than songs that you don't like but are catchy

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2014 5:23pm EST
    In just a few days,
    2030 will be as far away as 2000

  12. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2014 5:21pm EST
    *planet explodes*
    *removes one earbud*
    Me: What

  13. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2014 4:57pm EST
    Officer: Ma'am, how fast were you going?
    Me: Well, my Snapchat selfie says 65 mph...
    Officer: omg add me

  14. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2014 4:54pm EST
    Moms be like:
    THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LOAD THE DISHWASHER

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2014 11:23pm EST
    Unbelievable... 363 days until Christmas,
    and people already have their lights up.

  16. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2014 7:04pm EST
    Dear Witty,
    You don't remember me. Don't deny it- you don't, and I don't feel bad. I wrote quotes awhile back... and they became pretty popular (what can I say, they were funny). They're still on my Profile if you want to read them. Notice how they'd get 100+ likes. Remember that Witty? Don't deny it, it's hard to remember. That makes you feel bad. Now, I won't be the downer who whines about no longer getting enough likes, because there are so few people still committed to this website that saying that would be an insufficient way of getting my point across. Think about this: does this lack of publicity mean that the youth of today has been consumed by the paradigm of the ignorant? The people that long to Facebook and watch Vine videos instead of, say, saving for college, reading books and writing quotes? I can't stop that. I can't help that. I just died. On Witty at least- my little double has been killed, hauled out, and buried six feet under. My once-invincible archive in cyberspace has been swept clean and then destroyed. I shouldn't even be writing this, but here I am, one last time.
    Do my soul a favor: Read- increase your knowledge of every known thing on the universe. Remember me, the girl that made you laugh, as I sign of Witty forever now. My life will go on, you'll probably cease to remember me.
    Don't deny it, you will. And I don't feel bad.
    Sincerely,
    glitter162
    (The girl that will someday accomplish something amazing)

  17. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2013 2:10pm EST
    Okay, so we have no school today because of the snow, and long
    story short I love life

  18. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2013 2:08pm EST
    *Christmas Day*
    Me: *looks in stocking*
    Me: *finds coal*
    Me: Yes! Just what I wanted
    Me: *throws the universe off balance*

  19. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2013 2:06pm EST
    Me: *about to brush my teeth*
    Me: *wets toothbrush*
    Me: *puts toothbrush into mouth*
    Me: *realizes I used hot water instead of cold*
    Me: *about to brush my teeth*
    Me: *puts toothbrush in mouth*
    Me: *realizes I forgot to wet the toothbrush*
    Me: wtf

  20. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2013 4:39pm EST
    Shoutout to Witty for being the only website that doesn't
    bring up my autocorrect when I type it into the search bar.

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