glitter162*

Status: I'm back to make you laugh.

Member Since: 18 Nov 2012 10:31pm

Last Seen: 16 Mar 2023 02:27am

Location: Out of your league. Nah, I'm really not.

Gender: F

user id: 339145

384 Quotes
7,239 Favorites
37 Following
738 Followers
410 Comment Points
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1dfan

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 30, 2014 5:07pm UTC

I like how Iggy is in
the fast lane from LA to Tokyo even though there is a gigantic f/cking ocean in between

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 30, 2014 5:06pm UTC

Me: *checks phone*
Me: Guys please I can't answer all 0 messages at once

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 30, 2014 5:04pm UTC

There should be an emoji
keyboard for computers

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 30, 2014 5:02pm UTC

When I was little,
I thought that Jesus was a chicken strip because in one Christmas song it said he was tender and mild. You know what else is tender and mild? A chicken strip.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 30, 2014 4:59pm UTC

In my high school English
class we read a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg and then while she was waiting for the cops to come she cooked it and then fed it to them so the murder weapon was gone. I aspire to be that woman.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 29, 2014 6:09pm UTC

People are scared to
"double text" but I literally send 7 paragraphs in a row

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 29, 2014 6:08pm UTC

Me in any situation:
I think I'm coming off as annoying

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 29, 2014 6:07pm UTC

When little kids scream
I want to look them in the eye and scream 10 times louder to show them who's boss

👍 this is good · read the comments · 22 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 29, 2014 6:05pm UTC

One time in first grade
I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit

👍 this is good · read the comments · 19 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 29, 2014 6:00pm UTC

There’s nothing more
irritating than songs that you don't like but are catchy

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 28, 2014 5:23pm UTC

In just a few days,
2030 will be as far away as 2000

👍 this is good · read the comments · 21 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 28, 2014 5:21pm UTC

*planet explodes*
*removes one earbud*
Me: What

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 28, 2014 4:57pm UTC

Officer: Ma'am, how fast were you going?
Me: Well, my Snapchat selfie says 65 mph...
Officer: omg add me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 28, 2014 4:54pm UTC

Moms be like:
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LOAD THE DISHWASHER

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 27, 2014 11:23pm UTC

Unbelievable... 363 days until Christmas,
and people already have their lights up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 26, 2014 7:04pm UTC

Dear Witty,
You don't remember me. Don't deny it- you don't, and I don't feel bad. I wrote quotes awhile back... and they became pretty popular (what can I say, they were funny). They're still on my Profile if you want to read them. Notice how they'd get 100+ likes. Remember that Witty? Don't deny it, it's hard to remember. That makes you feel bad. Now, I won't be the downer who whines about no longer getting enough likes, because there are so few people still committed to this website that saying that would be an insufficient way of getting my point across. Think about this: does this lack of publicity mean that the youth of today has been consumed by the paradigm of the ignorant? The people that long to Facebook and watch Vine videos instead of, say, saving for college, reading books and writing quotes? I can't stop that. I can't help that. I just died. On Witty at least- my little double has been killed, hauled out, and buried six feet under. My once-invincible archive in cyberspace has been swept clean and then destroyed. I shouldn't even be writing this, but here I am, one last time.
Do my soul a favor: Read- increase your knowledge of every known thing on the universe. Remember me, the girl that made you laugh, as I sign of Witty forever now. My life will go on, you'll probably cease to remember me.
Don't deny it, you will. And I don't feel bad.
Sincerely,
glitter162
(The girl that will someday accomplish something amazing)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 9, 2013 2:10pm UTC

Okay, so we have no school today because of the snow, and long
story short I love life

👍 this is good · read the comments · 32 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 9, 2013 2:08pm UTC

*Christmas Day*
Me: *looks in stocking*
Me: *finds coal*
Me: Yes! Just what I wanted
Me: *throws the universe off balance*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 67 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
December 9, 2013 2:06pm UTC

Me: *about to brush my teeth*
Me: *wets toothbrush*
Me: *puts toothbrush into mouth*
Me: *realizes I used hot water instead of cold*
Me: *about to brush my teeth*
Me: *puts toothbrush in mouth*
Me: *realizes I forgot to wet the toothbrush*
Me: wtf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
November 22, 2013 4:39pm UTC

Shoutout to Witty for being the only website that doesn't
bring up my autocorrect when I type it into the search bar.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 75 points

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glitter162*