Cookie Quotes

Little.Cookie.Monster*
posted a quote
December 22, 2014 7:37am UTC

Sometimes me thinks:
"What is a friend?"
and then me say:
"Friend is someone to share the last cookie with."
-The Cookie Monster

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

Goose
posted a quote
November 3, 2014 11:16am UTC

I ate a healthy breakfast this morning!....so I rewarded myself with a cookie.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
September 13, 2014 2:43pm UTC

Me: This is my fourth cookie
James: Who broke up with you??

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

polaroidmgc*
posted a quote
June 21, 2014 11:33pm UTC

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell 'PLOT TWIST' and move on.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

Crazy girl*
posted a quote
May 5, 2014 3:41pm UTC

Don't believe everything a fortune cookie tells you just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

Crazy girl*
posted a quote
May 5, 2014 3:31pm UTC

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away, An entire jar a day brings it back.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

iphone_bacon
posted a quote
March 9, 2014 2:39pm UTC

I Love you
I really do
I love even when your blue
I love you when your gooey
I love you when your soft
I love when your chocaltey.
Cookie do you love me too-ity

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

ForWhomTheBellTolls*
posted a quote
March 8, 2014 5:42pm UTC

Anyone else ever notice. That Fortune Cookies have really bad grammar..?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

DunGoofed
posted a quote
November 29, 2013 12:12am UTC

I said I cant eat anything else after dinner. All of a sudden there was apple pie, pecan pie, ice cream, cookies, whipped cream, and chocolate in my mouth.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

EmmaKitty
posted a quote
November 17, 2013 4:45pm UTC

I got this in a fortune cookie
Next time, get the shrimp

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

Breeze
posted a quote
October 31, 2013 6:39pm UTC

I'm eating a cookie.
This cookie is going to give me diabetes.
That sounds absolutely amazing. No joke.
It's a peanut butter cookie with peanuts and Reeses in them.
*jealous*
Format by Breeze

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

AllieSmith7
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 1:35pm UTC

Chocolate cookies at lunch are the best!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

DonggaBieber
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 10:36am UTC

COOKIES and OROES
Are two very different things.
TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

luvLex
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 12:21pm UTC

I've got a cookie clicker addiction.. It proves I have too much free time </3 Haha(:
(*Never heard of it?*)
http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points

lovenfun1226
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 6:47pm UTC

COOKIE CLICKER
MOST ADDICTIVE GAME EVER
START PLAYING IT
COMMENT ON MY PROFILE WHAT YOU THINK

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1 point

shorisunbird092
posted a quote
August 3, 2013 8:46pm UTC

Let us take a moment to remember the death of cookies that I may or may not have indirectly caused because they fell on the ground. May they rest in peace.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

Onix*
posted a quote
July 12, 2013 2:40pm UTC

Sometimes me think:What is a friend?
And then me say:A friend is someone to share your last cookie with.
~Cookie Monster

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point

converse_girl17
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 11:47am UTC

I got two fortunes in my cookie.
What does this mean??

👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points

theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 9:39am UTC

Science Class.
Teacher (let's call her Mrs. K): What's that smell?
Everyone else: Oh yeah, what IS that smell? It smells weird.....
Student (let's call him Ethan): Oh, sorry, Coach K. I have poop on my shoe.
Mrs. K: Poop on your shoe?
Ethan: Oh yeah, so today my bus missed my stop and then I was like "Oh, shoot!" And then I had to run across like three backyards and then I stepped in a pile of poop and then I was like "Oh, SHOOT!" and then when I went to school in General Music (first period) my shoe was stinking like poop. And then-
Ethan's friend (Let's call him Will): There's a piece of poop stuck on his shoe!
Everyone: Eeee-
Ethan: No, it's more like a smudge, see? *lifts shoe up so that everyone can see*
Mrs. K: Okay, go to the bathroom and wash it off.
*Ethan leaves, leaving bits of poop on the floor*
Everyone: Why does Ethan always get to miss class?
Mrs. K: Okay, class! Back to work! *gets a bottle of Febreeze and starts spraying it everywhere*
.....
(Lesson on Plate Tectonics)
Mrs. K: And so, the plates-
Ethan: *opens door* Hi Mrs. K!
Mrs. K: ...Why are you holding a cookie?
Ethan: Oh yeah, so then I was in the bathroom and then I didn't have paper towels so I was hitting my shoe against the trash can, and then this eighth grade teacher was walking by.
Ethan: And then she heard me and then she was like,"You are supposed to be in class, young man! Come out right now!"
Ethan: And then I walked out and I was like,"I'm sorry, but there's poop on my shoe." Ethan: And then she was like,"Oh, would you like some paper towels?"
Ethan: And I was like,"Yes, please," so then she went and got paper towels and when she came back she gave me a cookie because it looked like I was having a bad day.
Everyone:.....
Will: So. Is it from Starbucks?
True Story.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

StormForceHeart
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 11:22am UTC

plot twist: someone actually admits to stealing the cookie

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Witty Profiles

Cookie Quotes