Science Class.
Teacher (let's call her Mrs. K): What's that smell?
Everyone else: Oh yeah, what IS that smell? It smells weird.....
Student (let's call him Ethan): Oh, sorry, Coach K. I have poop on my shoe.
Mrs. K: Poop on your shoe?
Ethan: Oh yeah, so today my bus missed my stop and then I was like "Oh, shoot!" And then I had to run across like three backyards and then I stepped in a pile of poop and then I was like "Oh, SHOOT!" and then when I went to school in General Music (first period) my shoe was stinking like poop. And then-
Ethan's friend (Let's call him Will): There's a piece of poop stuck on his shoe!
Everyone: Eeee-
Ethan: No, it's more like a smudge, see? *lifts shoe up so that everyone can see*
Mrs. K: Okay, go to the bathroom and wash it off.
*Ethan leaves, leaving bits of poop on the floor*
Everyone: Why does Ethan always get to miss class?
Mrs. K: Okay, class! Back to work! *gets a bottle of Febreeze and starts spraying it everywhere*
.....
(Lesson on Plate Tectonics)
Mrs. K: And so, the plates-
Ethan: *opens door* Hi Mrs. K!
Mrs. K: ...Why are you holding a cookie?
Ethan: Oh yeah, so then I was in the bathroom and then I didn't have paper towels so I was hitting my shoe against the trash can, and then this eighth grade teacher was walking by.
Ethan: And then she heard me and then she was like,"You are supposed to be in class, young man! Come out right now!"
Ethan: And then I walked out and I was like,"I'm sorry, but there's poop on my shoe." Ethan: And then she was like,"Oh, would you like some paper towels?"
Ethan: And I was like,"Yes, please," so then she went and got paper towels and when she came back she gave me a cookie because it looked like I was having a bad day.
Everyone:.....
Will: So. Is it from Starbucks?
True Story.