Puns Quotes

*VA VA VOOM*
posted a quote
June 24, 2013 4:33pm UTC

Friend:What did the grape say when it was crushed?
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Friend:*Burst into laughter*
Friend:Get it?It's hilarious!
Me:Was that a fu.ckin pun?

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 11:49pm UTC

in science our teacher showed us an animation of a cartoon John Travolta rubbing his foot on the carpet and then electrocuting himself on a doorhandle and it was called "John Travoltage"

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crazyshaelie
posted a quote
June 9, 2013 6:31pm UTC

I'm going to cybear bully you with bear puns.
I'm going to do it with my... bear hands.
Things are going to get... grizzly.
You'll probably be pretty... embearrased.
I'll make you lose your.... bearings.
You're going to go... bearzerk.
There's not way to be... prebeared.

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reganshea
posted a quote
May 24, 2013 7:38pm UTC

~ me walking to my room
Mom: Where are you going?
Me: Narnia
Mom: Where's that?
Me: There's just no point....

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steffykins
posted a quote
May 20, 2013 5:25pm UTC

Punography to brighten your day ♥
►I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
►When chemists die, they barium.
►Broken pencils are pointless.
►A dyslexic man runs into a bra.
►PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
►How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
►When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
►I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.
►I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
►Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
►Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

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Livy*
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:19pm UTC

I bet when cheetahs race
and one of them cheats, the other goes,
"Man, you are such a cheetah!"
and they laugh and eat a zebra or whatever.
♥

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Vinita*
posted a quote
May 4, 2013 3:47pm UTC

me:that's how i roll
me:like a cinnamon roll
me:like a sushi roll
me:like a tire
me:like a circle thingy

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sportynerdfreak
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 11:29am UTC

can feburary march? no but april may.
where do you drown a hipster? in the mainstream.
what did the fish sy when it ran into a wall? dam.
mexican jokes and black jokes and black jokes are prettyuch the same. once youve heard juan youve heard jamal.
what do you call someone with no body and no nose? nobody knows
when i found out my toaster wasnt waterproof i was shocked.
what does a mermaid wear in math class. aldae-bra
what do you call an aligator in a vest? an investagater

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funkyoctopus121
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 10:55pm UTC

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

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Livy*
posted a quote
April 24, 2013 4:51pm UTC

I am going to go stand outside.
if anyone asks, tell them I am outstanding
♥

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pioneer
posted a quote
March 30, 2013 8:51pm UTC

why dont yu-gi-oh away

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*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
March 27, 2013 7:27pm UTC

Mercury: I don't like the sun!
Venus: I agree! He's so self-centered!
Mars: He thinks he's such a star!
Jupiter: I know, he thinks everything revolves around him.
Earth: He's soo hot though!
Neptune: I wouldn't know, we aren't very close.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
March 14, 2013 7:11pm UTC

I had a dog
I named him Stay
I said: "Come here, Stay!"
He's insane now.

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 5:21pm UTC

My Friend Was Trying To Write With a Broken Pencil
I told her it was pointless.

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 5:12pm UTC

Friend: I kind of threw a muffin at my dad this morning and it stuck to his stomach.
Me: So you gave him a muffin top?
Friend: What?
Me: What?
Still want to know how she "accidentally" threw a muffin at her father....

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ToriRox16
posted a quote
March 7, 2013 10:18pm UTC

To Do
1. Buy a ship.
2. Name it Relation.
3. Tell everyone you have a relationship.

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Purplepandas
posted a quote
March 5, 2013 9:39pm UTC

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one.
He's never gonna give you Up.
:)

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ScreamingBananas1234

posted a quote
February 27, 2013 9:45pm UTC

I was gonna make a tree joke....
but I better leaf it alone for now...

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 11:58am UTC

The other day, a woman got wooden breast implants.
A funny punchline would be good here,
wooden t i t?

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 6:40pm UTC

Father: How were your test scores, son?
Me: Underwater.
Father: What does that mean?
Me: Below "C" level.
Me: HA
Me: HAHAHA
Dad: HA.
Dad: HAHAHA
Dad: You're grounded.

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