Puns Quotes

Witty-Throwbacks*
posted a quote
November 13, 2014 4:12pm UTC

A white m&m comes into a room with candy
friends.
White m&m: ~engages
conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white
m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate
m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE
m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST
ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

thenchantedawn
posted a quote
November 8, 2014 11:58pm UTC

I'm not a fan of fragrant candles... it doesn't really make scents.

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revolutionary*
posted a quote
October 30, 2014 8:01pm UTC

Shoutout to librarians
oh sorry

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xapa
posted a quote
June 8, 2014 3:38am UTC

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
7. Marry them.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

AtmosFEAR
posted a quote
June 7, 2014 8:50am UTC

i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame

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Witty-Throwbacks*
posted a quote
May 30, 2014 7:27pm UTC

"Ahh, you're so hot!"
I whispered to a
plate of food I pulled
out of the microwave.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

Lozza*
posted a quote
April 22, 2014 3:07am UTC

WHEN PETER PAN PUNCHES THEY NEVERLAND HAHAHAHAHAHA :)

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Lozza*
posted a quote
April 22, 2014 3:00am UTC

WHEN PETER PAN PUNCHES THEY NEVERLAND HAHAHAHAHAHA :)

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Roya*
posted a quote
April 18, 2014 8:52pm UTC

Insert dirty Pokemon puns below:

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britany*
posted a quote
April 8, 2014 10:25pm UTC

seven days without a pun makes one weak

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Gal_in_Wonderland

posted a quote
April 2, 2014 4:20pm UTC

Bio Teacher: The cells themselves are just what holds everything in....
Me: *looks to best friend* The cells them-CELL-ves huh~? Haha I love puns XD

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PrimarilyParamore*
posted a quote
March 26, 2014 9:39pm UTC

Wendy,
We can
get away
I promise
if you're
with me,
Say the
word and
I'll find
a way
I can
be your
Lost Boy
Your
Last Chance
You're "Everything
Better Plan"
Oh,
Somewhere in Neverland!
-All Time Low
"Somewhere in Neverland"|Don't Panic:It's Longer Now!
Nmf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

appleloop*
posted a quote
February 10, 2014 10:16pm UTC

You're Sodium cute.

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Bec*
posted a quote
January 10, 2014 10:01pm UTC

What did one glass of water say to the other?
Water you doing.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
January 7, 2014 3:00pm UTC

I don't trust people who do acupuncture
They're all backstabbers

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*trop chic*
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 7:03pm UTC

When chemist die, they barium.
HAHAHA THAT PUN

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

NeverFadingBeauty*
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 10:55pm UTC

News Person1: Today's News, a man was struck by lighting and lived.
News Person 2: That must have been a shocking experience. *laughs*
Person 1: I bet he wanted to bolt, huh? *laughs as well*
Person 2: You know what they always say about these things, they spark your interest.
Person 1: Must have been electrifying.
Person 2: I wonder when the idea struck him?
Person 1: Lighting fast.
Me: They would so go to hell if there was one -.-

👍 this is good · read the comments · 26 points

PrimarilyParamore*
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 5:51pm UTC

I take
my puns
like Harry
Potter's Godfather:
Sirius.
- Troye Sivan
"Punny Story"
Format:SecretlyBrokenAndSilentlyHoping

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

brush_your_teeth
posted a quote
December 1, 2013 5:52am UTC

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble.
You have my Word.

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NeverFadingBeauty*
posted a quote
November 19, 2013 3:27pm UTC

Did you guys hear? The energizer bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery.

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