LandonIsWitty

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LandonIsWitty

Status: I just really want to see monsters university idk

Member Since: 18 Jun 2012 01:41pm

Last Seen: 30 Dec 2013 12:50am

Location: My house. Always.

Gender: M

user id: 309705

286 Quotes
792 Favorites
335 Following
1,862 Followers
13 Comment Points
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This is unimportant. Go read my quotes. Peace out girl scout.

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
December 30, 2013 1:04am UTC

*Touches ur butt*
Sorry it was an assident

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
December 30, 2013 1:01am UTC

Does flipping out and
jumping to conclusions
count as exercise

👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
December 30, 2013 12:52am UTC

were you the first person on earth?cause aDAMN

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 10, 2013 11:42am UTC

It doesn't matter how you do it.
your parents will still find their baby dead.
your friends will still blame themselves.
your siblings will still cry every night
your pain may have ended,
but for everyone you love?
It's just the beginning.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 91 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 10:17pm UTC

Wanna hear a couple jokes?
Internet explorer.
18+ warnings.
middle school relationships.
my social life.
miley cyrus' new music video.
people who can't distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'.
ugly cats.
what did the giraffe say to human? nothing, giraffes can't talk.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 10:07pm UTC

A wittian walks into a bar
Just kidding, wittians don't even leave their rooms.
***Alternate ending***
A wittian walks into a bar
Wittian: Ow.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 86 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 10:03pm UTC

Me: *Walks into living room*
Sister: Watcha drinkin?
Me: The blood of my unfollowers
Her: What
Me What

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 37 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 9:52pm UTC

How stating your opinion should be:
Person 1: Hey I don't really like this thing
Person 2: I respect your opinion, but I actually think it's pretty great
Person 1: Okay
Person 2: Yeah
How stating your opinion really is:
Person 1: Hey I don't really like this thing
Person 2: I'm sorry, no offense, but YOUR OPINION IS WRONG AND MINE IS RIGHT *blah blah blah* YOU'RE A STUPID JUDGEMENTA;L C.NT *blah blah* GO KILL YOURSELF A//HOLE *blah blah blah* CURSES ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS AND YOUR GOAT AND YOUR ANCESTOR'S GOAT AND YOUR GOAT'S ANCESTORS *hisssssss*
Person 1: .....

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 96 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 30, 2013 10:23pm UTC

why fall in love when you can fall in lava and feel the same way?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 30, 2013 10:13pm UTC

some people look so adorable when they kiss.
and then other people are just like FACE SMASH.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 1:05am UTC

so my friend named her cat quesadilla and then her and her mother had a conversation that went sort of like this:
mom: where is nacho?
friend: his name is quesadilla
mom: well i like nacho
friend: WHY wont you call him by his name?
mom: because...
mom: because...
mom: because...
mom: because he's NACHO KITTY!
mom: *laughs hysterically*
mom: OHHHHHH
friend: *grabs quesadilla and runs*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 65 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 10:03am UTC

Me: *violently scratches mosquito bite*
Me: IT FEELS SO GOOD BUT YANNO IT HURTS

👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 9:32am UTC

& i never thought i'd miss seeing:
"Too many witty people are doing witty things."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 9:29am UTC

Me: *says sarcastic things*
Me: *never leaves room*
Me: *refuses to talk to people*
Me: *eats 24/7*
Me: *wonders why i dont have friends*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 83 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 8:20am UTC

Toilet at a normal time: whooooosh
Toilet at some ungodly time in the middle of the night: WHOOSH NIAGARA F//CKING FALLS WHOOSH WHOOSH MOTHAF//CKA

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 79 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 8:14am UTC

Why cry because roses have thorns,
When you could s m i l e because thorns have roses?
coded by landoniswitty
please don't remove
hiss, grr

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 42 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:44pm UTC

I have a quote on the first page of the top quotes. It has 94 favorites.
This is not exciting... It honestly disgusts me.
94.
94.
94.
12 months ago, 94 favorites might put you on the top 24 hours.
UGH.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:33pm UTC

Here's to the 90's babies, with no baby
& here's to all of the 90's babies who are amazing moms and dads♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 11:10pm UTC

Thousands of people left witty to get *gasp* social lives (shudder) and I'm here wondering if they feel guilty or miss us at all.
my format (hiss, grr)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 34 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 10:55pm UTC

A SHORT HORROR STORY:
Unable to access the network
The connection to wittyprofiles.com was interrupted by a change in the network connection.
Here are some suggestions:
Reload this webpage later.
Check your Internet connection. Restart any router, modem, or other network devices you may be using.
Error 21 (net::ERR_NETWORK_CHANGED): A network change was detected.
*shiver, shiver*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points