Best Sneeze Quotes Today

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 4:12pm UTC

Pollen: *accidentally enters my body*
Immune System: What the hell is that?
Pollen: Hey, sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl--
Immune System: We're under attack!
Pollen: What?! No! We just got lo--
Immune System: Open the floodgates!
Pollen: The what?
Mucas Membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?
Immune System: All of them.
Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't...oh sh--
*dramatic music*
Me: *sneezes*

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softballxwin27
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 11:14am UTC

Dear nose,
If you're going to sneeze, please sneeze.
Sincerely- stood there looking like I've been hit by a shovel.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 5:41pm UTC

Satan: *sneezes*
Satan: DON'T BLESS ME.
Satan: NO.

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SLERP
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 9:56pm UTC

I hate when my body is like
"time to sneeze!"
a.n.d. t.h.e.n
i t ' s a l l l i k e
"LOL JK"

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dolph*
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 12:26pm UTC

next time you sneeze and someone says “bless you” stare them down with a very dirty look
and coldly reply “dont u dare force ur religion on me son”

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iLL-Legal Alien👽*
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 7:45pm UTC

If you forget to say "Pika" before you sneeze ;
Remember you can say "bacca"
afterwards.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
July 21, 2013 6:41pm UTC

Me: *sneezes*
Everyone:
Someone else: *sneezes*
Teacher: Bless you
Students: Bless you
Principal: Bless you
Class Hamster: Bless you
Jesus: Bless you
God: Bless you
Tupac: Bless you

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gcontento
posted a quote
August 31, 2013 10:04pm UTC

i sneeze in class:
*nothing*
someone else sneezes in class:
student: bless you
teacher: bless you
janitor: bless you
principal: bless you
intercom: bless you
class pet: bless you
chuck norris: bless you
wittyprofiles.com/author/gcontento

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Bec*

posted a quote
March 7, 2013 9:40pm UTC

Imagine this: You're home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers "bless you" and hangs up.

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ASongOfIceAndDirewolves*
posted a quote
June 9, 2013 11:28am UTC

Don't expect a "bless you" after your 5th sneeze. Get that sh/t under control.

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capsized*
posted a quote
January 17, 2014 1:22am UTC

today in class someone sneezed & my teacher told them to shut up

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of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 12:48pm UTC

i don't know if this is a cold or allergies but i've sneezed more in the
past hour than i have in the past three months

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Picklypickles*
posted a quote
May 21, 2013 1:11pm UTC

I have two types of sneezes:
The fairy princess sneeze and the death metal sneeze.

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DreamLikeReality
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 4:46pm UTC

Today in school someone tripped over a chair leg and I said "Bless you"... -.-

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BeRecklessBeBrave
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 11:50pm UTC

I either sneeze
like a kitten
or I sneeze like a horse
There is no in between

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 4:59pm UTC

Person: *sneezes*
Me: Bless you.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY "THANK YOU" YOU UNGRATEFUL TWIT

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

SalemSoto
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 3:09am UTC

Do not expect a 'bless you' after your 5th
sneeze, get that sh*t under control.

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TheEscapeArtist
posted a quote
October 13, 2013 12:22pm UTC

I wish I could see Voldemort sneeze.

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jstallons
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 6:38pm UTC

Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence* Popular person: *sneeze* Class: GOD BLESS YOU, LORD JESUS LET GOD PROTECT YOU FROM THAT SNEEZE. AMEN!

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PotatoSalad
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 9:47pm UTC

To Do List
- Wear a shirt that says life. Hand out lemons on the street.
- Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
- Become a teacher. Make every test answer “C” and enjoy.
- Wait until someone’s about to sneeze. Before they do loudly scream “PIKA PIKAAA!”
- Get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!”
-YAH MOM.
..........
(Jokes.)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Witty Profiles

Best Sneeze Quotes Today