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Best Microwave Quotes Today

  1. Christopher Robin* Christopher Robin*
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 7:34pm UTC
    I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it makes cracking and exploding noises then its cold, like why you gotta play me like that?

  2. greyskies greyskies
    posted a quote
    March 9, 2013 5:13pm UTC
    Microwave: Here, have this hot plate.
    Microwave: It would be a shame if
    Microwave: the food
    Microwave: is still
    Microwave: frozen.

  3. CrisParadis CrisParadis
    posted a quote
    February 1, 2013 3:56pm UTC
    I like opening the microwave with one second left
    because it makes me feel like James Bond defusing a nuclear bomb.

  4. elephants_are_cool* elephants_are_cool*
    posted a quote
    August 31, 2013 10:49pm UTC
    And does anyone else,
    microwave ice cream when it gets too hard to scoop out?

  5. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    April 8, 2013 9:55pm UTC
    When I found out that my microwave
    wasn't waterproof,
    I was shocked.

  6. *crybaby* *crybaby*
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2014 2:02am UTC
    do you ever cook something in the microwave but it's still really cold in the middle
    and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy
    is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callouse and casual destruction

  7. Witty-Throwbacks* Witty-Throwbacks*
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2014 7:27pm UTC
    "Ahh, you're so hot!"
    I whispered to a
    plate of food I pulled
    out of the microwave.

  8. RingoStar RingoStar
    posted a quote
    April 2, 2013 8:10pm UTC
    when i said nuke the chinese,
    i meant put the take out in the microwave.

  9. Miluiel* Miluiel*
    posted a quote
    December 10, 2013 7:44pm UTC
    I've always wondered what would happen
    if I put popcorn in the microwave with the wrong side up
    NMF

  10. capsized* capsized*
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2013 2:15pm UTC
    do you ever cook something in the microwave but it’s still really cold in the middle and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callous and casual destruction

  11. *♥︎Lady Ave♥︎* *♥︎Lady Ave♥︎*
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2014 1:27pm UTC
    f o r m a t | s k a t e r r u l e s 2 3 *KEEP CREDIT*
    Me: Hey mum what if one day we were cooking something in the microwave and it like... spit it out and started crawling everywhere and attacked us like off G-Force?
    Mum:...

  12. skylarlovestrains skylarlovestrains
    posted a quote
    March 1, 2013 12:20pm UTC
    Roses are red
    My name is Dave
    This poem makes to sense
    Microwave <3

  13. juliarose417 juliarose417
    posted a quote
    September 10, 2013 3:25pm UTC
    Just opened my microwave when it hit zero but it didn't beep
    My life is complete

  14. ecawesomeness ecawesomeness
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 10:52am UTC
    me: *walks downstairs*
    me: *stares at microwave in shock*
    me: mom...
    me: why is our microwave gray...
    me: our microwave was black...
    me: when did we get a new microwave?
    mom: 2 years ago, honey
    mom: around the time you started staying in your room all day?

  15. smilingsadly1 smilingsadly1
    posted a quote
    March 23, 2013 9:05am UTC
    Roses are red
    My name is Dave
    This poem makes no sense
    Microwave

  16. bone bone
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2013 12:28am UTC
    Microwaving your ice cream because it's too hard to scoop.

  17. Dishonored* Dishonored*
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2013 9:20pm UTC
    I just tried to put a 2-liter
    of soda into the microwave
    (instead of the fridge),
    I was soooooo confused
    when it wouldn't fit inside.

  18. epiccookies epiccookies
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2013 5:48pm UTC
    Dear microwave,
    Why is my plate so hot and food so cold?
    Sincerely, confused.

  19. DakkyDukky DakkyDukky
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2013 7:19am UTC
    I wish my microwave played "The Final Countdown" for the last 30 seconds

  20. Elli_unicornpuke Elli_unicornpuke
    posted a quote
    June 2, 2013 10:05am UTC
    “you’re so hot”
    i whispered as i took my plate of food out of the microwave

:)

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