Best Jobs Quotes Today

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 8:46pm UTC

Half the things we learn in school will never help us in real life.
*At interview in 5 years*
Interviewer: You are perfect for this job!
You: Thanks!
Interviewer: But wait! There's one more question!
You: Yes?
Interviewer: Do you know how to calculate dewpoint?
You: ....

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Steve*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 4:03pm UTC

plain white t-shirt in girls section: Extra Slimming, Soft Cotton, Great for Layering Under $300 Jacket, Lose 10 Pounds When You Put It On, Slims Shoulders, Slims Waist, Slims Neck, Slims Hips, $24.99
plain white t-shirt in boys section: Buy 10 for $0.99
plain white t’s: hey there delilah whats it like in new york city

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 73 points

Steve*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 4:00pm UTC

On the internet: Ugh I hate people so much
Applying for a job: I love working with people and I’m very sociable

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 23, 2013 4:43pm UTC

i have this huge problem where
i want to go out and but all the clothes i want but i have absolutely no money to buy it with

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dolph*
posted a quote
August 13, 2013 6:42pm UTC

friend: i wish i could get payed to sit on eggs
me: i wish i could get payed to sit on c'ock
friend: i think that's prost'itution

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capsized*
posted a quote
September 11, 2013 7:45pm UTC

why is it that were always told not to get tattoos at a young age because we “will regret it later on” when we are basically told to choose a career path by age 18? i’d rather be 40 years old with a tattoo that meant something to me when i was young than be 40 years old not wanting to get out of bed to go to a job that i hate because i was forced to decide on a career in my teens

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glitter162*
posted a quote
May 5, 2013 6:00pm UTC

"Who are you, and how did you
get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith and... I'm a locksmith..."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points

Ash_leigh*
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 2:58pm UTC

Job appilcations are stupid.
Application: Why do you want to work for us?
Me: Well I've always had a passion for frozen yogurt...
Me: IM BROKE

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

Chris*
posted a quote
October 27, 2013 8:20pm UTC

I was applying for jobs and the questions like "I never get angry" or "I wait and think about what I'm going to say before I say it" really throw me off because let's face it, I'm a huge b.tch.

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DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 15, 2013 11:52am UTC

me: can I pay for college with my tears?

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*Freedom*
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 11:19am UTC

For some unknown reason
I thought the Steve directing this site was Steve Jobs.
So when Steve Jobs died, I was like,
''The f*ck is goin' on right now.''

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pikachu-farts*
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 5:42pm UTC

"Anyway, I really need this job,
which means I can't do things like yell or pin my stupid name tag upside down or wear jeans that have rips in them or sacrifice puppies in the toy aisle."
- Will Grayson (the depressive one)
Oh gosh this book is hilarious.
>.<

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

Crazy girl*
posted a quote
June 30, 2014 11:52am UTC

Job applications are stupid. "Why do you want to work for us?"
Me: "Oh, I've always had a passion for frozen yogurt MOTHERF*CKER I'M BROKE."

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AwesomeFlick
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 12:56pm UTC

Mum: Can you do you jobs before we get back from the park please?
Me: Sure, yeah.
*Mum and sisters leave. Left Home alone.*
Me: Okay! What shall I do first?
Me: *Goes and runs around with a toy gun.*
Me: *Watches YouTube*
Me: *Goes on witty and looks at 20 pages of Witty Quotes*
Me: *Eats a load of whipped cream*
Me *Noms on some chocolate biscuits*
Me: *Watches T.V*
Me: *Hears the door* Oh Crap!
Me: *Starts jobs*
Mum: You're doing your jobs, still? You must be really slow.
Me: Yes... slow...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

Sparkles_Bread
posted a quote
June 7, 2013 12:33am UTC

Confession #3
I have no idea what I want to do when I'm older

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*Freedom*
posted a quote
July 22, 2013 11:06am UTC

Plot Twist: Wittians seeing daylight.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

Sweden*
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 7:53pm UTC

Things don't have to change the world to be important.
-Steve Jobs

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

justkiddiing
posted a quote
April 3, 2014 6:03am UTC

Kids are the future they'd tell us that
find your passion, do what you love, concur the heavens
we would grow up and invent time machines and discover aliens
we would make worldpeace
everything was in our reach
we where demigods and they never fail
we where dropped in one of the worst crisisses
there's no money, we'll cut education
there's no future, who's there to blame?
youth, the studies told us
they're addited to facebook and texting, jobless and lazy
we have numbers to prove us.
we may be the generation of social media but we don't like constant updates on how badly we screwed up
If we had those studies in their time I bet the results wouldn't be:"young people are cool and hippies love to work"
maybe you screwed up
we where promissed the world, but we never asked for it in this shape
There are too many people and not enough jobs
nobody wants to hire a young person because they're all lazy
look at the numers they say
look at them

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Anujsomany
posted a quote
September 7, 2015 12:43am UTC

"A piece of unsolicited humble advice to one who tries to brag the long tenure size with a single organization as his or her loyalty-
Request please don’t misguide own conscience and observe the point of view of others who can see it only through their eyes."
~Anuj Somany

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

everythingcrazy
posted a quote
April 13, 2013 1:46am UTC

10 years ago we had STEVE JOBS,
BOB HOPE, and
JONNY CASH.
now we have no JOBS, no HOPE, and no CASH.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

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Best Jobs Quotes Today