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Funny Quotes

  1. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2019 9:34pm EDT
    My daughter says she wants to smash the patriarchy.
    I told her "When you're 21, buy me a bottle of Tanqueray – you'll have the patriarchy smashed in an hour."

  2. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2019 9:33pm EDT
    Diseases have names. Cures are anonymous.

  3. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2019 9:32pm EDT
    I can't handle the truth? That's not what the truth said last night.

  4. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 7, 2019 10:25am EDT
    There's no business like show business, but there's lots 'o businesses like matzo businesses.

  5. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 7, 2019 10:24am EDT
    We don't see things as they are, we see them as our optometrist is.

  6. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2019 8:14pm EDT
    Actually, I don't mind being treated like a number, as long as it's a big, important number.

  7. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2019 8:13pm EDT
    If there was a play about performing Shakespeare, that would be deep, because you'd have a guy saying 'All the world's a stage' on a stage on a stage on a stage.

  8. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 23, 2019 10:58pm EDT
    Fuggiveanfuggedaboutit.

  9. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 23, 2019 10:57pm EDT
    If a nod is as good as a wink, two nods are as good as blinking.

  10. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 23, 2019 10:56pm EDT
    You can hail from the West Indies, you can hail from Cape Town, but you can't hail from Minneapolis.

  11. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 23, 2019 10:55pm EDT
    Whenever I have French fries, I think of her – partly because we loved ordering French fries together, and partly because she was French, and also partly because her name was Fries.

  12. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 16, 2019 10:47pm EDT
    If the world will never be the same again, the world will never be the same, again.

  13. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 16, 2019 10:45pm EDT
    I work in an error conditioned office.

  14. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 16, 2019 10:45pm EDT
    My word is my blonde.

  15. Lil_lamb Lil_lamb
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2019 4:41am EDT
    If you wouldn't invite them to your birthday party, does it really matter what they think of you?

  16. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2019 11:35pm EDT
    To me it's not a near riot unless it's within 10 feet.

  17. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2019 11:34pm EDT
    Never run away from a problem. If confronted by a problem, wave your arms and yell loudly. If this doesn't succeed in scaring off the problem, immediately go limp and play dead.

  18. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2019 11:32pm EDT
    Your genitals refer to your head as 'up there,' with equal embarrassment.

  19. Dishonored* Dishonored*
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2019 12:34pm EDT
    knock knock!
    who's there?
    dishes
    dishes who?
    dishes sean connery

  20. CheRRy0013 CheRRy0013
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2019 4:04pm EDT
    Kingelynne
    I am a person who never stop
    Kingelynne
    Kingelynne

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