Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Funny Quotes

  1. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2019 9:19pm EDT
    I'm sorry for leaving
    I'm sorry with one foot out the door
    I'm unapologetically sorry for everything
    ...
    Maybe more than anything, sorry you love me

  2. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2019 9:15pm EDT
    What's the allure
    of inconsequential love?

  3. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2019 5:41pm EDT
    π’žπ’Άπ“ƒ π“Œπ‘’ 𝒢𝒸𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 π“Œπ‘’ 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 π’·π“‡π‘œπ“€π‘’ 𝑒𝒢𝒸𝒽 π‘œπ“‰π’½π‘’π“‡π“ˆ' π’½π‘’π’Άπ“‡π“‰π“ˆ

  4. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2019 12:30am EDT
    Any time the government denies knowledge, it's speaking the truth.

  5. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2019 12:28am EDT
    It can't be pathological lying if it preserves your health.

  6. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2019 12:28am EDT
    Everybody wants to see the big picture. Nobody wants to smell the big scratch-and-sniff.

  7. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2019 10:41pm EDT
    The United States contains 5% of the world's population, yet uses 24% of the world's energy. On the other hand, the US produces 20% of the world's beer, but consumes only 12.8%. So it's not like the US isn't sharing.

  8. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2019 10:39pm EDT
    The analytical challenges of data mining are manageable, provided proper safety equipment is worn.

  9. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2019 10:37pm EDT
    We ought not let aught be for naught.

  10. Awesome_Sophia Awesome_Sophia
    posted a quote
    May 6, 2019 9:02pm EDT
    "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every dayday."
    -A. A. Milne

  11. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2019 11:20am EDT
    Upon our nation's moral fiber depends our nation's moral regularity.

  12. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2019 11:20am EDT
    Reconnoiter the area? Isn't one connoitering enough???

  13. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2019 11:19am EDT
    I never move my lips when I'm reading. But sometimes what I'm reading moves my lips.

  14. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2019 11:18am EDT
    If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house?

  15. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2019 11:18am EDT
    Just kidding – actually I am a robot.

  16. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2019 10:53am EDT
    Troubleshooting n. The practice of injecting trouble intravenously, typically performed by trouble addicts.

  17. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2019 10:52am EDT
    Everything is survivable, except survival.

  18. *Freedom* *Freedom*
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2019 11:32am EDT
    If I findThe man who loves meThe man who needs meMore than you ever did

  19. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    April 17, 2019 10:18pm EDT
    Take me home
    I wanna go
    And I'm sorry I can't love you
    I'm sorry I can't make you see who I am.

  20. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    April 13, 2019 11:03am EDT
    You go your way, and I'll go thine.

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2019 Witty Profiles