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Best Funny Quotes This Year

  1. musicure musicure
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2018 2:54pm EDT
    nothing heals
    the past like time

  2. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    January 3, 2019 6:13pm EST
    I FEEL LIKE A BRAND NEW PERSON BUT I MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES.
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  3. *Freedom* *Freedom*
    posted a quote
    February 15, 2019 9:09pm EST
    this isnt lovethis is you using me to love yourself even more

  4. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2018 11:56am EDT
    Never take credit for someone else's work. Insist on cash only.

  5. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2018 11:57am EDT
    You don't make it up as you go, you make it up so as to keep going.

  6. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2018 7:34pm EST
    East Coast Gothic
    foggy piers
    something large and unknown washing up onto the shore
    the end of the beach disappearing into the storm
    shade of the forest, leaving patterned shadows and tricking your eyes
    overgrown tombstones
    old houses painted black, shuttered windows
    an outbuilding in the middle of the woods, the forest has moved inside
    you know someone lives there
    figures between the trees, whispering

  7. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2018 11:09am EST
    I'm trying to do a better job of juggling my work life and my juggling life.

  8. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    January 3, 2019 6:28pm EST
    DRIVING HOME ON AN EMPTY HIGHWAY. I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU AND I HIT THE BRAKES. WHAT WE HAD AND WHO WE WERE WAS SO CLEAR. BUT RIGHT NOW I CAN'T SEE NOTHING THROUGH THESE TEARS.
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  9. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    January 6, 2019 4:53pm EST
    YOU KNOW THAT I'M PROUD AND I CAN'T GET THE WORDS OUT.
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  10. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    February 16, 2019 3:01pm EST
    Philosophy is the longest distance between one point.

  11. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    February 17, 2019 9:36pm EST
    When he shall die,
    Take him and cut him out in little stars,
    And he will make the face of heaven so fine
    That all the world will be in love with night
    And pay no worship to the garish sun

  12. tornedsoul* tornedsoul*
    posted a quote
    March 4, 2019 12:25pm EST
    “Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

  13. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2019 6:15pm EDT
    "There are some wounds
    that can never heal.
    There are scars that
    make us who we are.
    But without them,
    we don't exist"

  14. Livv88 Livv88
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2019 7:07pm EDT
    just logged onto witty since 5 years ago 😅

  15. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    October 27, 2018 3:35pm EDT
    Actually, I shudder to think in general.

  16. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2018 11:52am EST
    My daughter asked me what 'mansplain' means. Now what do I do???

  17. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2018 12:26pm EST
    Southwest Gothic
    weather vanes spinning wildly even though there's no wind
    sunsets bathing everything in saturated light before all the color disappears
    old homesteads leaning to one side
    everything covered in cobwebs
    walking in the desert alone
    but you're not alone
    someone on the crest is crawling with you
    waking up to the sound of a complete downpour but looking outside and it hasn't rained even a drop
    your walls have eyes
    and they've seen

  18. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2018 8:41pm EST
    THERE'S GOTTA BE A WAY I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU AND NOT FEEL EMPTY.
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  19. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    December 15, 2018 4:00pm EST
    Our troubles are behind us – and it looks like we're about to get lapped again.

  20. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    December 22, 2018 3:26pm EST
    I believe everything is connected, but some things are better connected than others.

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