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Best Funny Quotes This Year

  1. mandaxxsayss mandaxxsayss
    posted a quote
    April 10, 2020 1:25am UTC
    Q u a r a n t i n e
    b r o u g h t m e b a c k .
    H e l l o .

  2. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2020 8:56pm UTC
    I'M HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS THAT EVERYONE WHO SEES YOU WANTS YOU
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  3. Livv88 Livv88
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2019 7:07pm UTC
    just logged onto witty since 5 years ago 😅

  4. Lil_lamb Lil_lamb
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2019 4:41am UTC
    If you wouldn't invite them to your birthday party, does it really matter what they think of you?

  5. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 20, 2019 9:33pm UTC
    I'm no longer flirting with disaster – disaster and I are now formally engaged.

  6. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2019 12:30am UTC
    I wasted so many years being miserable because
    I assumed that was the only way to be.
    I don't want to do that anymore

  7. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    November 25, 2019 3:31pm UTC
    YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T DO
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  8. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    December 19, 2019 12:27pm UTC
    matutine
    (adj.)
    \ ˈmachəˌtīn \
    of a star: just before the dawn

  9. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    January 14, 2020 11:52pm UTC
    YOU CAN'T LOVE NOTHING UNLESS THERE'S SOMETHING IN IT FOR YOU
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  10. dontsellyourselfshort dontsellyourselfshort
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2020 9:11pm UTC
    I MOVE MOUNTAINS ON MY OWN, DON'T NEED NOBODY'S HELP
    Format © dontsellyourselfshort

  11. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2020 8:09pm UTC
    Gazing up at the stars at night, I realize how small and insignificant my problems aren't. – Galactic Emperor Palpatine

  12. charmander* charmander*
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2020 1:43am UTC
     
    I am currently 22 and remembered this website & logged in. I am now currently hot boxing a car with two people I graduated with. #corona
     
     
     

  13. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    July 12, 2019 10:14pm UTC
    ∞ > ∞.
    – key statement in Cantor's theorem proving that some infinities are larger than others

  14. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2019 9:27pm UTC
    I remember where I was and what I was doing when I first heard the news. I just don't remember what the news was.

  15. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2019 9:29pm UTC
    Whoever put the second S in the KISS principle added 33% needless complexity.

  16. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    September 20, 2019 9:32pm UTC
    30 Days Hath February
    A calendrically accurate, more lyrical alternative to the traditional '30 Days Hath September.'
    30 days hath February
    Minus two in most years, while April won't vary
    Likewise June, September, and November
    But add a day for months 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 10, plus December

  17. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2019 2:33am UTC
    As for you and your heart and the things you said and didn't say,
    she will remember them all
    when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits

  18. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    February 7, 2020 3:23pm UTC
    Irony has been replaced by titaniumy.

  19. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    February 29, 2020 1:36am UTC
    Emotions are like a passing rainstorm: if you live in Southern California, you may never have to experience one.

  20. TheCovertComic TheCovertComic
    posted a quote
    March 6, 2020 4:39pm UTC
    If only we were half as hungry for brains as zombies are.

:)

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