Best Facebook Quotes This Month

Dishonored*
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 6:26pm UTC

Long, but I think it's worth reading because
of the all kinds of awesome:
On facebook, there's this girl my
sister went to school with.
She's generally an annoying b.tch
that doesn't give a f.ck about anyone else.
Well, today she posted pictures of her
totaled car, knocked down poles that
she drove into, and a bunch of street
signs she flattened.
Want to know what the caption said?
"lol this is what happens when you
try to light a cigarette while driving."
un-f.cking-believable right?
Most of the comments were like
100 of her friends being like
"omg! r u ok???!!!???"
but there was this one kid that
actually had b.alls to say
"That's f.cking smart. It's people like you
that put other people's lives in danger because
you're worried about a f.cking cigarette.
I'm glad you hit a pole and signs instead
of a car full of innocent children."
She commented back saying something like
"thanks so much, that totally made my day better :\"
And that same kid, which I now respect so much, replied
"Yeah I'm real worried about making your day better...
just as worried as you were about lighting a cigarette."
I swear I like love that kid now.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 86 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 2:41pm UTC

Why did 7th grade me think it was a good idea to like every
single Facebook page that even slightly applied to me?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 4:52pm UTC

mom: So tell me, who's the lucky boy?
grandma: you have grown into such a beautiful young lady!
mom's friend: wow, she's gorgeous!
friends: you're so pretty!
boys: Hurry, kill it with fire before it lays eggs.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 81 points

*kawaii satan*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 11:25am UTC

♫ she wears short skirts,
i wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain and
i a m t h e d a r k l o r d s a t a n
-nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 84 points

softballxwin27
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 11:38am UTC

I'm so thankful for Facebook.
Without it, I would need to call up 653 friends every morning to tell them I just ate breakfast.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 80 points

OhHoePlease
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 4:06pm UTC

If you see this, you're beautiful. <3 format by: OhHoePlease
Facebook: Lying to people you know.
Witty: Being honest with complete strangers.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 77 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 10:01pm UTC

The kid next door to me challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd post this while I wait for the water to boil.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 4:49pm UTC

What I posted on facebook:
Just chilin' at home today.
What my mom saw:
Hey guys! Come one over and party, my number is 1(234)-567-8910 HMU! My adress is Highway 94, Random drive, My parents are gone from
8-5 o'clock so I have the house to myself. Older men welcome!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 70 points

emilygm*
posted a quote
October 29, 2013 7:58pm UTC

I don't understand how people approach their crush.
I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup at McDonald's.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 79 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 2:36am UTC

my ex told me I would never do better than him.
I guess it's real hard to find someone who is a cheater and an as.hole with a small p.enis, menial job, no bank account and a criminal history.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 73 points

MissHatty
posted a quote
April 5, 2013 9:28am UTC

Chat
∵ Friend Lists
☼ Options
☻ Daniel Radcliff ●
☺ Josh Hutcherson ●
☻ Robert Pattinson ●
☻ Matt Smith ●
☺ Cody Simpson ●
☺ One Direction ●
☺ The Janoskians ●
☺ Justin Bieber ●
Chat
● Chat (40)
Who would you choose, if you saw this?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 74 points

LoveIsEnchanting
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 6:29pm UTC

Facebook:
Helping you stalk people,
one click at a time.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 65 points

beebessey
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 11:13am UTC

My death will probably be caused by me being sarcastic at the wrong time.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 73 points

Spencer Grace✨*
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 3:12pm UTC

If you plss me off...
I swear I will replace all the songs on
your ipod with the Kids Bop version.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 71 points

Travis Allred*
posted a quote
August 15, 2013 2:28pm UTC

Witty isnt about how many faves
you can get on a quote
Tumblr isnt about how many likes/reblogs
you can get on a picture/quote
Facebook isnt about how many friends/likes
you can get on a status
Youtube isnt about how many views
you can get on a video
Twitter isnt about getting as many retweets
you can get on your tweet
But they all have something in common is that when you post something on there, it's should always come from your heart
MyQuote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 62 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
April 30, 2013 6:38pm UTC

Me: *tries to start a conversation wtih my crush on facebook*
Crush: Oh I didn't know we were facebook friends.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 55 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 5:55pm UTC

My cousin accepted my grandma's facebook friend request within an hour
and hasn't accepted mine in 2 years.
Okay, Grandma, what the f.uck

👍 this is good · read the comments · 56 points

Marian*

posted a quote
June 19, 2013 10:58pm UTC

Girl: When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath
to see if I would have survived in that situation.
2 hours ago · comment · 34 likes
Guy: Almost died in finding nemo
30 minutes ago • like • 15 likes

👍 this is good · read the comments · 58 points

AwesomeUsername
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 3:54pm UTC

so one day i was watching tv and all of a sudden i heard this blood curdling scream coming from my sister's room so i went in there and she looked up from her laptop and whispered, "i liked one of his facebook pictures from 2009" and i just

👍 this is good · read the comments · 55 points

Maicy Rasmus*
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 3:30pm UTC

me: what happens if a car comes
him: we die

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points

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Best Facebook Quotes This Month