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d_rew

yourcool
posted a quote
October 24, 2012 6:00pm UTC

i am 17 years old, and still convinced that
there are secret security cameras in my house.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 671 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
March 23, 2013 6:09pm UTC

what a wonderful winter we're having this spring
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 748 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 8:09pm UTC

Most overused movie quote:
Parent: You're throwing away your dream!
Teenager: No mom/dad, I'm throwing away yours

👍 this is good · read the comments · 736 points

ooh_chavez
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 10:07pm UTC

President Obama
wiping away tears in press conference. Today he wasn't a
politician, a democrat, or a president. Today: He was a Dad.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 731 points

Kanerpop
posted a quote
October 26, 2012 1:16pm UTC

"Class Rules!"
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago..
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Fav for another seiries of "Class Rules!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 736 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 17, 2012 6:51pm UTC

when i was little i would put my
arms in my shirt and tell people i lost my arms.
lol jk, i did that today.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 749 points

pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
November 9, 2012 3:26pm UTC

Stalking is when
two people go for a walk
but only one of them knows about it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 736 points

theWalrus
posted a quote
December 20, 2012 3:23pm UTC

Okay before the world ends,
I need you all to know a dark secret of mine.
I let the dogs out.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 755 points

yourcool
posted a quote
November 18, 2012 9:03pm UTC

boybands are weird because they always
sing about how this one girl is really hot and special and it just makes me confused and wonder if they're going to try and share her or just completely gang bang her or what

👍 this is good · read the comments · 739 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 2:20pm UTC

i'm wearing a jacket because
10% i'm freezing
5% it'll be cold later
85% my mother feels cold.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 779 points

converse97
posted a quote
November 28, 2012 3:38pm UTC

Am I the only one who has literally cried over math before

👍 this is good · read the comments · 757 points

ѕυммєяѕυηѕєтѕ*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 2:35pm UTC

r4ndom-url♥
what's the worst thing that could happen from cutting yourself?
▼
■ Anonymous
one day, your child is going to see your scars, and think it's okay for them to do that, too.
Ask r4ndom-url a question
◀

👍 this is good · read the comments · 806 points

phee
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 4:31pm UTC

Let's face it
anything with raisins in it,
would be ten times better
with chocolate chips instead.
for example: a box of raisins

👍 this is good · read the comments · 846 points

Nathannn
posted a quote
December 10, 2012 8:42pm UTC

I'm cancer free♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 817 points

ѕυммєяѕυηѕєтѕ*
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 8:51pm UTC

one child even tried
to comfort his teacher by saying "I know karate; I'll lead the way out." <-------------

👍 this is good · read the comments · 823 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 4:18pm UTC

does anyone ever see things in their dreams
and then later in life see the exact same thing and freak out for a couple of seconds?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 907 points

giveyourheartabreak
posted a quote
November 22, 2012 2:14pm UTC

Mom: What happened?
Me: My shirt fell.
Mom: But it sounded much heavier.
Me: I was in it.
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 824 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 6, 2012 3:27pm UTC

Me: Hey, I like your shirt.
Them: Thanks, I got it for seventy dollars at a department store.
Me: Really? Because for seventy dollars at Burlington, I got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwar, a golden retriever, and two Puerto Rican children.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 831 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC

A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1106 points

akp1015
posted a quote
November 14, 2012 5:02pm UTC

me: well, looks like i'm done with my test
me: but no one has turned theirs in yet...
me: guess i'll just wait
me: *waits*
rest of class: *waits*
one brave soul: *gets up and turns in test*
me & rest of class: *gets up and turns in test*
anyone else?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1006 points

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