Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

RED__rose

  1. Heartless17* Heartless17*
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 10:59pm UTC
    • click to see this quote •
    HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! =P *evil laugh*


  2. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  3. soccertrack soccertrack
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 3:03pm UTC
    TO DO LIST
    Walk up to a random person in the airport. Tell them to not get on the plane. Run away.
    Go to major tourist attraction. Dress up as Waldo. Get in the background of as many stranger's pictures as possible.
    Go to the beach. Bury metal objects that say "Get a life" on them.
    Date a guy who works at Subway. Perfect evil laugh as he makes ME a sandwich.
    Destroy the gnome that keeps tangling my iPod headphones.
    Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Watch their priceless reaction.
    Grab a random kid by the shoulders and scream, "I'M YOU -- FROM THE FUTURE!!!"
    Befriend someone with OCD. Invite them over on cleaning day.
    Go to ex-boyfriend's wedding wearing a long white dress.
    Write "This way to the Ministry of Magic" on the lid of a public toilet.
    Walk to fridge. Return to seat disappointed. Repeat.

  4. darkeyeangel darkeyeangel
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 4:31pm UTC
    A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?”
    The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
    “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”
    - Rebecca - age 8
    “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
    - Billy - age 4
    “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
    - Karl - age 5
    “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”
    - Chrissy - age 6
    “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
    - Terri - age 4
    “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
    - Danny - age 7
    “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
    My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”
    - Emily - age 8
    “Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”
    - Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
    “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”
    - Nikka - age 6
    (we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)
    “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”
    - Noelle - age 7
    “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”
    - Tommy - age 6
    “During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
    He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”
    - Cindy - age 8
    “My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”
    - Clare - age 6
    “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”
    - Elaine - age 5
    “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”
    - Chris - age 7
    “Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”
    - Mary Ann - age 4
    “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”
    - Lauren - age 4
    “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” (what an image)
    - Karen - age 7
    “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”
    - Mark - age 6
    “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”
    - Jessica - age 8

  5. peanut43998 peanut43998
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2010 2:10pm UTC
    First Birthday;
    She looks into his eyes in daycare
    Second Birthday;
    They go to the candy store and share a gummy worm
    Third Birthday;
    They go to the toy store and he picks out a teddy bear for her
    Fourth Birthday;
    They go to Chuckie Cheese's and he gives her some of his tickets
    Fifth Birthday;
    They go to the park and he pushes the swing for her
    Sixth Birthday;
    They're in first grade and they're dotting each others i's and crossing each others t's
    Seventh Birthday;
    They're sharing a seat on the school bus
    Eighth Birthday;
    He's showing her his collection of comic books
    Ninth Birthday;
    They're at the pet store playing with a puppy and naming it together
    Tenth Birthday;
    They're watching the premiere of High School Musical
    Eleventh Birthday;
    They're laughing at the penguins at the zoo
    Twelfth Birthday;
    They're sitting next to each other at the foot ball game
    Thirteenth Birthday;
    They're at an amusement park and she has her first kiss on the Ferris Wheel
    Fourteenth Birthday;
    They go to a haunted house and he holds her hand the whole time
    Fifteenth Birthday;
    They're at the movie theatre watching The Last Song
    Sixteenth Birthday;
    She has the first dance with him at her Sweet Sixteenth
    Seventeenth Birthday;
    They go out to dinner and share a plate of spaghetti
    Eighteenth Birthday;
    She's cheering for him at the Homecoming game
    Nineteenth Birthday;
    They go to prom together and get crowned prom queen and king
    Twentieth Birthday;
    They're sitting on the beach making a sand castle
    Twenty First Birthday;
    He's down on one knee asking her to marry him


  6. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    February 10, 2013 4:43pm UTC
    this one time
    in sixth grade i was waiting for
    my bus because it was
    late and this girl was
    cleaning out her locker and a
    teacher was helping her and
    all of the sudden the teacher started
    screaming and the girl started
    crying and all i heard was “
    YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH LIVING
    IN YOUR LOCKER??!!”
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  7. softballxwin27 softballxwin27
    posted a quote
    January 20, 2013 5:41pm UTC
    *turns light off*
    *dives to the bed*
    *misses*

  8. sarahmarlowXxx sarahmarlowXxx
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2013 4:35pm UTC
    *teacher on a date*
    guy: can i kiss you
    teacher: i dont know, CAN you?

  9. EmilyxLovesxU EmilyxLovesxU
    posted a quote
    January 24, 2013 6:31pm UTC
    *True story, happened yesterday*
    *In the middle of maths and the fire alarm goes off*
    Teacher: Everybody walk out sensibly, in a single flie line.
    Everyone: *gets up to go out*
    *Headteacher comes in*
    Headteacher: Please can you all stay seated until you're told to go, it's just a practice.
    *Everyone sits back down*
    Teacher: *dramatically falls to the floor and starts singing* JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME BURN BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY IT HURTS...
    This made my day.

  10. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2013 4:57pm UTC
    *meeting One Direction*
    You: Hey boys, will you sign my album please? (Trying to be confident)
    Them: Sure!
    Harry: *whispering to Liam* It's her...
    Liam: *whispering to Harry* I know, bro. Stay cool!
    Louis: *whispering to Zayn* Zayn... it's her! She's standing right in front of us!
    Zayn: *whispering to Louis* Wow, I could scream right now!
    Niall: OMFG IT'S YOU WE LOVE YOU! WE ALWAYS STALK YOUR TWITTER AND IMAGINE US MEETING YOU! YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS! ME AND THE BOYS ALWAYS FIGHT OVER YOU!
    You: ...
    Liam, Harry, Louis and Zayn: *facepalm*
    Josh Devine: *Runs up to you* OMG GUYS IT'S HER!
    Niall and Josh: *Scream and hug each other*
    You: I love you!
    Boys: *Faces light up*
    Josh: NIALL, DID YOU HEAR THAT!?
    Boys: *Jump over the table and hug you*
    Zayn: Now... who gets to date her??
    You: *wakes up*
    You: *falls off your bed*
    You: *hits your bed side table*
    You: *dies*

  11. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 6:29pm UTC
    one time
    i put my mum’s bras on a
    ceiling fan because i though it’d be a
    funny prank but then some
    people came over to look at the
    house and i didn’t have
    time to take the bras down so
    when my mum turned the fan on bras
    flew all around our kitchen and
    landed on the people and like
    no one wanted to say
    anything so we acted like
    bras weren’t strewn across all of us
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  12. XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 12:56pm UTC
    Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-scented shampoos before? Everything was just strawberry, cinnamon, and citrus. Nice, normal things.
    Now I pick up a bottle of shampoo and it's all like:
    "DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYA MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLIAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOU HAIR SOME VOLUME."
    AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
    IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

  13. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    January 19, 2013 5:21pm UTC
    Witty: Don't cha wish your users were hot like mine
    Witty: Don't cha wish your users were always online
    Witty: DON'T CHA
    Facebook: Stop. This isn't funny anymore.
    Witty: DON'T CHA

  14. phee phee
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 2:22pm UTC
    me: *whispers to friend*
    teacher: would you like to share that with the class?
    me: ...err obviously not, that's why i whispered.

  15. HometownHero HometownHero
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 2:38pm UTC
    “cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy
    little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully

  16. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 4:24pm UTC
    If I owned a coffee shop in Disneyland, I’d name it Mochahontas.

  17. RED__rose RED__rose
    posted a quote
    February 10, 2013 11:09pm UTC
    3years ago...
    My best friend was so mad at herself. She picked up a raser. I attacked her. We both where crying. We wesled on the floor for 15 min, i finally manged to get the rasor out of her hand. i threw it accross her room. She yelled:
    Her: WHY!!!! WHATS SO BAD IF I CUT!!! WHATS THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN?!?
    Me: IN 10 YEARS YOUR KIDS WILL SEE THE SCARS AND THINK ITS OK FOR THEM TO DO THAT TOO!!!
    Ater that we just sat on the floor,looked at eachother, cried and huged intill we fell asleep.
    I feel like i saved her... tomarrow ill put on a pink dress and stand next to her... as her maid of honor... guess who will have a beautiful white dress with no scares on her wrists... She will...

  18. IJustNeedLovee IJustNeedLovee
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2013 2:09pm UTC
    If there are 500 bricks on a plane and 1 falls out, how many are there?
    499
    What are the 3 steps of getting an elephant in the fridge?
    Open the fridge, put elephant in fridge, shut the fridge.
    What are the 4 steps of getting a deer in the fridge?
    Open the fridge, get the elephant out, put the deer in, shut the fridge.
    The Lion King is having a birthday party. Which animal isn't going?
    The deer in the fridge.
    A woman tries to swim across alligator infested waters. How does she do it?
    Normally. The alligators are at The Lion Kings party.
    She dies anyway. Why?
    She gets hit on the head with the brick.
    My crush told me this and I thought it was hilarious <3

  19. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    January 24, 2013 5:57pm UTC
    the person who invented marriage was creepy:
    "hey, i love you so much, i'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave."

  20. Eli123qwe Eli123qwe
    posted a quote
    January 12, 2013 10:57pm UTC
    Witty
    www.wittyprofiles.com
    Takes Away Your Social Life, Sleep, and Grades!
    Join Now!
    AdChoicesâ–º
    .
    .
    .
    Might wanna check that ad above again ;)
    double quote format by Breeze

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles