Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

NEVERSHOUTNEVER4797

  1. Ethanol Ethanol
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 3:14pm UTC
    Online shopping:
    me: hey this is cute
    me: *checks price*
    me: never mind i'll find someone like you

  2. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 3:49pm UTC
    I'm like an iPhone. I just lose energy
    without doing anything.

  3. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    June 9, 2013 6:04pm UTC
    Me: Who here likes Green Day?!
    People: When is that?
    Me: Who here likes Emily's Army?!
    People: Who's Emily?
    Me: Who here likes My Chemical Romance?!
    People: No one cares about your love life, Charlie.
    Me: Who here likes Muse?!
    People: The Greek Godesses?
    Me: Who here likes Panic! at the Disco?!
    People: Do people still disco?
    Me: Who here likes Black Veil Brides?!
    People: Why do I care about goth people getting married?
    Me: Who here likes Sum 41?!
    People: Ew I hate math.

  4. br0kenwings br0kenwings
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2013 3:26am UTC
    Fifteen Small Steps To Happiness
    One. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
    Two. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
    Three. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
    Four. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
    Five. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
    Six. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
    Seven. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
    Eight. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
    Nine. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
    Ten. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
    Eleven. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
    Twelve. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
    Thirteen. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
    Fourteen. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
    Fifteen. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

  5. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 3:44pm UTC
    Why people should be friends with me
    -I'm short so I'll either make you seem average height,
    taller, or like a freaking giant and who doesn't want to look
    like a giant?
    -I almost always have hand sanitizer on me so yay I'm germ free
    and you can be too
    -I laugh at everything so I'll make you seem funnier
    -I have no common sense so I'll make you seem smart
    -I sit on my bum all day so you don't even need to come over
    and I'll consider you a good friend
    -My brother plays deck hockey with a bunch of hot guys so hint hint
    wink wink
    -You could be a "sl.ut" and I won't care because
    what's wrong with that? Get the d.ck, girlfriend
    -I don't live far from Boston so we'd be able to go on fun
    adventures in the city
    -I live next to Lowell so we could go there and make a game of
    going there trying not to get shot
    -My neighbors are all really rich so I gots connections
    -I don't use proper grammar half the time so you'll seem
    even smarter
    -I will let you come over to my house at 2am and let you eat
    food
    -yourcool used to go to my school so once again I gots connections
    -I rock out to RENT 99.9% of the time so you'll hear some awesome music
    -I dress like I'm from the 90s more than half the time so you'll seem more fashionable
    -I'm really hawt so my hotness will just rub off onto you
    -I'm just overall awesome
    -I just need more friends okay
    -please
    -Please
    -PLEASE

  6. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 2:54pm UTC
    Oops I accidentally
    discovered the Internet and kissed my social life goodbye what do I do now

  7. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 4:33am UTC
    boys walk around shirtless: oh that's fine, it was a hot day and they didn't want to overheat!
    girls wear clothes that acknowledge the fact that we are human beings who have shoulders: nO, ///STOP//// the boys will be dISTRACTED FROM LEARNING, keep your sinful shoulders under cover good lord.

  8. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2013 8:20pm UTC
    Do you ever just feel sort of there? Like, all your friends go out
    and do things and have fun and do stupid things with their bes friends and instead of doing all that, you're just sort of that mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn't really care if it was gone?
    Like, you just sort of exist but you don't really mean anything?

  9. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    March 21, 2013 4:01pm UTC
    You know
    what makes me angry?
    Sometimes I try really hard to look nice,
    like I wake up and get motivated
    and put on nice clothes and bracelets
    and shoes and I feel good
    And then, some girl wearing sweats and a messy bun
    still look 40 times hotter than me.
    I can't win.

  10. alimophia alimophia
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2012 6:29pm UTC
    Teacher: Why didn't you study?
    Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!
    1111 tumblr

  11. CandyBurst CandyBurst
    posted a quote
    May 3, 2012 3:10pm UTC
    I’m blonde; I must be stupid.
    I’m brunette; I must be boring.
    I have red hair; I must have a fiery temper.
    I have black hair, I must be eccentric.
    I dye my hair; I must be trying to be someone.
    I wear make-up; I must be fake.
    I wear skirts; I must be a slag.
    I like football; I must be a lesbian.
    I’m rich; I must be spoilt.
    I’m poor; Imust be a tramp.
    I wear black; I must be a goth.
    I wear hoodies; Imustbe causing trouble.
    I’m skinny; I muststarve myself.
    I’m curvy; I must constantly eat.
    I’m smart; I must be a nerd.
    I’m independent; I must be a loner.
    I cry; I must be a baby.
    I’m not like you; I must be weird.
    I’m like you; I must be copying.
    I’m religious; I must make you be the same.
    I’m young; I must be naïve.
    I’m old; I must be unable to look after myself.
    I’m a teenager; I must always be up to no good.
    I’m a straight-A student; I must have no social life.
    I have no job; I must be lazy.
    I have a good job; I must be a snob.
    I’m foreign; I must be pocketing your tax.
    I am human; I must be stereotyped.

  12. greyskies greyskies
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2013 8:01am UTC
    *When someone walks slower than me*
    Me: omfg your slow a/s/s is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us
    Me: put some pep in your step grandma
    *When someone walks faster than me*
    Me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police
    Me: this isn't a race, you can tone it down usain bolt
    *When someone at the same pace as me*
    Me: who gave your creepy a/s/s permission to walk with me
    Me: get the fudge away from me before I call the cops

  13. ErinIsTheName* ErinIsTheName*
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2013 5:24pm UTC
    With these cuts I hope to die,
    Let’s see how many people cry
    When I’m buried in the grave
    Who will wish they had made me stay
    When the roses start to wilt
    Who will realize their guilt
    But I hope that those who cared
    Know that I cherished the time that we shared
    With these cuts I hope to die
    Let’s see how many people cry

  14. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2013 2:33pm UTC
    And her grades dropped from a ninety eight to a ninety two
    And she stopped eating from three helpings to just one
    And she stopped sleeping from ten hours to only six
    And these changes were subtle, but there were there
    And she slowly fell apart, piece by tiny piece
    And her grades plummeted, she's failing now
    And she stopped eating, she hasn't had a bite
    And she stopped sleeping, she was lucky to get an hour
    And these changes seemed sudden, but they were there all along
    And she fell apart a while ago and no one could put her back together

  15. sincerely_me1017 sincerely_me1017
    posted a quote
    March 6, 2013 5:43pm UTC
    "Sorry"
    is said 10 times a day by the average human.
    You say it when you accedentially bump into someone in the hall.
    You say it when your foot is in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    When you kick someone's leg under the table and didn't mean to.
    When your standing in someone's way.
    Even if you walk into a pole, you apologize to it.
    But then you get into a fight
    with a friend
    with a boyfriend
    with a parent
    and the words
    "I'm Sorry"
    seem impossible.

  16. wittyquotesgurl wittyquotesgurl
    posted a quote
    March 6, 2013 7:46pm UTC
    school activates my inner serial killer

  17. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 3:14pm UTC
    what if
    i’d just started licking the
    dentists fingers while they
    were in my mouth omg
    format jimmy365

  18. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 3:41pm UTC
    you think
    im too confident
    for my own good
    so you shoot me
    down because
    you think
    someone
    should
    format jimmy365

  19. celestialerror* celestialerror*
    posted a quote
    March 6, 2013 8:33pm UTC
    It's such a terrifying feeling; the feeling of sudden realization that you're starting to depend on another person. When someone stats to matter so much that you start to forget how to function properly without them. When you let yourself get comfortable, become vulnerable. The moment when you feel someone breaking through all those metaphorical walls that you've put up around yourself—to block out the sadness and the pain—and you're not sure if you want to stop them, or not.


  20. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2022 Witty Profiles