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Choc_em

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 3:21pm UTC

I hate most Disney Channel shows because
they're the same basic premise with different characters. And also, who comes up with the costume design? No one actually dresses in three shirts with a vest and a plaid skirt over jeggings over jeans with twenty bracelets.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 727 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 2:31pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 666 points

BlackUmbrella
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 12:17pm UTC

person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person says... hi
PLOT TWIST: That person is confessing their undying love to you; spilling their guts and finally getting the courage to tell you how you feel. Then they think, delete it all and type in that one word.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 942 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 12:51pm UTC

me: why is everybody
going to bed, it's only -
OH.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 854 points

jimboslice3
posted a quote
December 27, 2012 4:04pm UTC

They should invent wifi bracelets,
so you can wear them anywhere
and have wifi connection
CookieDoughFormats

👍 this is good · read the comments · 806 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 5:51pm UTC

i had a dream where i killed all the shirtless
guys with "swag" and their duckface girlfriends, too. it was called the "yolocaust."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1316 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
January 2, 2013 3:53pm UTC

I spend more time untangling my headphones than actually listening to music.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 171 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 101 points

aquaprin
posted a quote
January 1, 2013 11:20pm UTC

Just a regular convo between my boyfriend and I....
Some random dude texted me... He though I was his ex
Okay..well, what was said?
It went something like this:
Him:Could we be
friends?
Me:Who is this?
Him:Jesse
Me:I think you have the wrong number.
Him: Is this Becky?
Me:No. I just got a new phone.
Him:oh
Me: sorry
Him:I guess she gave me the slip
Me: good luck with that
Him: You don't happen to be a single woman do you?
Me:You got half of that right... I'm all alone this weekend ;)
Him:I don't usually go for this kind of thing, but what the hell. Where do you wanna meet?
Me: how about you decide, and I'll be perfectly fine with it.
Him: how about the bar on the corner of Jefferson @ 8?
Then I realized how gay this was getting and I never responded.
This is why you are my boyfriend. Also, you make a convincing hooker lady
Thanks babe, thats what every guy wants to hear from his girlfriend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 124 points

sayheyilyx
posted a quote
January 1, 2013 9:26pm UTC

Me: *wakes up*
-two hours later-
Me: *gets out of bed*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 250 points

theWalrus
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 1:38am UTC

Hey guys, I have a confession as well.
Since it's almost new years I thought I should come clean.
I made this account,
and I have been lying to everybody.
You guys might hate me for this,
but I'm not a walrus.
I know it was stupid,
but I knew I would get more followers this way.
Because,
I'm actually a narwhal.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 234 points

sammy*
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 11:22am UTC

My friend: So what are you planning to do when Niall gets engaged?
Me: Go shopping for a wedding dress, duh?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 278 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 7:27pm UTC

There are some things you need to
hear in order to feel better about a situation.
Like, "I'm sorry." and "I miss you."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 112 points

Feuerchen
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 9:18pm UTC

Burning your thighs with your hot laptop battery.
A wittian's sunburn.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 174 points

伤*
posted a quote
December 27, 2012 12:08pm UTC

"If a man whistles you, don't turn around
ignore him because, you're a lady not a dog"
- Niall Horan

👍 this is good · read the comments · 444 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
December 27, 2012 2:56pm UTC

We kill people who kill people because killing people is bad.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 451 points

Gives_MeHope
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 2:38pm UTC

When I was 4 years old, my family went on a Disney cruise.
I was so excited... but I ended up getting sea sick. As I gloomily watched the other kids play with Mickey, I felt someone tap my shoulder.
It was Donald Duck.
He stayed by my side the entire time, making sure I was having fun.
To this day, he's still my favorite character.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 488 points

nopatience
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 9:01pm UTC

So I went to the store,
on Monday,
to buy... things.
Me: *stands awkwardly and miserably at the cash register where there is an insanely hot cashier who's like 18 and an old fat security guard standing nearby for god knows what reason*
Cashier: *starts checking out my tampons, tissues, toilet paper, and nose spray*
Security Guard: *starts cracking up*
Me: *awkward death glare that's not as menicing as I wanted it to be*
Cashier: *dying of laughter*
Security Guard: Well, you've got liquid comin' outta all your holes!
Cashier: *literally falls over from laughing so hard*
Me: *blushes*
Me: *secretly hiding laughter*
Me: *grabs a paper bag, rips 2 holes out, and puts it on my head*
Me: *walks away silently without taking any of the stuff I'd originally wanted to buy*
Me: *gets to the car*
Me: *dies*
Mom: where's all the stuff you needed?
Me: don't. ask. just. drive.
Mom: well sh*t I'll do it you p*ssy
Mom: *gets out of car*
~~~ 15 minutes later ~~~
Mom: *gets in car with a blush*
Me: it happened to you too?
Mom: shut the h*ll up.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 501 points

Skimrande
posted a quote
December 27, 2012 6:17pm UTC

My mom: Becky (my sister), are you in a bad mood?
Me: No, that's just her personality, remember?
My sister: Like your personality is so much better.
Me: My personality is amazing.
My sister: Yeah, I guess it has to be since you're so ugly.
My mom: How would you like it if someone called you ugly?
My sister: I'd be like, "Wow, you think I'm ugly? You should see my sister!"
Well, played, sis. Well played.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 595 points

SetFireToTheRain
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 1:48pm UTC

So I was on Instagram,
and I was looking at the "Explore" section pictures.
There was this picture of this model girl, and most of the comments were usual.
"Hot"
"Stunning!"
"nice"
And as I was scrolling down, I came across this comment:
"Sometimes when no one is home I enjoy serparating M&M's into color groups and pretending they're little villages of people with their own economic and social problems, and then I try to fix them through free trade agreements and other diplomatic measures."
.....
So I just wanted to take the time out and say:
Dear whoever made that comment,
You belong here.
Sincerely, Witty is right for you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 609 points

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