toxic. cause if i press this button and re-open this wound, maybe then it'll get to you. but if i say it hurts and you say it again a little louder, how can we expect a different next chapter? we're both at it again, as certain as sunrise and set. sometimes you're cool and i'm too hot. mostly we're just burning red, blowing off steam and becoming who we said we're not. how'd we learn to vent this way? we're childish and immature. even during this argument i want to kiss you just to spite you. but you're getting teary and pouty as you continue to tell me off. we take turns with caving in and tonight i'm the first one 0n my knees. i can never win when you're like this; it makes me feel especially sorry. now eye to eye it's like our demons have left us. we'll apologise, cook dinner and decide what gifts the cash in the swear jar can afford us.
i hate that you can't cover your feelings. you wear disdain like it's something to be proud of. it's also not impressive when one cannot filter their words. it's more respectable when someone can take others into account. consideration is key and spluttering out whatever comes to mind is never pretty. we're all learning. let's be more sympathetic from now on, shall we?
you don't want to face up to the mess you've caused. you just want me to greet you with a smile day in and day out. you want everyone to overlook what a terrible job you've done. the big blatant elephant in the room trumpets at you yet you never bat an eyelash. you do you. stay delusional. i will keep my sanity and limit contact with you from here on out.
cause you told me that story with such a big grin. a stupid look on your face as you told me the most...inappropriate story. was i supposed to laugh? did you want me to be happy for you? i don't know what you were expecting. do you really not know me well enough? it's so nice to hear about others caring for you. it's so nice to hear stories about you being so supportive to others as well. it's so nice to hear about how capable and responsible you are. now i'm just left confused as to why you never showed me the same. congrats. you're so out of touch. it's almost legendary.
father material. he's the kinda guy you dont really want around. funny and endearing from a distance but dangerous up close. the kinda guy who's only good when the ocean is calm. the kinda guy you don't want around in times of trouble. never dependable and always full of excuses. he's the guy with no kind bone in his body. ofcourse he'll know how to play nice but it will always be an act. if no one is watching he will be himself. the sad thing is that he doesn't even know himself well. despite that, he'll claim to know you better than you know yourself; "you never used to be like this, you're acting different". he's the kinda guy who has got gift giving and acts of service as a love lanuage. except he'll expect to only receive and give very little. he's the kinda guy who acts aloof and indifferent. but deep down he's honing in on how to press your buttons. the kinda guy your mum will never be fond of. probably cause he reminds her too much of your father.
I've been so focused on welcoming in love and new connections, that I neglected the connection to myself. Moving forward I will make it a priority to take care of myself, and learn to love who I am again. This is the only way I can heal from the past, and stop self sabotaging.
I didn't even know this website still existed. I haven't been on here in like 8 years so I'm surprised I remembered my password. Witty was the best back in the day and it's literally the reason I chose my career path. I'm sad it's not as popular as it once was; I hope it comes back to life eventually. It's so funny to see the stuff I posted on here when I was 12 lol. Maybe I'll start posting again :)