lovecrazy posted a quote
February 3, 2013 8:47pm UTC
My dad: *Screaming from across the house* ARE YOU WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL?! Me: No. Dad: WHAT?! Me: NO I AM NOT WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL Dad: *Walks into my room* You don't have to yell, gosh. Why aren't you watching it? Me: My team didn't make it and I have better things to do Dad: So what are you watching? Me: High School Musical Dad: Aren't you a little old for that? Me: No, I'm never to old to watch Zac Efron sing and dance. Me: He's hot. Dad: Yeah, he is. Me: Dude, you're old. Me: And married.. Dad: I'm just kidding. I was hotter than him. I was smokin' hot, I had babes all over me. Me: Sure. Dad: Seriously, he's uglaaay Me: No! Me: Get out, you are not my father. Me: Zac Efron please come join me in my room, hot stuff. Dad: Me: Dad: You are so weird and I'm missing the game. Buh-bye. *Walks out* Dad: *Pokes head back in* I was still smokin' hot. Ask your mom
Abort mission. I repeat abort mission. Code red. So, I was sitting at lunch and it was the lunch that's extremely crowded and you're forced to sit at a table with your friends and people you've never talked to in your life. So, besides my friends, there were one or two junior guys also sitting at the table, because the one next to them was too full. One was sitting in the seat directly across from the one next to me. He looked at me and said Hale a few times. I have never talked to this kid in my life. I've never even seen him before. The only people who call me that are on this website. Guys, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.
How roll call will go in the future: Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name. Teacher: Albus Albus: Here! Teacher: Doctor Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something. Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and- Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up! Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose Primrose: Here Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!! Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome. Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning! Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together! Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down. Teacher: Rory Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow. Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco. Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!
Unless you physically see me opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.
glitter162* posted a quote
September 1, 2013 4:18pm UTC
You hear a noise. It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.
kristabff posted a quote
October 14, 2013 4:20pm UTC
That awkward moment when you're doing your homework and suddenly your pencil turns into a computer mouse and you've already reblogged 10 photos from Tumblr and liked your best friends cover photo on Facebook and updated your status on Twitter and before you know it half and hour has gone by and you still need to complete your homework.. I still don't know where my pencil is though.
lovecrazy posted a quote
July 11, 2013 12:30pm UTC
HA HA HA guuuuys I just got reported and blocked on Facebook. It's actually quite funny, so let me tell you. A girl I go to school with posted a picture of her in a bikini doing the duck lips and peace sign saying "getting tan" actually she wasn't tan she's burnt af. Anyway, that bikini is 5x too small... So I commented "The camel called, he wants his toe back." She didn't like that too well uh ohhhh we've got an angry dorito on the loose guys.
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time and then another person fell and another and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so f/cking happy
happiest* posted a quote
December 24, 2013 2:45pm UTC
This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled
365days* posted a quote
April 27, 2013 12:35pm UTC
THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MUSIC NERDS LIKE US *My sister and I trying to teach a boy to play piano* Boy: Did you ever take piano lessons? Sister: No, Im a natural I guess. Me: Well, aren't you sharp? Sister: Take notes then. Me: Now, lets not cause any treble. Sister: Me: Score! Sister: Give it a rest. Me: Are we going to be doing this the whole time? Sister: I could go on for forte days. Me: That would B major. Sister: I swear, you are beat in' me up over this. Me: Im sorry, I didn't mean to. It was accidental. Sister: You have some major problems. Me: I don't like your tone. Boy: Come on guys, compose your thoughts carefully. Sister: Yeah, lets stick to the coda conduct. Me: Okay, this is getting ritarded. Sister: Yeah, I can't think of anymore clefer things to say. Me: This is alto much for me. Sister: This is really becoming unbarible. Me: Good thing you are A minor. Your jokes are so bad, you could have got double time. Boy: What is going on? Why are you guys laughing so much? Sister: Well, bassically- *starts laughing* Me: Okay, lets just get bach to the music. Its too much for her to handel. Yes, we had an entire conversation in music puns. If you don't know much about music and band, this probably makes no sense.
lovecrazy posted a quote
January 31, 2013 3:57pm UTC
Kid: Sir, why do we take English? Teacher: It's required. Kid: I mean like why is it called English class? Teacher: We speak English. Kid: No, we don't. We speak American. Teacher: Class: Kid: I mean people in England speak English. We speak American. We don't use the words they do, adn they don't use the words we do. Therefore we don't really speak English, we just use some of their words. Teacher: Class: Kid: Me: Whoa, man. That was deep. I think I just teared up a bit. Kid: -.- We decided that he was actually kind of right though..