Sometimes, I think of the Moon and Sun as lovers who rarely meet. . . Always chase and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up. . . and they kiss and the world stares in awe of their eclipse.
Dudu* posted a quote
September 14, 2017 9:03am EDT
My younger sister is my best friend, but she doesn't know. She knows the most about me, I really like taking with her about whatever comes to mind. I can be myself completely. We fight a lot too about petty stuff, but it's never serious. She is my best friend. I won't tell her, because she would worry about me. "What about [insert friends name here]?" Would be the first thing she says back. And I don't want her to worry. She is a bit younger than me, I feel like I still have this proper image to uphold when I'm with her. It would hurt my pride if she knew how I really felt most of the time. She is my closest friend. Maybe when we're older I can tell her. Maybe when I'm older I will have made new friends. Maybe when my depression goes away. Who knows.
To my favorite person in the world, I know things are over, and I know that means I don't get to create new memories with you. I know I have told you not to talk to me again, but everyday I talk to you, sometimes in whispers, sometimes in sobs, but everyday I do. I know a lot of things now and one of them is how incredibly I miss you, but how that alone is not a great enough incentive to get us to talk again anymore. I know what we had was special and invaluable, and I know it because I know a lot of people, a hell of a lot of them, and still nothing makes up for the fact that we won't get to stroll around aimlessly together anymore. I know I am sad, I can feel it everyday as I lay my head down to sleep, and I know why I am so, but I also know that I have tried with all my heart for the both of us and it went in vain. I know what would feel good and what is right to do, and it aches me that this time they are two completely different things. I know I had you. I know I lost you.I know things are sh|tty. I know it's aready been a while. I know I should've been feeling better. BUT I AM NOT.And that's okay, or at least that's what they say. The one thing I DON'T know is whether this will end up being just a break or a good-luck-in-another-lifetime kind of thing. And it's scary how I DON'T know which of them would be a better option. I DON'T know why I'm writing this as well, but I guess if I ever figure out why I still talk to you in my head everyday, I'll figure out the rest of this. LOVE, always.
You hurt me when I'm good to you. You lie to me even whenI tell you the truth. You leave me after I give you attention. You walk away when I ask you something after I answer your question. You ignore me when you have someone better to talk to. You only love me when I'm beneficial. You only want me when you're lonely. You don't care how my day was, but you'll tell me about yours. You don't love me the way I love you.
What i MISS: a list Long drives. 2am bus rides. Sneaking out. Concerts on a Sunday night. Empty beer bottles. Drunk calls. Texting til I fall asleep. Sharing chocolates & cigarettes. Smoking at the fire exit. Walks at the Acad Oval. Picking flowers, chasing dragonflies. Running in the meadows til we run out of breath. Watching the stars. Midnight take outs. Diet & workout plans. NEVER ACTUALLY DOING THEM. Exchanging baby videos on YouTube. Selfies in the library. Sending notes. Drawings on my skin. Making playlists. Holding hands, forehead kisses, lift hugs. Being reminded to bring my umbrella when it's raining. Slipping origami hearts in your sweater pockets. You tucking my hair behind my ears. The citronella scent of the top of your head. The perfect fit of my head on your shoulders. Your warm palms on my cheeks. Touching your eyelashes, watching you blink. Kisses on your collarbone. Your breath on my neck. Shivers down my spine. Asking for more. The trace you leave on my fingers. Waking up in your arms. Lazy Sunday mornings. Arguing over pasta or pizza. Petty fights. Big fights. Tear stains on your shirt. Apologies. ACCEPTING apologies. Learning what is worth fighting for. Raising the white flag in surrender. YOU, most of all.
Dear Ladies.. Has a man ever asked you "Have you eaten today?" Has he ever given you a compliment without expecting one in return? Has he ever congratulated you on your achievements and pushed you to aspire you to do more? Has he ever claimed you as "His" not with his words, but his actions? Has he ever opened himself up to you, and given his all to the point there's no way he could share it with another woman? Has he ever done/said anything sweet to you, not because he knows that's what you want, but because he knows he's lucky to have you? Have you ever had a man be consistant with positive treatment that doesn't fade away? Does he make you smile without having to do anything? Have you ever had a man who is afraid of losing you because you're valuable to him? This is a real man. Have you ever been with a real man?
YOU GROW RAVENOUS. YOU RUN FEVERS. YOU KNOW EXHILARATIONS. YOU CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, BECAUSE YOUR BEAST-CREATURE IDEAS WANT O U T AND TURN YOU IN YOUR BED. IT IS A GRAND WAY TO LIVE. — Ray Bradbury "Zen IN the Art of Writing"