Best Story Quotes This Week

xxHelloLovelyxx
posted a quote
March 27, 2013 5:34pm UTC

Today in school,
someone asked me why I would voulantarily spend extra time writing. My response was:
"This world sucks, so I created my own."

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伤*
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 2:39pm UTC

NOT FRIENDS, NOT EMEMIES
JUST SOME STRANGERS WITH
SOME MEMORIES

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lovecrazy
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 8:47pm UTC

My dad: *Screaming from across the house* ARE YOU WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL?!
Me: No.
Dad: WHAT?!
Me: NO I AM NOT WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL
Dad: *Walks into my room* You don't have to yell, gosh. Why aren't you watching it?
Me: My team didn't make it and I have better things to do
Dad: So what are you watching?
Me: High School Musical
Dad: Aren't you a little old for that?
Me: No, I'm never to old to watch Zac Efron sing and dance.
Me: He's hot.
Dad: Yeah, he is.
Me: Dude, you're old.
Me: And married..
Dad: I'm just kidding. I was hotter than him. I was smokin' hot, I had babes all over me.
Me: Sure.
Dad: Seriously, he's uglaaay
Me: No!
Me: Get out, you are not my father.
Me: Zac Efron please come join me in my room, hot stuff.
Dad:
Me:
Dad: You are so weird and I'm missing the game. Buh-bye. *Walks out*
Dad: *Pokes head back in* I was still smokin' hot. Ask your mom

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 13, 2013 4:44pm UTC

Abort mission. I repeat abort mission. Code red.
So, I was sitting at lunch and it was the lunch that's extremely crowded and you're forced to sit at a table with your friends and people you've never talked to in your life.
So, besides my friends, there were one or two junior guys also sitting at the table, because the one next to them was too full. One was sitting in the seat directly across from the one next to me. He looked at me and said Hale a few times. I have never talked to this kid in my life. I've never even seen him before. The only people who call me that are on this website.
Guys, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 7:31pm UTC

How roll call will go in the future:
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
Teacher: Albus
Albus: Here!
Teacher: Doctor
Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
Primrose: Here
Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
Teacher: Rory
Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!

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glitter162*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 5:08pm UTC

I wonder if clouds ever look
down on us and say "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot".

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lovecrazy
posted a quote
July 11, 2013 12:30pm UTC

HA HA HA guuuuys I just got reported and blocked on Facebook.
It's actually quite funny, so let me tell you. A girl I go to school with posted a picture of her in a bikini doing the duck lips and peace sign saying "getting tan" actually she wasn't tan she's burnt af. Anyway, that bikini is 5x too small... So I commented "The camel called, he wants his toe back." She didn't like that too well uh ohhhh we've got an angry dorito on the loose guys.

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dani64
posted a quote
March 18, 2013 5:00pm UTC

Whatt if I ever do get a boyfriend?
I wouldn't know what to do
What do they eat?
How often do they need to be walked?

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glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:09pm UTC

Unless you physically see me
opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 4:18pm UTC

You hear a noise.
It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 5:27pm UTC

Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 4:12pm UTC

I have this weird self-esteem
issue where I hate myself, but I still think I'm better than everyone else.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 392 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 14, 2013 4:20pm UTC

That awkward moment
when you're doing your homework and suddenly your pencil turns into a computer mouse and you've already reblogged 10 photos from Tumblr and liked your best friends cover photo on Facebook and updated your status on Twitter and before you know it half and hour has gone by and you still need to complete your homework..
I still don't know where my pencil is though.

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*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
March 14, 2013 9:17pm UTC

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
I want to hit you with my car
Throw you off a tree so high
Hope you snap your neck and die
♥

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glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:52pm UTC

In 1000 years, archeologists
will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

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bye*
posted a quote
May 4, 2013 4:10pm UTC

okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and another
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so f/cking happy

👍 this is good · read the comments · 336 points

happiest*
posted a quote
December 24, 2013 2:45pm UTC

This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled

👍 this is good · read the comments · 330 points

365days*
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 12:35pm UTC

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MUSIC NERDS LIKE US
*My sister and I trying to teach a boy to play piano*
Boy: Did you ever take piano lessons?
Sister: No, Im a natural I guess.
Me: Well, aren't you sharp?
Sister: Take notes then.
Me: Now, lets not cause any treble.
Sister:
Me: Score!
Sister: Give it a rest.
Me: Are we going to be doing this the whole time?
Sister: I could go on for forte days.
Me: That would B major.
Sister: I swear, you are beat in' me up over this.
Me: Im sorry, I didn't mean to. It was accidental.
Sister: You have some major problems.
Me: I don't like your tone.
Boy: Come on guys, compose your thoughts carefully.
Sister: Yeah, lets stick to the coda conduct.
Me: Okay, this is getting ritarded.
Sister: Yeah, I can't think of anymore clefer things to say.
Me: This is alto much for me.
Sister: This is really becoming unbarible.
Me: Good thing you are A minor. Your jokes are so bad, you could have got double time.
Boy: What is going on? Why are you guys laughing so much?
Sister: Well, bassically- *starts laughing*
Me: Okay, lets just get bach to the music. Its too much for her to handel.
Yes, we had an entire conversation in music puns. If you don't know much about music and band, this probably makes no sense.

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happiest*
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 1:38pm UTC

Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story?

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lovecrazy
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 3:57pm UTC

Kid: Sir, why do we take English?
Teacher: It's required.
Kid: I mean like why is it called English class?
Teacher: We speak English.
Kid: No, we don't. We speak American.
Teacher:
Class:
Kid: I mean people in England speak English. We speak American. We don't use the words they do, adn they don't use the words we do. Therefore we don't really speak English, we just use some of their words.
Teacher:
Class:
Kid:
Me: Whoa, man. That was deep. I think I just teared up a bit.
Kid: -.-
We decided that he was actually kind of right though..

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Best Story Quotes This Week