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Best Story Quotes This Week

  1. xxHelloLovelyxx xxHelloLovelyxx
    posted a quote
    March 27, 2013 5:34pm EDT
    Today in school,
    someone asked me why I would voulantarily spend extra time writing. My response was:
    "This world sucks, so I created my own."

  2. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2013 2:39pm EDT

  3. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 8:47pm EST
    My dad: *Screaming from across the house* ARE YOU WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL?!
    Me: No.
    Dad: WHAT?!
    Dad: *Walks into my room* You don't have to yell, gosh. Why aren't you watching it?
    Me: My team didn't make it and I have better things to do
    Dad: So what are you watching?
    Me: High School Musical
    Dad: Aren't you a little old for that?
    Me: No, I'm never to old to watch Zac Efron sing and dance.
    Me: He's hot.
    Dad: Yeah, he is.
    Me: Dude, you're old.
    Me: And married..
    Dad: I'm just kidding. I was hotter than him. I was smokin' hot, I had babes all over me.
    Me: Sure.
    Dad: Seriously, he's uglaaay
    Me: No!
    Me: Get out, you are not my father.
    Me: Zac Efron please come join me in my room, hot stuff.
    Dad: You are so weird and I'm missing the game. Buh-bye. *Walks out*
    Dad: *Pokes head back in* I was still smokin' hot. Ask your mom

  4. kurwa* kurwa*
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2013 4:44pm EST
    Abort mission. I repeat abort mission. Code red.
    So, I was sitting at lunch and it was the lunch that's extremely crowded and you're forced to sit at a table with your friends and people you've never talked to in your life.
    So, besides my friends, there were one or two junior guys also sitting at the table, because the one next to them was too full. One was sitting in the seat directly across from the one next to me. He looked at me and said Hale a few times. I have never talked to this kid in my life. I've never even seen him before. The only people who call me that are on this website.
    Guys, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.

  5. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    August 11, 2013 5:08pm EDT
    I wonder if clouds ever look
    down on us and say "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot".

  6. dani64 dani64
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2013 5:00pm EDT
    Whatt if I ever do get a boyfriend?
    I wouldn't know what to do
    What do they eat?
    How often do they need to be walked?

  7. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 7:31pm EDT
    How roll call will go in the future:
    Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
    Teacher: Albus
    Albus: Here!
    Teacher: Doctor
    Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
    Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
    Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
    Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
    Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
    Primrose: Here
    Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
    Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
    Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
    Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
    Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
    Teacher: Rory
    Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
    Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
    Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!

  8. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2013 5:09pm EDT
    Unless you physically see me
    opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

  9. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 4:18pm EDT
    You hear a noise.
    It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.

  10. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 5:27pm EDT
    Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
    Me: Gravity, mom.

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 4:12pm EDT
    I have this weird self-esteem
    issue where I hate myself, but I still think I'm better than everyone else.

  12. OreoLover OreoLover
    posted a quote
    March 10, 2013 11:53am EDT
    Long, but worth reading.
    Amazing True Story, btw.
    Alright, so yesterday, my friend and I got into an arguement over something really stupid. I felt bad about it, so I tried apologizing to her, and I tried to explain myself, but she wouldn't answer me. Instead, she made indirect facebook statuses saying "Don't Talk to Me," and "Stop." I got pretty upset over the whole thing, and was honestly worried that she would hate me forever. I'd never gotten into an actual arguement with her before, so I didn't know how seriously she took fights. She didn't talk to me or respond to my apology texts all night.
    Well, anyways, I woke up the next day (today) and had to go to a Catholic Retreat to prepare for my confirmation, from 9:00am to like, three. So, while we were there, we talked about our religion and all that, watched skits, played games, and spent a few moments of silence in prayer. I was worried the entire day if my friend was still mad at me, and I couldn't really focus on anything else, so around 11:30, keep that time in mind, I just prayed that she would realize in her heart that I didn't really do anything wrong, and that she would forgive me.
    I payed attention for the rest of the retreat, which was actually pretty interesting to me.
    So when I got home, the first thing I did was check my phone. I got a text from my friend, the one I'd been fighting with, and immediately anxiety flooded over me. But when I read it, it simply said,
    "I forgive you."
    Relieved, I went back to my daily routine of checking facebook, witty, tumblr, instagram, etc.
    But then, on facebook, I saw this picture that my friend uploaded, at exact;y 11:32. I couldn't believe it.
    The picture was a fortune she'd gotten from a fortune cookie. The message on it?
    "You need to forgive that person today. Just trust me."

  13. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2013 4:20pm EDT
    That awkward moment
    when you're doing your homework and suddenly your pencil turns into a computer mouse and you've already reblogged 10 photos from Tumblr and liked your best friends cover photo on Facebook and updated your status on Twitter and before you know it half and hour has gone by and you still need to complete your homework..
    I still don't know where my pencil is though.

  14. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    July 11, 2013 12:30pm EDT
    HA HA HA guuuuys I just got reported and blocked on Facebook.
    It's actually quite funny, so let me tell you. A girl I go to school with posted a picture of her in a bikini doing the duck lips and peace sign saying "getting tan" actually she wasn't tan she's burnt af. Anyway, that bikini is 5x too small... So I commented "The camel called, he wants his toe back." She didn't like that too well uh ohhhh we've got an angry dorito on the loose guys.

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2013 6:52pm EDT
    In 1000 years, archeologists
    will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

  16. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2013 4:10pm EDT
    okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
    but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
    and then another person fell
    and another
    and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
    and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so f/cking happy

  17. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2013 2:45pm EST
    This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled

  18. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    March 14, 2013 9:17pm EDT
    Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
    I want to hit you with my car
    Throw you off a tree so high
    Hope you snap your neck and die

  19. 365days* 365days*
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 12:35pm EDT
    *My sister and I trying to teach a boy to play piano*
    Boy: Did you ever take piano lessons?
    Sister: No, Im a natural I guess.
    Me: Well, aren't you sharp?
    Sister: Take notes then.
    Me: Now, lets not cause any treble.
    Me: Score!
    Sister: Give it a rest.
    Me: Are we going to be doing this the whole time?
    Sister: I could go on for forte days.
    Me: That would B major.
    Sister: I swear, you are beat in' me up over this.
    Me: Im sorry, I didn't mean to. It was accidental.
    Sister: You have some major problems.
    Me: I don't like your tone.
    Boy: Come on guys, compose your thoughts carefully.
    Sister: Yeah, lets stick to the coda conduct.
    Me: Okay, this is getting ritarded.
    Sister: Yeah, I can't think of anymore clefer things to say.
    Me: This is alto much for me.
    Sister: This is really becoming unbarible.
    Me: Good thing you are A minor. Your jokes are so bad, you could have got double time.
    Boy: What is going on? Why are you guys laughing so much?
    Sister: Well, bassically- *starts laughing*
    Me: Okay, lets just get bach to the music. Its too much for her to handel.
    Yes, we had an entire conversation in music puns. If you don't know much about music and band, this probably makes no sense.

  20. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2013 1:38pm EST
    Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story?

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