Like the naked leads the blind I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind Sucker love I always find Someone to bruise and leave behind All alone in space and time There's nothing here but what here's mine Something borrowed, something blue Every me and every you Every me and every you Every me and every you. Placebo- Every me Every you.
the words that hurt and dug deep into my skin. they were so relentless and bold. making a home where they were not welcome. now when i see you those words surface again. as fresh as ever, they circulate in my head. round and round. down this path we've walked. apologies and faked forgiveness. perhaps i am still immature. because i can't move on. cannot accept you've changed because those words linger. you could mean well, but when you smile at me i feel as though you are mocking me. when you greet me i wonder if you enjoy torturing me like this. i always wanted to grow older and move away. this world is so big but not big enough. i wanted to move onto another life at some point. but with my luck i would still see you there. the me who was small and afraid. she hides behind the me who is cold and unapproachable. i'll reciprocate your smile and greeting. the smile won't reach my eyes, the greeting won't ever be genuine. i'm mature, i get it now. i just have to pretend like everyone else.
holding onto the hands of time and begging him to stay. tears that rarely fell are coursing down his face. a memory of a man who smiles with his teeth is fading fast. hunched posture, shaking shoulders. all it will take is time and he will be whole again. warm porridge, a hot bath, fresh pajamas. i won't take my eyes off of him. i'll tuck him in. wrinkles that were deepset are easing away. blanket rises and falls with every breath he takes. i hope he's dreaming a beautiful dream. with his eyes closed, finally i cave.
jake and I spent our 3 year anniversary hiking.he made me climb a mountain... I’m more of a flat stay on a trail kind of person. That really sums up our life together. I get in my comfort zone and get in the cycle of just doing things I want to do all the time. It’s nice to have a partner who makes you get uncomfortable, because it’s in those moments we grow. I don’t want to climb another mountain, but with her I know I will... and the view will be worth it every time. Here’s to 3 years of adventures babe, and to many more to come.
we both begged for understanding, so why can't we follow through? I wonder if this uneasy feeling lingers with you also. When we're retracing fond memories and holding each other. When our breathing is timed and our words kinder, I wonder if you feel this nervousness too.
When i know your thoughts through a single glance, what words are needed? i can see your heart throb, flutter and shake by the red on your cheeks. your preferences have slowly become my preferences, my secrets have slowly become yours. when ego steps in and makes us part ways. those times even, what more is there to say? if my eyes have missed yours so much that tears well, if i feel most pretty when you're kissing me, if holding your hand when i'm anxious has become second nature if the path to your house has somehow become mine... What words are needed?
accept me, love me, hold me. tell me words of encouragment. pretty phrases you've learnt along the way. let's cuddle, i'm especially sad tonight. simply being in the same room would be enough. just want to see you and hear that voice. i'm closing my eyes to the sound of you. a long day is finally coming to an end. my anxious heart is finally settling down. small spoon, feeling protected and safe. sighs have become my normal breathing pattern, but with this long exhale my burdens are sent off one by one. i'm warmed by the touch of you. i think i can find the strength to go on. hanging onto precious nights like this, i think it will be more than enough. i say thank you and mumble small compliments. how handsome and kind you are. how tender and sweet you are. i'm drifting off to the thought of us being eternally like this. warm in every essence of the word. comfortable. content. dare i say it, even happy.
If i say it simply. If i set the tone right, so that you are not caught off guard. If i could stand in front of you and have you listen to each word. "I, these days. I am tired." Would these plain words be enough? Simple yet vague still. Can you see me through for once? For once can you see through me?