Best Ohgod Quotes This Week

of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 8:54pm UTC

Oh how wonderful a mini anxiety attack just to make my day.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 42 points

*Freedom*
posted a quote
October 27, 2013 11:31am UTC

Here’s To The Kids.
The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke and Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here’s to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here’s to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here’s to the kids who were never too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here’s to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here’s to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts. Here’s to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. Here’s to the kids who hum “a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me” when they’re stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here’s to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn’t even know they existed. Here’s to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and didn’t feel so alone after doing so. Here’s to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friends. Here’s to the kids who are straight up smartasses and just don’t care. Here’s to the kids who speak their mind. Here’s to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do. Here’s to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids that are okay with that. Here’s to the kids. This one’s not for the kids who always get what they want, but for the ones who never had it at all. It’s not for the ones who never get caught, but for the ones who always try and fail. This one’s for the kids who didn’t make it, we were the kids who never made it. The overcast girls and the underdog boys. Not for the kids who had all their joys. This one’s for the kids who never faked it. We’re the kids who didn’t make it. They say “breaking hearts is what we do best,” and “we’ll make your heart be ripped out of your chest.” The only heart that I broke was mine, when I got my hopes up too high. We were the kids who didn’t make it.
We are the kids who never made it.
NOTMINE/SWEET

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points

Lauren🌸*
posted a quote
July 21, 2013 8:55am UTC

girl: mummy, what's in your stomach?
mum: your baby brother.
girl: do you love him?
mum: yes, very much.
girl: then why did you eat him?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

GetInMyVanItHasFreeWifi
posted a quote
July 29, 2013 8:40pm UTC

So I have a couple of things on my mind to say right now...
As some of you know, Steve blocked quotes tagged as suicide/self harm/depression from showing up on the newest quotes page. I think he's stopped that now because of a bunch of selfish b//tches complaining, but this is what he had to say about it at first:
"Some of you have noticed that some negative quotes no longer show in the top quotes and new quotes feeds. This change was done intentionally by me for two reasons: 1) a study cited in a book I read, mentioned that when mass media publicizes a suicide, it leads to more suicides among people who can relate to the person who committed suicide. 2) When I asked why people continue to visit Witty Profiles, many mentioned it was for the funny quotes. Some mentioned specifically that they don't like reading the depressing quotes when they've come to Witty for funny quotes. The bug that I need to fix will allow users to browse through these negative quotes if they've gone out of their way to do so. I just don't want to promote these quotes and have Witty be part of a downward spiral for someone. I hope this makes sense."
I just don't understand WHY people are complaining about it though. Firstly, Witty is a website for FUNNY AND INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ONLY. It has always been like that and it will always be like that. It's not your diary. I've been yelled at by people because I support what Steve did, which I don't understand. I'm a recovering self harmer and I come to Witty to find things to cheer me up and motivate me. I don't want to suddenly come across quotes glamorising self harm and depression, because I, and a lot of other people, get triggered by that. Yes, you have freedom of speech etc etc. Yes, you can express yourself any way you like. But Witty is just NOT the place for that. Try websites like Tumblr, Twitter, thequietplaceproject.com, places like that where you can vent however you like and it's less likely to be seen by people who are easily triggered. Or keep a real diary yourself. OR, if you really are so passionate and determined to post it here, make a sort of story or poem out of it that isn't going to trigger people, but will help them feel better. Yeah, I know it's hard. But it's also hard for me seeing things like "I love the pain of cutting myself every night" and "People who commit suicide are beautiful" when I'm trying to get over that stuff myself. Please. Just use this website the way it's meant to be used.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
posted a quote
November 28, 2013 4:01pm UTC

So every year before Thanksgiving dinner, my family says a
couple of the thing that they're thankful for.
You know... friends, family, Jesus, idek the usual stuff.
when it came to my turn, I said without thinking,
"Anime, wifi, and Witty,"
and as if on cue, my whole family turns to me and
says in unison,
"What's Witty?"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points

AnotherAverageTeenageGirl
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 9:37pm UTC

Tomorrow I'm going to a place where I won't have connection to the internet for an entire week.
I'm going to die.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 28 points

ocean pixie*
posted a quote
November 3, 2013 10:41pm UTC

The other night, on Halloween, I was trick or treating with a couple of friends. We walked up to this one house and the guy was asking everyone a question, whether it was math, spelling, or an opinion. He asked my friend "what scares you most on halloween?" and my friend said "my reflection" and I kind of ended up laughing hysterically laying in the man's drive way.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points

nicole🌹*
posted a quote
October 21, 2014 6:33am UTC

If you ever feel bad about yourself,
just remember that when I was in
eighth grade I didn't know what it
meant to be a vir.gin and when one of
my guy friends asked me if I was one
I said no

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 24, 2013 10:58pm UTC

Where's the best place to hide a dead body?
The cemetery.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 27 points

Alva
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 1:31pm UTC

Mum: Who's Emma Watson again?
Me: Harry Potter.
Mum: Right, that's what I've thougt. She played Harriet.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Hermione.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 29 points

*kawaii satan*
posted a quote
November 12, 2013 11:14am UTC

let's all take a moment to appericiate the fact that my mother thinks 'yolo'
means 'frozen yoghurt' and I am not correcting her

👍 this is good · read the comments · 29 points

Vic Fuentes*
posted a quote
August 18, 2013 6:55pm UTC

*Does a test*
Forgets everything the topic is about and suddenly remembers
what happened on the 5th day of 2004 at 7:30am

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 26 points

* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 4, 2013 2:05am UTC

Once upon a time
There was a moose
The moose was a beautiful moose
Until the magical lollipop showed up
The moose was told not to eat it
So... He did
The moose died
All the forest animals feasted on his meat and let his bones to rot
The end ^-^
~From the mind of 7th grade me...
I am suddenly terrifyed of myself ;-;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

*silvergirl*
posted a quote
November 30, 2013 9:28am UTC

Guys on Black Friday someone came running down my road screaming "THE SALES" and then they jumped into a ditch.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

*Tori Leigh*
posted a quote
December 23, 2013 10:40pm UTC

Me: *looks at own quotes*
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha oh god I'm hilarious

👍 this is good · read the comments · 24 points

Chris*
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 10:43am UTC

Him: What are you thinking about?
Me: How I'm mad at you because you ditched me last night.
Him: Okay good, you're still adorable.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

kidd*
posted a quote
October 25, 2014 5:46pm UTC

imagine reading a book of all the lies you've told

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

we2areawesome
posted a quote
November 30, 2013 10:58am UTC

Last night I forgot what milk was called so I called it
Cereal water.
CEREAL WATER.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

*nerium*
posted a quote
July 30, 2014 5:52pm UTC

movies can be so raw, so real it hurts
i cried, wilting like a flower, when richie slit his wrists, vertically, and watched the blood fill the sink because he loved his sister when he shouldn't have. snot was trying on my face when he kissed margot. when she kissed back i bloomed like spring.
my reaction was more subdued when frank had done the exact same thing, because frank had done this because he didn't like himslef. and that i could relate to. things are less shocking when they have happened to you before. the pain was there though, and my heart fell into something thick and heavy.
i felt phantom pain in the joint of my elbow when harry had his arm - the same terrifyingly pale shade of my own - amputated, the limb purple and angry against his flesh from needles used by others. he cried and screamed as nurses held him.
i shook as tyrone went through withdrawal, sweating profusely, whimpering for the mother he had let down.
i found it hard to breathe when mia started to convulse, her nose dripping red, and her mouth foaming like newly opened champagne. the belt holding my lungs suddenly snapped when vince stabbed her with a dose of epinephrine straight to the heart. i noticed our breath rushed back into our bodies simultaneously.
i have felt more love for fictional people than anyone else, and i do not know why. i think it is because they are so raw, and i think this is because they are not afraid of who they are, because they are unaware anyone is watching.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

Raymatts
posted a quote
March 19, 2013 5:23pm UTC

guys I was just texting the guy I like and I was trying to say that I'm kind of a germaphobe but my phone autocorrected so I texted him "I'm kind of a hermaphrodite" and BASICALLY IM GOING TO CURL UP IN A BALL AND DIE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points