You want to start selfharming?
Okay. But be warned. - you may think that you can keep it under control.
But you couldn't be more wrong. It starts to take over your whole world,
it will be all you can think about. You will crave it during the day.
you will have a constant pain shooting to your wounds which you have to try and hide.
You will lose your ability to open up to people. You will struggle to comfort your friend
when they are crying, because the only solution you will know is selfharm.
the idea of going to the beach, or going swimming will become a distant memory.
it will become unbearably hot during the summer.
You will end up shutting yourself off from your friends.
you will no longer be able to give them hugs, because of the pain it will cause you.
you think you can control it, keep it to one side of your body...
but you will become addicted and it will spread all over your body.
The scratches will turn into gaping wounds.
The simmers will turn into serious burns.
You will slowly get to know your body, as you start to destroy it.
you may get a few minutes of feeling free but as soon as the rush ends
you will feel worse than you did before.
you will find yourself escaping company just to have a few minutes of 'releasing' your feeings.
you will run into your bathroom and scramble around for anything that can damage your skin.
anything that can cause pain, will trigger you when you are down.
you will have to cover up your cuts/scars/burns. and if you forget, just for a second-
you'll have to explain how they got there.
you will justify buying a medical kit, just to avoid the E.R/A&E
Bandages. Plasters. Scar removers. Anti bacterial wipes. Razors.
you will get deeper and deeper, as you learn how to handle your cuts.
the first time you go deep enough for stitches you will freak out. the blood will just keep coming.
you'll become good at explaining the blood on your clothes and bedsheets.
but you will never be the same. The old you may have been honest.
but the new you (the self harm) will lie to everyone you meet.
and if you don't, you will be judged by people who don't understand.
if you don't selfharm, then please don't start-
and if you do selfharm then find the strength to get help.
it may be hard, but you won't regret it. Happiness is still in your grasp.
just ask yourself one question.
is it worth it?