Best Contest_funny Quotes Today

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:44pm UTC

Format chickittylover
Facebook would be . .
way cooler if it was on t.v, "in other news joes
girlfriend is a cold heartless b/tch.
details at eleven . . . .

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 11:35am UTC

what if eyebrows went
all the way around our eyes

👍 this is good · read the comments · 72 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:54pm UTC

Old people are either super nice
or the meanest people on earth
there is no inbetween.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 62 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:29pm UTC

are planets just the suns moons?
does that make our moon… moon moon?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 63 points

capsized*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 2:58pm UTC

I think for Halloween I'm going to RSVP to as many parties as I can and offer to help each one (set up, supply food, clean). I wont show up to any of them though. When mobs of people ask "what happened?" why I didn't do my job, I'll tell them I was just in character.
That's right, I'm dressing up as the Government Shutdown for Halloween.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points

mads*
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 8:22pm UTC

me: i love you dad
dad: i tolerate you too madison

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

Bec*
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 11:08pm UTC

Does anyone else get dissapointed when you see a really crunchy looking leaf and when you step on it, it doesn't do the thing.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:13pm UTC

The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

Bec*
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 11:15pm UTC

Me: *saves video game*
Me:
Me:
Me: did i save

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points

AWittyGirl
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 5:17pm UTC

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 22 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:05pm UTC

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you did the best you could
and it still wasn't good enough.
- format by Breeze

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

kimsgrande
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 6:30pm UTC

i love every second that we spend talking
but honestly you don't even care.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:02pm UTC

stop editing your,
Picture's, what is you go missing?
How could we find you if you look like
Beyonce on facebook,
and waka flocka in person.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

niki12354
posted a quote
October 8, 2013 8:10pm UTC

if god has a plan for me....
then i really hope that plan has unlimited texting and internet usage

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

crazybananas
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 5:46pm UTC

i'm hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom
and no one thought to tell me so i was just doing my naked thing after my shower
and then i was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet
and i don't know how long i have to be here i don't have snacks or anything
update: i found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% i feel like bear grylls
don't you have clothes in your closet
*got this from tumblr*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

FallenAngel*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 4:26am UTC

The Wi-Fi went off today. I had to spend time with the family.
They seem like good people.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

hallo1234
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 10:18am UTC

I'm having one of those days where
my middle finger is answering
all the questions

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Lost_Girl_98*
posted a quote
October 9, 2013 9:47am UTC

When your headphone breaks and there is only sound coming from one side!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

hallo1234
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 9:30am UTC

wittyxxgirlxx format do not remove
Gurl, please.
You're as useless as the G in Lasagna.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

LukeeyBrooks
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 8:08am UTC

Parents: wow you look gorgeous you are so beautiful.
Family: surely you have 14 boyfriends and boys falling at your feet.
Friends: omg you are sooo pretty!
Boys: i've never really seen this species of animal before.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

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Best Contest_funny Quotes Today