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phionexflames

KT_143
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 1:50pm UTC

I want a tampon commercial where the woman are fighting zombies or some sh.t.
And they're all beat up and bloody and shoving tampons into bullet wounds to stop the bleeding.
And I want one of the ladies to full-on decapitate a zombie with a machete or maybe a scythe.
And then I want her to look directly at the camera with blood running from an open wound on her forehead and say,
"For the fighting spirit."
It would be called the Tampocalypse.
Because periods aren't all 'Let me parade around in my motherf.cking white bikini at the beach
while doing back flips and faffing about through a field of daisies.
IT'S LITERALLY A BLOODBATH!
IT'S A WAR!
IF YOU GET IN MY WAY, F.CKER I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT!
Tampocalypse

👍 this is good · read the comments · 333 points

伤*
posted a quote
November 2, 2013 1:54pm UTC

i used to be a really smart kid who was “going places” but now
i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge

👍 this is good · read the comments · 335 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 5:45pm UTC

If I were the guy who made
the "Where's Waldo" books, I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn't there.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 319 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 4:50pm UTC

TALL BOYS
WITH PRETTY EYES AND DEEP VOICES AND MESSY HAIR WHO SMIRK A LOT ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS 10/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 357 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
August 30, 2013 5:08pm UTC

A moment of silence for all the teenagers
whose parents won’t let them eat in their room

👍 this is good · read the comments · 355 points

Bec*
posted a quote
July 4, 2013 8:12pm UTC

Either that's another firework or a tribute is dead.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 314 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
August 24, 2013 6:01pm UTC

sassy english
teachers
are the best because they’re beyond sarcastic and somehow always end up insulting the kid that you hate and everyone else likes
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 336 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 8:01pm UTC

WHEN YOU'RE
WEARING A SKIRT AND YOU SPIN AROUND AND IT DOES THE THING
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 318 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 10, 2013 2:29pm UTC

Why do people have quiet and respectful funerals? When I die, I want my
ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly into a coffin and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting "Thanks For The Memories" by, Fall Out Boy.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 322 points

kristabff
posted a quote
July 7, 2013 9:30pm UTC

In my bedroom at night.
Me: ~is peacefully playing on my phone in my bed~
Me: ~hears rustling outside of my closed door~
Me: Uh....what's that....?!
Zombie: ~bursts through door with giant axe~
Me: AHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD WTF AHHH!!!
Me: Oh no wait, you're not my mom!! Haha, whew i was scared there for a second!! Imagine if you were my mom and she saw me playing on my phone this late! Hahahah sorry about that!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 323 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 5:01pm UTC

Me: *goes through a year of school*
Me: Wow that was so fast!
Me: *watches a 30 second youtube ad*
Me: THIS IS NEVERENDING

👍 this is good · read the comments · 334 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
August 23, 2013 2:57pm UTC

Apparently my little seven year old cousin made a club
at school called the “no friends club” and basically everyone who
doesnt have friends sits together at lunch holy sh.t hes going to be
the next leader of the free world

👍 this is good · read the comments · 338 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 2:23pm UTC

If you don’t get a little gay with your best friends you’re not close enough

👍 this is good · read the comments · 354 points

kristabff
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 5:02pm UTC

Justin Bieber: Swag swag swag on you
Me: Ew help get it off get it off!!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 331 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:52pm UTC

In 1000 years, archeologists
will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 339 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 14, 2013 4:20pm UTC

That awkward moment
when you're doing your homework and suddenly your pencil turns into a computer mouse and you've already reblogged 10 photos from Tumblr and liked your best friends cover photo on Facebook and updated your status on Twitter and before you know it half and hour has gone by and you still need to complete your homework..
I still don't know where my pencil is though.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 356 points

bye*
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 4:40pm UTC

once when I was on my period I dropped a bowl of cheese ball/s on the floor and sat down and cried for an hour if that doesn’t explain periods then idk what does

👍 this is good · read the comments · 350 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 9:20pm UTC

sometimes i feel offended by american stereotypes
but then i remember that we had a nationwide panic when they stopped making twinkies

👍 this is good · read the comments · 358 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 2, 2013 10:30am UTC

The fear of tampons that exists in teenage boys is literally one of the
funniest things I've ever seen. They act like it's a nuclear missle. Like, calm down, bro. It's just a compressd cotton ball. I swear to God, if you ever want a teenage boy to leave you alone just pull out a tampon and throw it in his direction and he will run as far away as possible. It's hilarious.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 426 points

kristabff
posted a quote
June 28, 2013 5:14pm UTC

what if one day the earth was just like "i'm done" and flew into the sun

👍 this is good · read the comments · 363 points

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