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Interview Quotes

  1. BeckyBeccaful BeckyBeccaful
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 7:41am UTC
    Bryan Stars: What's your best pick-up line?
    Andy Biersack: I have a p/enis.
    Why did I find this so funny? x')

  2. demons* demons*
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 9:35pm UTC
    ❝If liking Disney makes you gay, I am a flaming ho/mo.❞-Austin Carlile

  3. *gloomy* *gloomy*
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 12:07am UTC
    Jimmy Fallon: Are you on Facebook?
    Emma Stone: No, I had to delete my Facebook.
    Jimmy Fallon: Why?
    Emma Stone: I got addicted to "Farmville".
    Jimmy Fallon: I know a little about it, but it's a fake farm.
    Emme Stone: It doesn't feel fake, Jimmy.

  4. erica119 erica119
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 2:12pm UTC
    interviewer :; why were you hit by a car at 18 months old?!
    jennifer lawrence :; i was adventurous

  5. xPerfectlyxImperfectx xPerfectlyxImperfectx
    posted a quote
    January 26, 2013 1:06pm UTC
    *Ed Sheeran in an interview*
    Interviewer: Where would One Direction be without Liam Payne?
    Ed: Prison

  6. SwaggerGirl6 SwaggerGirl6
    posted a quote
    January 26, 2013 11:50am UTC
    Interviewer: How did you learn to act so well?
    Jennifer: I was a big liar when I was a child.

  7. funnyboy2 funnyboy2
    posted a quote
    January 25, 2013 3:34pm UTC
    A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
    The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
    'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you sir?', he asked the second man.
    'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
    'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
    'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
    The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
    Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
    Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
    'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
    'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
    BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

  8. MyWittyProfile MyWittyProfile
    posted a quote
    January 25, 2013 3:15pm UTC
    Don't ever let your daughters go to Warped Tour, it's bad news.
    -Kellin Quinn

:)

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