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Funnyish Quotes

  1. justalilpoptart justalilpoptart
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2014 12:58pm UTC
    and my favorite mythical creature is
    a dad with funny jokes

  2. Hellboy Hellboy
    posted a quote
    June 2, 2014 3:56pm UTC
    Im not hard to talk to I just don't like society

  3. again again
    posted a quote
    January 14, 2014 1:32am UTC
    In Junior High I was proud of being flat chested because gym was still fun for me and I didn't have to worry like all of my friends who complained about how it was no more fun because it hurt to run. I was proud of my height because it made me stand out enough that people thought I was some special person for just growing early. I was proud of my frizzy hair because it reminded me of a fun book character from a series I used to love, Pippi Longstocking, I was also proud of my red hair because of that. I was proud when I had to start shaveing and got my first pimple because it ment I was growing up. I was proud of my eye color because they were a little bit blueish. I was proud of my personality because everyone loved me and said I was a great friend. I was proud of my smile and laugh because they were contagious. I was proud of my mismatched clothes and crazy knee high socks because I had all the colors of the rainbow on me and rainbows were happy and was I. I was a stupid kid to think that I would be proud of these things for the rest of my life.

  4. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    January 13, 2014 5:23pm UTC
    Oh my gods, I traded a Starburst for a Twix from my crush!!!
    We're, like, so meant to be!

  5. Pointless...* Pointless...*
    posted a quote
    December 4, 2013 10:04pm UTC
    Dogs are Human Beings Best
    Cats are Cleopatras best friend
    All animals are My best friend

  6. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2013 5:07pm UTC
    As stupid and mean as it sounds, I stabbed a kid with a highlight. I don't even know why, I just did.
    The kid next to me and the kid across from him were playing with the highlighter, and I had my glasses on my planner because I was putting my hair in a headband. So, the highlighter rolls to my planner and the kid next to me tries to grab the highlighter, somehow moving my glasses on top of my planner to being on top of the highlighter. He touched my glasses and didn't grab the highlighter successfully, so I grabbed the highlighter, planning to just hand it to him, but for some stupid reason my instinct or mind or whatever, said to stab him with it When he had touched my glasses, for another stupid reason, I got mad at him, so that was the reason for stabbing.
    I mean, like, this could be one of my stupidest reasons to get mad about! But, at the same time, I was actually glad, as stupid as it sounds.
    It could've been because just a couple minutes before, I said to him, jokingly, "I love you," "Hi, cutie," and I hugged him, because the girl across from me dared me to and because I slightly like him.
    I apologized but it didn't sound very heartfelt, so I wanted to apologize him again after school because he usually walks past my locker when leaving school, but I didn't see him or he didn't even pass. I honestly do feel guilty and bad about it, though.
    Yeah, so I still don't know why I stabbed him.

  7. TheFifthMarauder TheFifthMarauder
    posted a quote
    October 23, 2013 1:45am UTC
    Don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be left alone.

  8. * Sabaism * * Sabaism *
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 6:25pm UTC
    Story time #7
    So today I was running home
    And I fell and cut my thigh, but somehow it didn't rip my pants
    So I had blood running down my leg
    And some boy walks up to me.
    Boy: What's wrong with you?
    Me: I got my period. I don't have a tampon. God, this is so embarrassing.
    Boy: But... You're... You're a boy.. Right?
    Me: Yea...
    Boy: But. Boys don't get periods... Do they?
    Me: Actually, they do. You'll get it around Freshman year.
    Boy: That means I only have another year to go.
    Me: Oo. It's gonna hurt, trust me. Better get used to wearing tampons.
    Boy: Okay...
    Me: Here, let's go to the store. I'll buy you some so you can start to practice.
    Boy: Thanks, sir. That's really nice of you.
    *At the store*
    Cashier: That's nice of you to buy these. Most guys would be ashamed.
    Boy: I'm more worried than I am ashamed...
    Cashier: Why are you worried, sonny?
    Boy: I'll be getting mine next year.
    Cashier: But. Aren't you a boy?
    Boy: Yes sir. When did you get yours?
    Cashier: I didn't get mine...
    Me: You're one of those rare ones that don't get it. I am so jealous.
    Cashier: Wait... Is that why I couldn't produce children..?
    Me: Yes, yes it is.
    Then I gave him the money and walked out.
    I bought tampons for a boy just because of yolo.
    I really need a hobby.

  9. MyWittyProfile MyWittyProfile
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2013 9:49pm UTC
    Well, if the government can shut down, why can't I?

  10. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    October 17, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    I swear guys, with all my time venting to myself about things, I've sorta become a swearer. Like, I honestly don't wanna be a swearer, so yeah . . . I don't even know why I did this . . .

  11. mtndewhm* mtndewhm*
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2013 9:53pm UTC
    30 day challenge
    Day 21 and day 22 because I'm stupid and forgot to do one yesterday.
    Day 21: Favorite YouTube video:
    Day 22: Phone type
    Samsung Intensity 2 (The blue one)

  12. * Sabaism * * Sabaism *
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2013 12:07pm UTC
    Confession #40
    I once walked in on my friend..
    You know...
    And we made eye contact
    And he wouldn't stop
    And I wanted to leave
    But I couldn't
    I was just frozen there
    Looking in he eyes
    Him looking back into mine
    Then after about 10 minutes of hardcore rubbing
    He asked me if I wanted to do it for him
    I of course said no
    Then he started going off
    About how he can only release when thinking of me
    And how much better it'd be if I actually did it for him
    And how he waited his whole life for this moment
    I still refused
    So he asked if I could atleast get naked
    Like an 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' type thing
    And you know
    I wouldn't consider this embarrassing for me
    If it wasn't for the fact
    That he isn't the only friend of mine
    Who does it thinking of me
    Also for the fact
    That he started describing vividly
    What he thought I looked like naked...

  13. YourWorthIt YourWorthIt
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 12:20am UTC
    Fourth week of school. My backpack is so heavy that I can't even pick it up. I have to drag it around everywhere. Theres so much homework. I barly have time to get on witty:(

  14. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 5:33pm UTC
    I remember on my first period, I tried denying it
    But I came home only to find more blood.

  15. Rose :)* Rose :)*
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2013 9:56pm UTC
    That annoying moment when you start the same sentace three times but someone keeps interrupting you

  16. itsnoteasy itsnoteasy
    posted a quote
    July 11, 2013 10:26pm UTC
    Do you have a band-aid?
    Good, cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

  17. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2013 3:13pm UTC
    I wonder about myself sometimes.

  18. Cameron* Cameron*
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 7:07am UTC
    For a woman to be sexy to society, you have to:
    1) Wear something that shows off as much skin as possible.
    2) A shirt that makes your cleavage look like two sterioded watermelons duct tapped to your chest.
    3) Pants that make your butt look like two blown up drums.
    4) Lots of make-up.

  19. brightlikeadiamond brightlikeadiamond
    posted a quote
    May 28, 2013 5:17pm UTC
    hey, whenever you feel upset just remember that,
    when life gets you down just go up

  20. Parrotfish* Parrotfish*
    posted a quote
    April 21, 2013 11:46am UTC
    When I have kids,
    I want twins
    and I'm going to name them
    "Too" and "two"
    and if they have to do a group project for school
    and they're not in the same group,
    I'm going to email the teacher and be like
    "You know I'm just really suprised that you couldn't put
    Too and Two together."
    And then I'll laugh and re-name my children.


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