Coolstorybro Quotes

Vinita*
posted a quote
November 12, 2014 7:14pm UTC

Me: I really want to be a model.
Friend: You're gonna have to get rid of your acne.
Me: That's what photoshop is for.

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*AngelsAreBadass*
posted a quote
January 10, 2014 10:54pm UTC

I now realize that my profile pic shouldnt be an anime girl angel, no matter how bad-A.I came to this realization after being asked out by a guy that thought i was lying when i told him i was a dude. Sorry bro.

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*AngelsAreBadass*
posted a quote
September 6, 2013 5:29pm UTC

I hate it when my friends all get together and theyre all sharing stories about their worst injuries/accidents, and theyre like "one time i made a pipe bomb but it exploded in my hand" or "I was skating down the road at 30 mph, right?" and I'm just like
"Well, there was this one time that i tripped over the rug and scraped my knee..."

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Vinita*
posted a quote
September 4, 2013 7:10pm UTC

So I was at McDonalds. And these teenagers thought that I was 4 years older than I actually am. And I was like,"Dam this bra stuffing is working."

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 22, 2013 3:16pm UTC

When I realize my mother isn't listening to me
Me: So yeah, and at school-
Mom: uh huh, that's nice honey
Me: I gave birth to a salamander and I named him Chester; he's actually an asian salamander.
Mom: That's nice
Me: I'm done

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Plusle_N_Minun
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 7:05pm UTC

I want a shirt that has a unicorn on it that says
I may look innocent but I will stab you.

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kristabff
posted a quote
May 22, 2013 8:33pm UTC

Cool lesson teacher,
teach it again.

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Livy*
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 12:35pm UTC

I'm not saying I am Batman
Just that no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room...
♥

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Livy*
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 10:24pm UTC

You are my jelly to my burger,
the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream.
My point is, you're worthless.
♥

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Livy*
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 10:21pm UTC

Telling a girl to calm down
is like trying to baptize a cat.
♥

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omgitsglish*
posted a quote
March 9, 2013 9:59pm UTC

hey wittians! I need your help. I have to make an anti smoking ad in school. Which slogan should I use?
1. They don't kill you until you light them
2. Life leaves you gasping for air, just like me.
Also, feel free to leave other suggestions down below :D thanks!

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omgitsglish*
posted a quote
March 9, 2013 9:42pm UTC

Nobody can make you happy,
Until you're happy with yourself.

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