China Quotes

dapz95
posted a quote
February 2, 2014 4:19pm UTC

DAMAGED GOODS
are so much more valuable
purely because
you know they're survivors

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Ayee_Itss_Eric
posted a quote
December 23, 2013 3:00pm UTC

Playdoh, fun to play with, not to eat. Now if only China had the same logic with dogs

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Ninja918
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 10:40pm UTC

It's not a Great Wall.
It's and alright wall.
It's the Alright Wall of China.

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Phishy
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 8:55am UTC

Why is it made in the USA
but not in the China
or in the the Myanmar?
(that's a real place, look it up)

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 10:13am UTC

America:
Making my way downtown
America: Walking fast
China: Hey America you owe me money--
America: Walking faster

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mtndewhm*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 10:05pm UTC

If I ever tell you that something is my favorite song don't listen to me I'm a fúcking liar I have more favorite songs than there are babies in China.

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Misunderstood1997
posted a quote
September 25, 2013 3:57pm UTC

If you could measure ugliness in bricks I would be the great wall of China.

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DeathlyHallows
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 8:34pm UTC

You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue.
Somehow I'll make a man
Out of you.

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BluRoseHeart*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 10:42pm UTC

God made Every person different...
He got tired by the time he got to China.
(please do not take this offensive because I thought it was funny, thank you ^_^ )

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AnonymousGirl98
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 5:02pm UTC

God only created life.Everything else was made in China...

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kristabff
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 7:35pm UTC

What if the fancy plates and
silverware we use is only called 'china' because china built cameras in them and is spying on us from the cameras oh

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Rach_K
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 4:06pm UTC

If your parents were into traveling, and you were conceived in China,
would that make you 'made in China'?

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 11:56pm UTC

Mom: You can only bring one suitcase back from China.
Mom: So you have to leave a lot of stuff there.
Mom: Oh, and bring all my makeup products back, will you?

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 12:50am UTC

Today my grandpa and I went for a ride in his electrically powered cart with three wheels that can somehow move. Its maximum speed is about 20 mph. You have to slow down when you turn the corners, or else the cart will flip over. But, when you hit the brakes, they make a horribly loud squeaking sound.
Me and Grandpa: *drives through a dark tunnel at 20 mph*
Me: *hears a very loud honking sound*
Me: *turns around*
Me: *sees semitruck bearing down on us at 50 mph*
Me: OH MY GOSH
Me: WE'RE HERE! WE'RE HERE!
Me: DON'T RUN US OVER
Me and Grandpa: *driving up a small mountain*
Cart: I shall now troll you.
Cart: *stops*
Cart: *rolls backwards*
Grandpa: *hits brakes*
Me: *cringes*
Grandpa: It's running out of battery.
Grandpa: *gets out*
Grandpa: We have to push it now.
Us: *pushes the cart up the mountain*
Us: *sees random tourist couple*
Random Tourist Couple: *gets on motorcycle*
Me: Stop making me jealous.
Me and Grandpa: *gets to the top of the mountain after an hour*
Grandpa: Look, there's a government weather station here.
Me:
Me: Isn't there supposed to be a pagoda at the top?
Grandpa: Yeah.
Grandpa: We went up the wrong mountain.
Me:
Me: Can we go there today?
Grandpa: No. The cart's going to run out of battery.
Grandpa: And then we won't be able to go home.
Me: *mentally facepalms*
Me and Grandpa: *hears whistling sound*
*random guy comes out of a house*
Random Guy: *walks past us to the check the weather*
Random Guy: *wonders why two random people are sitting right outside the weather station*
One hour later...
Me and Grandpa: *goes home*
Me, Grandpa, Grandma, and Grandpa's Big Sister: *eats lunch*
Grandpa: That cart is a really nice cart.

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 4:31am UTC

Why Everyone Hates Mosquitoes
My parents: Oh no! We forgot to pack mosquito repellent for when you go to China!
Me: It's okay. I'll just let the mosquitoes bite me.
Me: How bad can it be?
Me: *flies to China*
Me: *goes to grandma's house*
Me: *gets ten mosquito bites*
Me: They're not that itchy.
Me: *gets fifteen mosquito bites*
Me: They're fine as long as I don't scratch them. *scratches one until it leaves a hole in my finger*
Me: *gets twenty mosquito bites*
Me: Must stop scratching. *scratches mosquito bites until they bleed*
Me: *gets twenty-five mosquito bites*.
Me: *starts slapping myself to stop scratching*
Me: *wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a mosquito buzzing next to my ear*
Me: AAAGH!
Me: *pulls covers over my face*
Mosquito: Oh no you don't.
Mosquito: *flies in through the gaps*
Mosquito: *bites my forehead*
Mosquito: *bites my cheeks*
Mosquito: *bites my chin*
Me: *slaps own face to kill mosquito*
Me: *misses epically*
Mosquito: *buzzes annoyingly away*
Me: *runs downstairs to get the electric mosquito swatter*
Me: *lays awake trying to electrocute mosquito*
Mosquito: *buzzes next to my face*
Me: *violently swings mosquito swatter around*
Me: *hits self*
Me: Oww.........
Me: *sees mosquito*
Me: *swings mosquito swatter*
Mosquito: *gets electrocuted and dies*
Me: GOTCHA
Me: *lays down again*
Me: *hears another mosquito*
Me: Why.
The Next Morning
My Grandma: Don't scratch your forehead. You have really big pimples.
Me: They're mosquito bites.
My Grandma:
My Grandma: Oh.
Another true story.

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Lifehappens
posted a quote
June 7, 2013 7:55pm UTC

嘿诙谐的人，如果你能读到这句话没有谷歌翻译，我会很惊讶
No google translate

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Awkward3564
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 9:25pm UTC

Did you know
"Hasma" is a popular dessert item in China said to improve skin complexion -- It's made from the dried fallopian tubes of frogs.

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ggllamas
posted a quote
May 17, 2013 11:06pm UTC

This man is in china and he hears a beautiful noise, the sound is so amazing he has to know what it is so then he asks an old man and the old man said "you have to be a monk to know what the sound is."
So the man trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and trains and in 100 years he becomes a monk.
The monk goes back to the man and asks again "what is that beautiful sound?" the man replies "follow me."
The monk goes with him to a staircase and they go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door.
The old man forgot his keys so they have to go back down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down
The man and monk get the keys and they go back up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and upup and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door
The door is opened to reveal more stairs so they go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door
The man forgot his keys again so they have to go down down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and get the keys
they get the key and come back up and up up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and upup and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door
They open the door to find more stairs and they go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door
the men are hungry so they go back down down down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and get food
They eat and this time the man remembers the key and they go up and up up and up and up and and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and upup and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up untill they reach a large door
the man opens the final door and do you wnat to know what the sound was......
You need to be a monk to find out!

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AEleanore
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 4:25pm UTC

Everything's made in China
except for babies.
Those are made in
Va-China...

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Shorty_Helps
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 3:27pm UTC

*At home*
Me: Mom come here!
Mom: Okay.
*Takes a shower, makes supper, goes on a walk, reads 2 Harry Potter books, pays bills, listens to music, watches tv, goes to China and back.*
Mom: Honey, come here!
Me: Okay!
*Breathes*
Mom: OMG IVE ASKED YOU TO COME HERE. I EXPECT YOU TO COME RIGHT AWAY. YOU'RE SUCH A DISGRACE CHILD. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

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China Quotes