Best China Quotes Today

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 9:54am UTC

If countries were students
Australia: The class clown who makes everyone laugh
The United States: The jock who loves themselves and everyone secretly hates
Canada: The nice person who offers to show you around on your first day
England: The hot boy everybody wants to bang because he's a gentleman
New Zealand: Australia's little brother who is the only one who thinks Australia sucks
France: The romantic playboy who hangs around England too much
China: The overly smart kid who puts his hand up for every question
Russia: The scary large kid that nobody talks to because they'll probably get stabbed

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 10:13am UTC

America:
Making my way downtown
America: Walking fast
China: Hey America you owe me money--
America: Walking faster

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kowhyda*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 11:49am UTC

My dad at a Turkish store:
Dad: -to a worker- So everything here is made in Turkey, right?
Worker: Yes, everything is from Turkey.
Dad: Really? Everything?
Worker: Mhmm.
Dad: Oh, okay then.
Dad: -picks up box-
Dad: -turns box over and reads back-
Dad: Made in China
Worker:
Dad:
Worker:
Dad:
Worker:
Dad:
Dad: Yup, everything's from Turkey alright.
Dad: If Turkey was in China.

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kristabff
posted a quote
July 31, 2013 7:35pm UTC

What if the fancy plates and
silverware we use is only called 'china' because china built cameras in them and is spying on us from the cameras oh

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Shorty_Helps
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 3:27pm UTC

*At home*
Me: Mom come here!
Mom: Okay.
*Takes a shower, makes supper, goes on a walk, reads 2 Harry Potter books, pays bills, listens to music, watches tv, goes to China and back.*
Mom: Honey, come here!
Me: Okay!
*Breathes*
Mom: OMG IVE ASKED YOU TO COME HERE. I EXPECT YOU TO COME RIGHT AWAY. YOU'RE SUCH A DISGRACE CHILD. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

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Rach_K
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 4:06pm UTC

If your parents were into traveling, and you were conceived in China,
would that make you 'made in China'?

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dapz95
posted a quote
February 2, 2014 4:19pm UTC

DAMAGED GOODS
are so much more valuable
purely because
you know they're survivors

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Ninja918
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 10:40pm UTC

It's not a Great Wall.
It's and alright wall.
It's the Alright Wall of China.

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mtndewhm*

posted a quote
October 5, 2013 10:05pm UTC

If I ever tell you that something is my favorite song don't listen to me I'm a fúcking liar I have more favorite songs than there are babies in China.

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DeathlyHallows
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 8:34pm UTC

You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue.
Somehow I'll make a man
Out of you.

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Secret42
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 6:41pm UTC

I wonder what they call Chineese food in China.They probably just say,"Here,have some of that food we always have.
~Dear dumb diary
My quote.Do NOT steal

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AEleanore
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 4:25pm UTC

Everything's made in China
except for babies.
Those are made in
Va-China...

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AnonymousGirl98
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 5:02pm UTC

God only created life.Everything else was made in China...

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Blue_Rose
posted a quote
February 18, 2013 8:32pm UTC

She's so fake.
I bet,
if you look on the bottom of her foot,
it'll say,
MADE IN CHINA.

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Raynniee
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 8:16pm UTC

God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.

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BluRoseHeart*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 10:42pm UTC

God made Every person different...
He got tired by the time he got to China.
(please do not take this offensive because I thought it was funny, thank you ^_^ )

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Ayee_Itss_Eric
posted a quote
December 23, 2013 3:00pm UTC

Playdoh, fun to play with, not to eat. Now if only China had the same logic with dogs

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 4:31am UTC

Why Everyone Hates Mosquitoes
My parents: Oh no! We forgot to pack mosquito repellent for when you go to China!
Me: It's okay. I'll just let the mosquitoes bite me.
Me: How bad can it be?
Me: *flies to China*
Me: *goes to grandma's house*
Me: *gets ten mosquito bites*
Me: They're not that itchy.
Me: *gets fifteen mosquito bites*
Me: They're fine as long as I don't scratch them. *scratches one until it leaves a hole in my finger*
Me: *gets twenty mosquito bites*
Me: Must stop scratching. *scratches mosquito bites until they bleed*
Me: *gets twenty-five mosquito bites*.
Me: *starts slapping myself to stop scratching*
Me: *wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a mosquito buzzing next to my ear*
Me: AAAGH!
Me: *pulls covers over my face*
Mosquito: Oh no you don't.
Mosquito: *flies in through the gaps*
Mosquito: *bites my forehead*
Mosquito: *bites my cheeks*
Mosquito: *bites my chin*
Me: *slaps own face to kill mosquito*
Me: *misses epically*
Mosquito: *buzzes annoyingly away*
Me: *runs downstairs to get the electric mosquito swatter*
Me: *lays awake trying to electrocute mosquito*
Mosquito: *buzzes next to my face*
Me: *violently swings mosquito swatter around*
Me: *hits self*
Me: Oww.........
Me: *sees mosquito*
Me: *swings mosquito swatter*
Mosquito: *gets electrocuted and dies*
Me: GOTCHA
Me: *lays down again*
Me: *hears another mosquito*
Me: Why.
The Next Morning
My Grandma: Don't scratch your forehead. You have really big pimples.
Me: They're mosquito bites.
My Grandma:
My Grandma: Oh.
Another true story.

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Chloe149
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 12:57pm UTC

Hey guys,
I just want to bring to attention the earthquake in China.
The quake was among the deadliest China has seen in the past three years.
The China Earthquake Administration said that 188 people had died, another
25 remain missing and more than 11,000 were injured. These people have lost eveything.
Since I never see this mentioned, can I just take the time to say:
Pray For China

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Shanaynor
posted a quote
April 3, 2013 10:22pm UTC

I'm the type of person who can eat chinese food every day and not get tired of it.

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Best China Quotes Today