Me: Why am i still single? I need a boyfriend! Friend: Well you know good things come to those who wait. Me: I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!! Friend: Me: Friend: Me: Friend: THAT is why you're single.
I was hungry so i decided to buy some animal crackers .. Cashier guy: Ok that will be 1.39 Me: Uh can i get a bag please? Cashier guy: *gives me weird look but gives me a small bag* Me: Thank you i think people might look at me funny if they saw me carrying around animal crackers.. Cashier guy: What.. just be like "YEAH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS PROBLEM!?" Cashier guy: (as I'm leaving) DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL! Made my day..
I opened up a random book and I found something at the front page that surprised me pleasantly. " I want to thank everyone who helped me create this book, except for that guy who yelled at me in Kmart when I was eight because he thought I was being too rowdy. You're an a$$hole, sir. "
Me and best friend texting: Me:There were some good laughs in class today Friend:Why what happened? Me:The girl sitting next to me on the desk wanted to use her scraper but it wasn't working and she started hitting in on the desk till our teacher was like "Sarah!Would you like it if i banged you on the table?"
Mom:Hey that band you like is on tv Me:*Bashes through my door* Me:*Trips downstairs* Me:*Slips on the floor* Me:*Runs into wall* Me:*Army rolls through the kitchen* Me:*Skids around the corner* Me:*Dives onto sofa* Me:SHUT UP OR I'LL MURDER YOU ALL
*20 years from now* Daughter:Hey mom i like this band- Me:OMG I'm so sorry Daughter:Sorry? Me:I'll call the teachers. Daughter:Why are y- Me:To let them know your grades will be dropping. Daughter:Why will- Me:I'm afraid it's all down hill from here. Daughter:What are you talking ab- Me:You might as well say goodbye to your friends. Daughter:But i- Me:Want me to help you with your blog? Daughter:I don't have a- Me:You will. Daughter:But- Me:Shh.It's already done.There's no trurning back.