Girl: I want a guy who is perfect and laughs at my jokes because they're all obviously halarious and screams my name no matter how many people tell him to shut up because they don't understand our love and will watch chickflicks with me and will use his spidy-senses to know when I'm on my period and give me chocolate and pads and tampons and Diva cups and sugar and the notebook and who will hug me from behind and will tell me I'm beautiful and will let me wear his jacket and will open doors for me.
Me: I'd like somebody who isn't an asabcshole.