Me: * Sees a spider *
Me: * Tries to squish it with a pillow.*
Dad: That poor spider.
Me: What?
Dad: He probably had a family.
Me: Don't try and make me feel guilty.
Dad: He was so young.
Me: It's not going to work.
Dad: You murderer..
Me: No, I'm not!
Dad: You took a life.
Me: But it's a spider!!!
Dad: An innocent spider.
Me: But...
Dad: Apologies to his children.
Me: I'm not listening.
Dad: He might even have grandchildren.
Me: What?!
Dad: Their dad won't be coming home tonight.
Me: How do you even know it's gender.
Dad: I thought I raised you better...
Me: OKAY, OKAY. I'M REALLY SORRY MR.SPIDER. I WON'T HURT YOU ANYMORE>
* Spider gets up and walks away.
Dad: 
Me:
Spider:
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me: HE.WASN'T.EVEN.DEAD o_e