Witty Profiles

Phoebe*

1. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   February 18, 2013 2:26pm UTC
   Wow. The last time I heard that joke I laughed so hard
   I fell off my dinosaur.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points
2. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   September 1, 2012 2:59pm UTC
   Just give it some time.
   Things will get better, I promise you that.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
3. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 24, 2012 4:41pm UTC
   Mom: You haven't left the house all week.
   Me: So? I have a laptop. That's good enough.
   Mom: Just go and get a life!
   Me: A life? Cool, where can I download one?
   Mom:
   Mom:
   Mom:
   Mom: I'm gonna go and talk to your sister now.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 59 points
4. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 16, 2012 2:27pm UTC
   There's two types of people,
   those who finish what they start and..
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
5. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2012 10:24pm UTC
   Whenever your upset
   just picture Glenn Coco giving you four candy canes.♥
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
6. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2012 1:04pm UTC
   Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home first.
   Me: *Throws school bag out the window*
   Teacher: Alright, who did that?!
   Me: I did, now I'm going home
   trololololol, saw this on facebook.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 725 points
7. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2012 12:11pm UTC
   So then he handcuffed me and said,
   "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
   So I said,
   Channing Tatum
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points
8. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2012 3:34am UTC
   Plot Twist: You like the way things turn out in the end.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
9. Phoebe*
   posted a quote
   July 27, 2012 12:40am UTC
   If I told you I
   I want your body now
   Would you hold it
   against me?
   ♥♥♥♥
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
10. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 12:21am UTC
    So I'm invisible now?
    Thats cool. I've always wanted to have a superpower.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points
11. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2012 1:38pm UTC
    While you sit on thin air,
    // I'll be walking on broken glass \\
    And I'll still be stronger than you will ever be.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
12. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 8:57pm UTC
    stop calling yourself hot,
    the only thing you turn on is the microwave.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 22 points
13. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2012 4:33pm UTC
    Hey , you know why your new girlfriend likes your d*ck so much?
    Ummm , why ...?
    Because her mother told her to enjoy the little things in life.
    F*ck you.
    nmf/nmq
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
14. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 12, 2012 10:10pm UTC
    I honestly don't remember
    what I did on the internet before Witty ...
    ♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
15. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 11, 2012 7:56pm UTC
    *In Class*
    Me: Can I use the bathroom ?
    Teacher: What for ?
    Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS , what do you think ?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points
16. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2012 9:33pm UTC
    You want a
    perfect girl ?
    Then go and buy
    A Barbie doll
    format credit: notyouraverageteenagegirl
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
17. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2012 6:32pm UTC
    My pet rock has been acting weird lately ,
    I think it's stoned ...
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 37 points
18. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2012 5:42pm UTC
    In A Year , There Are
    31,556,926 seconds,.
    525,948 minutes.,
    8,766 hours.,.
    I think about you all that time...
    I Love you , food♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
19. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2012 3:53pm UTC
    I only clapped
    because it was
    finished , not because
    it was good.
    ♥♥♥♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points
20. Phoebe*
    posted a quote
    July 7, 2012 8:07pm UTC
    Bully: You're asking for it , do you wanna mouth full of fist ?!
    Me: Do you want a butt full of foot ?!
    Bully: .....
    Dad: Sweetie , you're sister's going away , go say bye !
    Me: Pip pip doodly doo !
    Dad: .....
    Brother: I just got you 1D tickets !
    Me: HUG ME BROTHA !!!!!
    Brother: ....
    Mom: You didn't do the dishes like you told me ?!
    Me: Are you calling me a liar ?!
    Mom: Well I ain't calling you a truther !
    Me: ...this is why I love you.
    nmf/
    all mine♥
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1415 points

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