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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 1:41am UTC

my guy tried to open the door for me but he was looking at/talking to me so it took him like 5 tries to actually grab the door handle and when he finally opened it i walked into the damn door frame
we're more coordinated than you.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 1:45am UTC

this one time a dude at school came up to me and said "hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven" and without missing a beat i replied, "no but i did chip my nailpolish when i crawled my way up from the fiery pits of hell with my army of demons behind me" and he just went really quiet and he hasn't bothered me since

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Ethanol
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 10:39am UTC

Feelings of romantic love are, in the end,
just some chemical reactions.
// Under the right conditions, they occur no matter who the other person is.

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cujo*
posted a quote
October 18, 2013 6:50am UTC

as the devil spoke, we
spilled out on the floor
and the pieces broke and
the people wanted more
˙·٠•●Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ●•٠·˙

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cujo*
posted a quote
October 18, 2013 7:07am UTC

and if you're still breathing,
you are the lucky ones
cause most of us are heaving
through corrupted lungs
setting fire to our insides for
fun. collecting names of the
lovers that went wrong

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 12:54am UTC

i think everyone should consider that the reason straight boys pretend they can't tell if other boys are handsome or not is because most straight boys don't know how to give compliments to people without expecting s.e.x in return~~~

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 1:00am UTC

if you are a boy who immediately says "not all boys are like that!" when girls talk about harassment/disrespect/being objectified/being treated badly/being made to feel unimportant by men
- you are disregarding their hurt and fear and shame
- you are trying to make yourself into the victim when you are not and never will be
- you are treating their issues as unimportant
- you are looking for sympathy you don't need instead of trying to make the situation better for them
you have just proved that you are exactly like that.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 12:50pm UTC

what happens when you put nutella on salmon?
you get samonella.
hahahahahahahahaha
someone date me plz

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mtndewhm*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 6:38pm UTC

MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DON'T GIVE A
*whispers quietly so my parents can't hear me*
frick
*Police sirens*
*Helicopter blades*
[Gavin screaming}
Random stranger: Who the fück is Gavin?
Random reporter: And now the weather

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 7:22pm UTC

I'M NOT A BADA.SS, BUT I WOULDNT MIND BEING BAD IN YOUR A.SS
i'M SO SORRY THIS WAS A DARE

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br0kenwings
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 1:14am UTC

She was pretty, about seventeen,
WHEN SHE MOVED IN JUST DOWN MY STREET.
Still don't know what she saw in me.
I guess she liked the way I made her laugh;
She wanted more than what friends had.
She kissed me once
and we never looked back.
Please don't remove this!

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of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:51pm UTC

Me: *pours vodka over pancakes*

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 9:35pm UTC

Sad
@teenanime
Follow
I give 0 fücks about your double frappe shot of soy with two pumps of choco carmel rainbow sprinkled mocha bullshît
********* please do not remove the credit, this format was made by petrichor :-) ALSO DO NOT REMOVE THIS PART EITHER BECAUSE THIS IS THE CREDIT TOO OKAY
← Reply
↵ Retweet
★ Favorite
••• More

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lovefree15
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:33pm UTC

Don't go bacon my heart
I couldn't if I fried

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brookeleigh626
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:33pm UTC

Smacked Dora with a pan
now she's pandora.

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CookieMonster09*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:00pm UTC

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay, he woke up.

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kristabff
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:00pm UTC

I HAVE 666 FOLLOWERS
GUYS THIS IS SO COINCIDENTAL BECAUSE I MADE A QUOTE ABOUT ME BEING SATAN YESTERDAY AND NOW I HAVE 666 FOLLOWERS IM FREAKING OUT
THIS IS RAD AS HECKKKK
or shall i say, rad as hell

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 6:39pm UTC

and here we have my english teacher's favourite pun
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

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dolph*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 1:09pm UTC

*stops running* i…i.. *puts hands on knees* i can’t *panting* keep up with the kardashians

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 100 points

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