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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 6:27pm UTC

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. they were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaning that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and "kick it up a notch." The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mail man was dead on the porch.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 285 points

ForeverDreaminggg
posted a quote
July 7, 2013 1:39pm UTC

RIP Mom
Who would have ever thought that this would happen, im used to being the one comforting everyone else.
Now this is my situation and im bombarded with apologies and concerns.
Just rest easy up there.
11/18/66 - 7/7/13
Dont EVER under appreciate your parents, love them and always remind them that.
They could be taken away from you at anytime.
Were so focused on growing up, we forget there growing old.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 37 points

^_^*
posted a quote
July 7, 2013 11:32am UTC

Waiting until your parents are in a good
mood before asking them for something you want.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 6:15pm UTC

*someone cute walks past me*
me: nooo babe, come back. i love you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 431 points

WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 8:32pm UTC

My mum complained that I've never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger.
Apparently, it was the wrong one.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 580 points

xSweetSorrow
posted a quote
July 8, 2013 8:45am UTC

"I think I might be addicted to lollipops..."
I told myself as I unwrapped my 6th lollipop and
waited for the lunch bell to ring.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 3:25pm UTC

Any pain
you are going through right now;
it will end.
Take a deep breath.
Think of that one, bright, happy thing in your life
and smile.
Live another day.
It’s worth it.
Trust me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 256 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
March 14, 2013 9:17pm UTC

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
I want to hit you with my car
Throw you off a tree so high
Hope you snap your neck and die
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 7:18pm UTC

I never understood why 6 got
so upset when 7 8 9, but then I remembered that 6 and 9 have a special relationship.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 350 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 11:21am UTC

Have you ever had a romantic dream about someone you know and
woken up with a huge temporary crush on them and you're just like, "Where did this come from?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 393 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 21, 2013 5:55pm UTC

Please don't flirt with people I secretly like.
It's rude and disrespectful.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 383 points

Heyitspoppy
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 5:07am UTC

click to see this quote

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Adlisa138
posted a quote
July 5, 2013 6:50pm UTC

That Awkward Moment When You've Already Said "What?" Three Times
And Still Have No Idea What The Person Said, So You Just Agree.-

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

1DisSleepingWithSirens_
posted a quote
July 5, 2013 9:13pm UTC

♪
nahnahnahnahnahnahnah
Lucyfacex,yo!
wooooooooooyieeeeeeeeww
pepepepeppepepepepeppieeww
listening to music
to get away from the pain..
NMF

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 19, 2012 7:26pm UTC

OMG GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT
WHY HIS NAME IS 'STITCH'
a stitch is a piece of thread that is
sown to hold something together.
stitch holds lilo's family together.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1351 points

blankwolf*

posted a quote
December 4, 2012 10:21pm UTC

How to tell who has been stalking your Facebook profile.
1. Go to Facebook.com
2. Right click anywhere on the page.
3. Click "View page source"
4. Press CTRL + F and type "orderedfriends"
5. Copy the first series of numbers in quotation marks below it.
6. Open another tab, go to Facebook.com/(paste the number here)
7. The first number is the person that's been on your profile the most,
the second the second most, and so on.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1562 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
June 11, 2012 2:48pm UTC

You have no idea
How many times I've tried to tell you the truth through my jokes.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1753 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 8, 2012 10:28pm UTC

They should print books with
glow-in-the-dark ink so you can read at night.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1841 points

audreyann
posted a quote
November 1, 2010 4:07pm UTC

I have a secret mission for those of you who just highlighted this. Here's what you have to do:
1. Fave the quote so the helplessly confused will be wondering why a blank quote is so loved <3
2. Comment saying something random like "I like reeses, too!"
or "OMG, I love love love elephants!"
or "I wish I had an I love my mom tattoo!"
3. Yay! You're done! Let's see what happens...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11781 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 25, 2013 12:40pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Are oranges called orange because they are orange,
or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 216 points

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