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unbalanced
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 6:06pm UTC

mom: *calls my name*
me: *closes computer, gets up, opens door, walks downstairs, jumps through hoop of fire, fights muhammad ali in his prime, wrestles a bear, out runs usain bolt, climbs mount everest*
mom: Hand me that thing literally 5 feet from where I'm sitting.
me:

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jimmy365
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:29pm UTC

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you your heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

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littlemisssarcasm
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 12:25pm UTC

O
A drop in the ocean,A change in the weather,I was praying that you and me might end up together.It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,But I'm holding you closer than most,'Cause you are my heaven. ♥

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OneDirectionQuotes
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 9:37pm UTC

"We have group crying sessions with icecream."
-Zayn Malik

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Stereo_of_Hearts_
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 4:08pm UTC

i wanna be prettier
i wanna be skinnier
i wanna be nicer
i wanna be funnier
i wanna be sportier
i wanna be cooler
i wanna be popular
i wanna be creative
i wanna be a favorite
but mostly...
i wanna be HER

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Jemma96
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 3:25pm UTC

Roses are deckchairs,
The sea is potato,
This poem makes no sense,
Boobs.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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rissa7373
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 8:32am UTC

Parents: I have such a beautiful daughter.
Kids at school: Who is this deformed potatoe?

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pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 1:05pm UTC

There are kids out there who are...
Addicted to cigarettes.
Addicted to alcohol.
Addicted to drugs.
Getting pregnant.
But me? I sleep all day.
My parents should be proud.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 535 points

Sebastian_isTheName
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 11:38pm UTC

All these hot singles in my area want to meet me!
Probably because all the free iPads I've won...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 293 points

rissa7373
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 2:05pm UTC

Me: Hey, can you pick up some milk on your way home?
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me: She's not answering me.
Me: She must have went to check her phone and swerved into oncoming traffic.
Me: I killed her
Me: I killed my mom.

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.*
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 3:26pm UTC

I'm 99.9 percent sure he doesn't like me
That 0.1 percent keeps me going
♥

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RainDancer96
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 9:56pm UTC

click to see this quote

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Kyla_xo
posted a quote
April 20, 2012 2:45pm UTC

Saying "It's cause i'm black isn't it?"
when your actually white..

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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musicXisXsoulXX
posted a quote
April 19, 2012 8:17pm UTC

-finished first page of test-
*flips paper over loudly so everyone knows i'm ahead of them*

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michhhhaela
posted a quote
April 15, 2012 10:50am UTC

click to see this quote

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mick
posted a quote
April 15, 2012 8:43am UTC

There's always the one beautiful girl, who doesn't have a boyfriend, and you can't understand why.

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mayday
posted a quote
April 14, 2012 9:29pm UTC

I want to wear your sweatshirt
TO BED, WATCH SCARY
[x][x][x] movies with you, talk on the phone till sunrise, [x][x][x]
sneak out at night to look at the
stars with you. ♥

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