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k8yt

yourcool
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 7:52pm UTC

if you're pretty and on witty i'm gonna
have to ask you to leave because you could be out getting a boyfriend and having a social life, take advantage of this moment while you have it

👍 this is good · read the comments · 149 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 7:35pm UTC

i hate it when people call their grandparents
weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami

👍 this is good · read the comments · 169 points

cmayl11
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 2:13pm UTC

if i ever went on a shopping trip where
i was the only one in the mall and everything was free, i'd probably hit the food court first.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 169 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 9:30pm UTC

i had an exam today and to brighten the mood,
i decided to play a game on everyone else. every ten minutes, i would ask for more paper even though i didn't actually need it. the fear in the eyes of my fellow classmates as they thought i was on my 10th page of my essay whilst they were on their first was priceless

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 191 points

happiest*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 5:03pm UTC

If I found out I only had a week to live,
and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 182 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:19pm UTC

"All girls are the same."
Actually, we're not. The only thing we have in common is what is between our legs, and that probably won't be you if you say that again.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 204 points

GRACEROCKS
posted a quote
May 12, 2013 9:44pm UTC

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
(Oh this is GOOD!!)?
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

happiest*
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 3:18pm UTC

"How was the test?"
"I failed..."
ENEMY - HAHAHAHA! Serves you right!
FRIEND - Okay...
GOOD FRIEND - Aww cheer up. You'll do better next time.
BEST FRIEND - HAHAHAHA! I FAILED TOO! HIGH-FIVE!
Best friends are awesome!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 4:34pm UTC

Girl: I hate blood. It makes me pass out.
Me: What about.. Then.. How.. You can't.. But.. You're a girl.. And your.. Monthly.. Sucks to suck, dude.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 224 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:05pm UTC

Other girls; Puts on smokey eye makeup *Looks like sexgod*
Me; Puts on smokey eye makeup *Hello raccoons I believe we're family*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 289 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 6:56pm UTC

roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic.
but no, this is just gardening facts.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 207 points

happiest*
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 1:55pm UTC

isn't it funny, how
from year to year you don't see
much of a difference in yourself,
physical or emotional, then
suddenly you look back and you are a
completely changed person.
it's like watching the hour hand on a clock,
you don't really see it move
but it's changing
all the time.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 196 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 7:19pm UTC

uno is a great card game it's just filled with
smiles and laughter and numbers and colors and everything is right in the world until someone skips you because then it gets real f.cking personal real f.cking fast

👍 this is good · read the comments · 218 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 10:04pm UTC

hey followers,
is everyone feeling okay??? do you want some tea??? hot chocolate??? *puts in your favorite movie* *wraps you in fluffy blankets* *kisses your forehead* *whispers* i love you so much i just want everyone to be happy and safe
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 218 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 7:18pm UTC

I never understood why 6 got
so upset when 7 8 9, but then I remembered that 6 and 9 have a special relationship.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 350 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 11:36am UTC

BravoSierra's format
When a girl says "I'm cold,"
Don't be stupid and say "me, too."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 235 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 11:30am UTC

BravoSierra's format
What if oxygen is poison,
and it just takes 70 - 100 years to kill us?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 260 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
May 12, 2013 8:43pm UTC

I was having Chinese food for dinner and this is what my fortune cookie said:
"Come back later... I am sleeping. (Yes, cookies need their sleep, too)"
...what even?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 282 points

happiest*
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 2:08pm UTC

it's hard being the ugly friend.
the one who isn't the best at flirting,
the one with the smallest boobs,
the one who is sometimes afraid to go places because they're afraid to be left out.
the one who hasn't had a boyfriend in about 2 years.
the one who hasn't had their proper first kiss.
the self conscious one.
the one who helps out with everyone else's problems, but can never rely on anyone else to help them.
the one who - yeah.. just the ugly friend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 325 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 5:37pm UTC

Reasons to date me
-I can pick stuff up with my feet, sometimes
-I've never killed a man
-I once got 95% on Guitar Hero
-You can play with my hair
-I'm cheaper than a puppy

👍 this is good · read the comments · 335 points

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