a list of things that i wish i had never had to say
(a.k.a "why is my life the way that my life is")
(on the phone to my mother) "i think one of the tadpoles just
ate the other five. they're all gone and it's the only one
left in the tank. oh, god, i think it might have just exploded."
(to the lady at the pet shop) "so my sister's pet tadpoles
ate each other, i kind of need some replacements before
she gets home"
(to a boy) "no, your girlfriend is not cheating on you with me-
yes, i'm certain about that."
(to a teacher) "we accidentally photocopied our faces and
printed it off 300 times, is there any way to cancel it?"
(to alex) "i will not go out for pizza with you if you wear oven
gloves as slippers. no, i don't care if you can't find your shoes."
(to eoghan) "standing on a table and giving out free 'swag
lessons' to ten year olds is not something we do at school"
(to my sister) "no, a group of elderly people is not called a
'herd of elderlys'. please stop calling them that when
they walk past."
(to my idiot relatives) "japan is actually not a continent."
(to my cat) "why must you stand on top of doors and
throw yourself on to peoples heads as they walk past?"
(to then-boyfriend) "no, that's not a furry demon. yes, that's
my cat. she does that sometimes."
(to jack) "have you finally overcome your addiction to
rubbing my chin dimple when i'm talkin- oh no i suppose
not."
(to eliza) "i'm not saying that we accidentally clicked on
a p/orn site on your mothers computer but we might have
done and it's frozen now hELP"
(to my maths teacher) "i'm sorry for bringing a kettle
to class but there's a plug at the back of the room and
we really wanted some tea."
(to a boy) "i know my friend threw a shoe at you but she
felt like it was a good idea at the time."
(to my art teacher) "james and i kind of painted each others
faces blue and we can't get it off and we're not really sure
how to feel about that."
(to a zoo keeper) "that giraffe just licked my eyeball, is that safe?"
(to my science teacher) "the person who convinced the entire
class to balance pencil cases on their heads was not me."
i accidentally started thinking about weird stuff i've said and almost all of this was within the last year of my life oh my god
*Elena;~ ♥*
BravoSierra
Fireiscatching
happiest*
bye*
CharliesTheName
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BlackButterflies
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