gertch's Favorites

SarahDGirl
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 5:04pm UTC

Every teacher before they draw on the board,
"I'm not an artist."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 43 points

kathy143
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 5:12pm UTC

i hate when people say"boys are dogs"
boys are not dogs... dogs are LOYAL.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 37 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 7:10pm UTC

How to not have to give people gum (works especially well if you're unpopular, like me)
Person: yo, lemme get some gum
You: I'll give you a piece of gum if you can tell me my name.
Person: uh...
You: *slowly eats gum*
You: *whispers* thought so
If they get your name right
Person: yo lemme get some gum
You: I'll give you some gum if you can tell me my name
Person: *says your name*
You: ew, you creep, how do you know my name? ew, go away

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 55 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 8:41pm UTC

if you save yourself for marriage
you're a bore
if you don't save yourself for marriage
you're a wh.ore-ible person
if you won't have a drink
you're a prude
but they'll call you a drunk
as soon as you down the first one

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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^_^*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 3:44pm UTC

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say "hello"
My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points

savannah*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 2:44pm UTC

I've got 99 problems and approximately 86 of them are completely made up
scenarios in my head that i'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 52 points

Steve*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 4:00pm UTC

On the internet: Ugh I hate people so much
Applying for a job: I love working with people and I’m very sociable

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*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 6:08pm UTC

Write Something Your Parents Would Be Proud Of
DEAR MOM AND DAD
no i was not on the internet for 9 hours straight last night why would you think that

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 67 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC

People get Hypothermia
from looking at me cause I'm that cool

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 71 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 6:13pm UTC

Can we talk about the way the letter g is written on computer fonts
g
It looks so weird when written out on paper

👍 this is good · read the comments · 74 points

Steve*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 4:03pm UTC

plain white t-shirt in girls section: Extra Slimming, Soft Cotton, Great for Layering Under $300 Jacket, Lose 10 Pounds When You Put It On, Slims Shoulders, Slims Waist, Slims Neck, Slims Hips, $24.99
plain white t-shirt in boys section: Buy 10 for $0.99
plain white t’s: hey there delilah whats it like in new york city

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 73 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 6:46pm UTC

Teacher: Turn in the test even if you're not finished.
Teacher: Oh and it's worth 25% of your grade.

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*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 5:15pm UTC

Apparently “bae” means “before anyone else”
I always thought it was a ghetto word for “babe”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 160 points

savannah*
posted a quote
November 6, 2013 2:46pm UTC

DIET IDEA:
Eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 106 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 7:04pm UTC

Mom: What does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Me: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.
Mom: Okay, I'll ask your sister

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 66 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
October 26, 2013 7:02pm UTC

*grandpa voice* See, back in my day, the bathroom was used for taking a sh*t, not pictures

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glitter162*
posted a quote
October 26, 2013 7:10pm UTC

Phineas: I know what we're gonna do today!
Ferb:
Ferb: Of course you do, you triangle-headed c*nt. Maybe I wanted to decide what to do today. Did you ever think of that? No. You never think about what I want, you f*cking b*tch. We have the funds to prevent natural disaster and cure cancer, but no, you'd rather f*ck around and build rollercoasters and sh*t. Someday I will end your f*cking life, just you wait and see.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 164 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:36pm UTC

Me: Dad, I'm cold
Dad: Go stand in a corner
Me: Why?
Dad:
Me:
Dad: The corner is 90 degrees.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 179 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:38pm UTC

Stereotypical White Girl: *cries* My daddy won't pay for my nose job

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gertch