UnicornMcnuggets's Favorites

UnicornMcnuggets

Ralph*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 9:55pm UTC

I wanna be a panda
bear so 'freakin bad,
eAT ALL OF THE BAMBOO I NEVER HAD
I WANNA BE ON THE COVER OF ZOO MAGAZINES
SMILING NEXT TO ZEBRA AND THE PIG
OH EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
I SEE MYSELF BLACK AND WHITE
A DIFFERENT ZOO EVERY NIGHT, OH I SWEAR
THE WORLD BETTER PREPARE
FOR WHEN I'M A PANDA BEAR

👍 this is good · read the comments · 351 points

LemonRoses
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 3:29pm UTC

10-year-old girl: Nobody in my class knows I'm dating him! We made out in his bedroom and I swear we gonna go all the way! It was so romantic!
Me: Stop. Just stop.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 137 points

TheGurlWithTheCurls
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 5:12pm UTC

Why do they call it the constitution? Con means it's negative.
They should call it the PROsti-- Oh ( -.-)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 206 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 2:38pm UTC

2010: You're only cool if you have Silly Bandz!
2011: Planking is boss!
2012: Hey, lets go choke on cinnamon!
2013: I feel like eating my used tampon.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 230 points

ToriRox16
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 2:00pm UTC

A List of My Many Talents
-eating
-typing
-texting
-reading
-sarcasm
-sleeping
-lame puns
-lip-synching
-bad dancing
-chewing gum
-making quotes
-scaring the entire human population

👍 this is good · read the comments · 227 points

happiest*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 3:28pm UTC

You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: name?
Stranger: chun wu at your service
You: alexander goldberg
Stranger: sup?
You: u know i never forgave u koreans for attacking pearl harbor
Stranger: uhh.i'm chinese
You: chinese,japanese,korean...what's the difference
Stranger: u serious?
You: yeah
Stranger: .....
Stranger: u know i never forgave u jews for sinking the titanic
You: that was an iceberg
Stranger: goldberg,greenberg,iceberg what's the difference
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 432 points

JoshConnollyTheCoolKid
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 9:42am UTC

Today 's weight loss tip:
Use superglue as your lip gloss

👍 this is good · read the comments · 202 points

kamilagirl225
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:18pm UTC

Around Parents: Normal Mode, on.
Around Friends: Silly Mode, on.
Aound Babies: Barney Mode, on .
Around Crush: Retarted Mode, on.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 288 points

bye*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 1:01pm UTC

it’s funny because disney channel thinks i need the lyrics on the screen to sing along to high school musical

👍 this is good · read the comments · 473 points

XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:56pm UTC

Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-scented shampoos before? Everything was just strawberry, cinnamon, and citrus. Nice, normal things.
Now I pick up a bottle of shampoo and it's all like:
"DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYA MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLIAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOU HAIR SOME VOLUME."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 844 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 4:21am UTC

cinderella said to snow white,
'how does love get so off course?
all i wanted was a white knight
with a good heart,
soft touch,
fast horse."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 38 points

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