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KoalaGurl125
posted a quote
February 20, 2013 8:59pm UTC

YOUR SMILE IS WHAT MAKES YOU PRETTY,
YOUR BODY IS WHAT MAKES YOU
SEXY,
BUT YOUR HEART IS WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:29pm UTC

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you your heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

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Love_To_Laugh123
posted a quote
March 19, 2012 3:44pm UTC

First Day of School:
30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 markers, 10 notebooks, 3 binders, 5 book covers, billions of peices of paper, and soo much more.
Middle of March:
1 pencil you found on the ground in science.

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bgsoccer93
posted a quote
March 26, 2012 4:07pm UTC

Louis: 4 sisters
Zayn: 3 sisters
Liam: 2 sisters
Harry: 1 sister
Niall: a brother
______________
Louis: right handed
Zayn: right handed
Liam: right handed
Harry: right handed
Niall: left handed
______________
Louis: British
Zayn: British
Liam: British
Harry: British
Niall: Irish
Cause Niall's a special snowflake.

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Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
June 3, 2012 6:26pm UTC

Shoutout to the Sprouse twins
for being the only Disney stars that didn't start a singing career~

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bailie008
posted a quote
February 29, 2012 4:39pm UTC

Me: Oh my god. My period is late.
Me: AM I PREGNANT?
Me: Wait...
Me: Still a virgin.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I must be carrying the next baby jesus.
Me: Seems legit.
-tumblr-

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3364 points

livelaughlovee16
posted a quote
June 6, 2012 6:18pm UTC

today i was an amusmant park with my school,
and i saw a hot guy.
so i pulled out a sharpie,
walked over to him,
and said,
"can i test my sharpie on you?"
he shrugged so i took his arm,
wrote my number on it, and walked away.
i got a text a few minutes later saying,
"i think it works."

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kristabff
posted a quote
December 26, 2012 12:35pm UTC

Rihanna: Oh na na, what's my name? What's my name?
Chris Brown: Oh god did i really hit her that hard

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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itsamadworld
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 8:45pm UTC

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a sound could be heard except the click of my mouse.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 8:19pm UTC

Someone needs to tell Justin Bieber
that he isn't black

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nopatience
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 9:01pm UTC

So I went to the store,
on Monday,
to buy... things.
Me: *stands awkwardly and miserably at the cash register where there is an insanely hot cashier who's like 18 and an old fat security guard standing nearby for god knows what reason*
Cashier: *starts checking out my tampons, tissues, toilet paper, and nose spray*
Security Guard: *starts cracking up*
Me: *awkward death glare that's not as menicing as I wanted it to be*
Cashier: *dying of laughter*
Security Guard: Well, you've got liquid comin' outta all your holes!
Cashier: *literally falls over from laughing so hard*
Me: *blushes*
Me: *secretly hiding laughter*
Me: *grabs a paper bag, rips 2 holes out, and puts it on my head*
Me: *walks away silently without taking any of the stuff I'd originally wanted to buy*
Me: *gets to the car*
Me: *dies*
Mom: where's all the stuff you needed?
Me: don't. ask. just. drive.
Mom: well sh*t I'll do it you p*ssy
Mom: *gets out of car*
~~~ 15 minutes later ~~~
Mom: *gets in car with a blush*
Me: it happened to you too?
Mom: shut the h*ll up.

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sammy*
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 9:08pm UTC

Mistletoe?
more like mistleNO.
hahahahaha i'm funny.
someone please date me.

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iridescentstorm
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 9:12am UTC

Comebacks #4...
"Excuse me?"
"What, b*tch?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if you fell out of the $lut tree and banged every stick on the way down?"
20+ faves for more

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

Maddyhj
posted a quote
December 6, 2012 8:56pm UTC

I like wearing oversized sweaters.
Not because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 6, 2012 3:27pm UTC

Me: Hey, I like your shirt.
Them: Thanks, I got it for seventy dollars at a department store.
Me: Really? Because for seventy dollars at Burlington, I got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwar, a golden retriever, and two Puerto Rican children.

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yourcool
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 1:40pm UTC

things i never learned in high school:
- how to do taxes
- what taxes are
- how to vote
- what politics are
- how to write a reusme/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
- how to write a check/balance a check book
- anything to do with banking
- how to do loans for college
- how to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
- how to buy a house or a car
but boy am i f/cking glad that i know the pythagorean theorm.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 945 points

blankwolf*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 10:21pm UTC

How to tell who has been stalking your Facebook profile.
1. Go to Facebook.com
2. Right click anywhere on the page.
3. Click "View page source"
4. Press CTRL + F and type "orderedfriends"
5. Copy the first series of numbers in quotation marks below it.
6. Open another tab, go to Facebook.com/(paste the number here)
7. The first number is the person that's been on your profile the most,
the second the second most, and so on.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1562 points

LifesMyMuse
posted a quote
December 10, 2012 5:35pm UTC

*little cousin walks in wearing a crown*
Me:Aw! Are you a princess?
Her: No, I don' t want to be!
Me: But don' t you want to find your Prince and ride off into the sunset?
Her: I'd rather be the queen. Then I could just force who ever I want to marry me.
Me:LOL

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 353 points

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