GiraffesDontMeow's Favorites

DarylJr114
posted a quote
November 29, 2012 6:29am UTC

Dumbledore: I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead. I trust you know that.
Dumbledore: Except for the time turner. We'll use that to save Buckbeak.

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Alyssa Elton*
posted a quote
November 29, 2012 6:15pm UTC

Two people texting
Person 1: Hey, watchya doing?
Person 2: Just having a smoke.
Person 1: A cigar?
Person2: Nah, a cigarette.
Person1: Cigarette (noun) - a small cylindrical object with smoke at one end and a fool at the other.
Person 2: ...
smartphowned.com

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
November 29, 2012 10:51pm UTC

I want to cry so badly,
but I think I'm out of tears.

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AlexIsGandalf
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 10:50am UTC

So, I Got A Facebook
WTF do I do now......
Format:twilightgirl995

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muffinsandwitty7557
posted a quote
July 19, 2012 3:19pm UTC

Am I the only one
who wondered how Miley got away with being Hannah Montana around her friends?
Like if I wore a blonde wig and my friends saw me, they'd probably tell me to take it off and stop being an a//hole.
format by neversaynever16

👍 this is good · read the comments · 949 points

hailstorm37
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 12:26pm UTC

*Me at starbucks sitting alone.*
Hot Guy: Hi there.
Me: Hi
Hot Guy: Is this seat taken?
Me: No...
Hot Guy: Good cause I need a chair.
FOREVER ALONE

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_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 3:39pm UTC

Here's to the kids who
didn't know Adele was 7 months pregnant until just now O.o
♥

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 17, 2012 2:01pm UTC

So it turns out snooki's due date is December 21, 2012.
Well played, Mayans.
Well played.

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SpecialSomeone
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 10:49am UTC

R.I.P;
I know many of you wont care. but this is something that kills me.
I'm putting my cat down because I'm almost 1000% sure she has cancer. She can't walk, or meow. it sucks to look at her and know that she is suffering. To look at my cat and think I can't go on without her. She's mine. She has always been. Knowing that she is gone will eat me alive. I just want to know my witty family is there for me. I need you all to be there for me.
this quote was just a vent... also to see if anyone really cared...
rest.in.peace.cuddles. <3
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

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TVQuotes
posted a quote
July 18, 2012 5:02pm UTC

Drake and Josh #5
Josh: I say things twice for emphasis. EMPHASIS!
follow me, I'll follow back @TVQuotes

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 20, 2012 9:47am UTC

That awesome momentWhen YouTube is kind enough to let you skip the ads.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 9:08am UTC

I recently forced my parents to watch all the Harry Potter. movies with me.
We had gone through all the movies and were on The Deathly Hallows Part 2, and my father looked at me and asked, "Wait, who's Voldemort?"

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shortyac1357
posted a quote
July 19, 2012 12:05pm UTC

People 726419295 miles from me: Wow! You're so pretty! I'm so jealous!
People at my school: Ew. It moves.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 20, 2012 11:29pm UTC

"Am I on top or bottom?"I whisper as we start a two player game of Mario Kart.

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AustinH
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 10:01pm UTC

Tom and Jerry;
The original "1000 Ways to Die"

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LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 8:02pm UTC

New Jonas Brothers Category
Hi friends. A lot of people on Witty Profiles are complaining about the huge number of Jonas Brothers “quotes”. I made a new category called celeb where these quotes can go and moved a bunch of the quotes into that category.
-Steve
This is a blog post from 2008. Looks like witty has had the boyband quote problem before. LOLOLOLOLOL

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xHello
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 11:50am UTC

Boys are nicer when they aren't with their friends.
weheartit.com

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smile_iloveyou
posted a quote
July 19, 2012 11:59pm UTC

&& Who Else...
Counts how many hours of sleep they will get if they go to bed
"right now'?

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lozza821
posted a quote
July 22, 2012 12:03am UTC

My parents think I’m the only one who spends all day on the internet.
Little does she know, all of you exist.

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