Witty Profiles

muffinsandwitty7557

1. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   August 19, 2012 5:12pm UTC
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   I don't give a f/ck if you smoke. I don't give a f/ck if you drink. I don't give a f/ck if you do drugs. I don't give a f/ck if you're a virgin.
   Who am I to judge the life you live?
   But I do know that you shouldn't ever make anyone feel less than what they're worth. So enough with the "teenage virgins are an endangered species" crap. I'm sick of girls trying to make other girls feel bad for decisions they've made in the past. You want to know why? Because they can't f/cking change the past. At least give them the encouragement and support to change their future.
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   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
2. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2012 12:37am UTC
   Me when I first made my witty: Haha what is this website even about?? Better make up a stupid username lol.
   Me now: Sh/t...
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 119 points
3. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 31, 2012 11:27pm UTC
   Am I the only one who feels like an a//hole
   when they fave a quote with 69 faves?
   nmf
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 370 points
4. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 19, 2012 3:29pm UTC
   Friend: Was that lightning??
   Me: No, they're taking pictures for google earth. -.-
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 425 points
5. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 19, 2012 3:19pm UTC
   Am I the only one
   who wondered how Miley got away with being Hannah Montana around her friends?
   Like if I wore a blonde wig and my friends saw me, they'd probably tell me to take it off and stop being an a//hole.
   format by neversaynever16
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 949 points
6. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 7, 2012 3:28pm UTC
   Witty girl/guy: Fave this, and I'll comment something nice on your profile (:
   Me: *faves*
   Me:
   Me:
   Me:
   Me:
   Me:
   Me: You sit on a throne of lies.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 1041 points
7. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2012 7:26pm UTC
   Friend: What will you do when your idol becomes a dad?
   Me: I will become a mother.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 356 points
8. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2012 4:43pm UTC
   Did anyone ever notice
   how in Harry Potter, the soul-eating
   dementors never go for Ron?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 436 points
9. muffinsandwitty7557
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2012 3:03pm UTC
   Pretty girl: I'd rather be called beautiful than hot.
   Me: I'll take what I can get.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 1080 points
10. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2012 5:46pm UTC
    Because
    a hot teen boy holding up a sign that says 'You're Beautiful' definitely raises my self esteem -_-
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 489 points
11. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2012 7:15pm UTC
    *Me with my future kids*
    kids: mom, we want concert tic-
    me: sure
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 659 points
12. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 8:06pm UTC
    "You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see,
    but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."
    -Johnny Depp
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 105 points
13. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 4:36pm UTC
    Someone at the door: rings doorbell
    Me: Dives to the floor like I'm being shot at, army crawls around the couch, rolls into another room, peeks around a corner to see if I can tell who it is, and then proceeds to wait for them to leave.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 91 points
14. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 4:26pm UTC
    if i was famous, ,,
    every time a fan would come up to me and ask for a picture I would whisper
    “I’ve seen your witty” right before the picture is taken.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points
15. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2012 4:16pm UTC
    The fact that there’s over 7.2 billion people in the world, ,,,,,,
    and not even one of them is taking one for the team by dating me is extremely unacceptable.
    e.smh.
    Format by Sandrasaurus
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 555 points
16. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 6:21pm UTC
    Maybe I'm asking for too much, but...
    I don't want a guy who will pause his video game to text me. I want a guy who will turn off the game so we can talk on the phone for hours.
    Format:twilightgirl995
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points
17. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 5:40pm UTC
    Like 90% of the ocean remais
    unexplored and you're telling
    me mermaids don't exist?
    smh.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 303 points
18. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2012 4:47pm UTC
    If I was a doctor...
    One Direction: I broke my toe.
    Me: Okay, just remove all your clothes and I'll take a look.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 204 points
19. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2012 3:51pm UTC
    Dear People who are telling girls to stop "fangirling"
    and "obsessing" over celebrities,
    Honestly, who do you think you are? Yes, I understand some girls go a bit overboard and lose their self-respect as well as respect for the artist, but you are just naming a small percent of the girls. Or at least you obviously don't know the girls on witty. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe this musician/band actually keeps this girl going through life? Maybe she doesn't have anyone else to turn to. Maybe she listens to their music and is brought to tears just thinking about them. Maybe she's in love with someone who doesn't know she exists. But take a look around you. Have you ever loved someone you can't have? Ever had someone constantly telling you it will never work? Yeah, it f/cking hurts. But that won't stop you from loving them just as much even if they did know you. Maybe because you have some faith, some hope. Not just because you think they're "sexy" or "hot as f/ck" but because you know that no matter what happens, you'll always have those memories of being a "fangirl". So yes, I'm f/cking proud to be a "fangirl". It means I'm dedicated and hopeful, and you have absolutely no right whatsoever to tell me otherwise. Who are you to tell me who I love? All I know is that when I see their picture or hear their voice, it puts a smile on my face, and who are you to tell me that I have no respect or dignity?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 38 points
20. muffinsandwitty7557
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 5:35pm UTC
    Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?
    Me: 10
    Teacher: Okay, well what if somebody forcibly takes two of the cakes, how many would you have left then?
    Me: 10 and a dead body.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 396 points

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